-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling entranceWay [EW] --

[forevercapslock]

OKAY, I KNOW THIS IS COMPLETELY POINTLESS. THIS TYPING UP SHIT FOR PEOPLE TO SEE THING, I MEAN. MEMOS NEVER WORKED OUT FOR ME BEFORE, EXCEPT TO MAKE ME ARGUE WITH MYSELF ACROSS SPANS OF TEN OR FIFTEEN MINUTES IN SOME SORT OF TEMPORAL CIRCLE-JERK THAT ONLY EVER MADE ME LOOK LIKE A HUGE BULGE-SCRATCHING TOOL WHO HAS NO ONE BUT OTHER ITERATIONS OF HIMSELF TO TALK TO.
BUT I GUESS THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT I AM ANYWAY? SINCE NO ONE IS ACTUALLY READING THIS, IT'S FAIR TO SAY THAT DESPITE THE TEMPORAL LIMITATIONS OF THIS NEANDERTHAL CHAT CLIENT, I'M REALLY JUST TYPING THIS FOR MY OWN BENEFIT SO THAT I DON'T SIT HERE STARING AT A BLANK SCREEN, SCREAMING AND SCREAMING AND FUCKING SCREAMING SOME MORE UNTIL SOMETHING RUPTURES.
ANYWAY, THERE IS ACTUALLY A POINT TO THIS POINTLESS MEMO AND I'M FINALLY GETTING TO THAT. IF YOU ACTUALLY READ ALL OF THIS, HERE IT IS: THE POINT.
I AM GOING TO COME TO YOUR RESPITEBLOCK IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT
I AM GOING TO STAND NEXT TO YOUR HUMAN BED WHILE YOU SLEEP
AND I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE, EGBERT.










WHY AM I SURPRISED THAT THERE IS NO FUTURE ME CHIMING IN HERE TO TELL ME TO SHUT MY SEED FLAPS? HOW AM I GOING TO KNOW WHEN TO STOP SHOVING MY FOOT DOWN MY OWN WINDTUBE WITHOUT FUTURE ME TO TEXT-WALL ME INTO CONFUSED RAGE UNTIL I BECOME HIM AND COMPLETE THE LOOP BY SCREAMING AT PAST ME?
FUCK, I ACTUALLY MISS FUTURE ME.
YOU'VE DONE IT, UNIVERSE.
YOU'VE WON.

Comments

[forsaintcecilia]

Yeah, I get that, but... You're expecting to hear from him?

[forevercapslock]

THE CHAT CLIENT I'M USED TO USING ALLOWS THE SAME PERSON TO RESPOND TO OPEN MEMOS FROM ALL POINTS IN THE TIMELINE DURING WHICH THE MEMO EXISTS.

[forsaintcecilia]

So you're saying, your instant messenger lets you message yourself?

[forevercapslock]

YES. PRETTY MUCH, THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M SAYING.

[forsaintcecilia]

[Kazuki thinks about this. For someone like himself, who is generally peaceable and good-natured, a tool like that wouldn't be a problem. He probably wouldn't even use it. It doesn't sound like a worthwhile thing.]

[For a little bundle of anger like Karkat, however...]

Do you yell at yourself a lot then?

[forevercapslock]

PRETTY MUCH ANYTIME I HAVE 30 CONSECUTIVE MINUTES WHEN I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING ELSE.

[forsaintcecilia]

Doesn't that make you feel bad?

[forevercapslock]

IT'S USEFUL FOR PERSONAL GROWTH.
IN A WAY THAT FEELS LIKE BEING SCREWED WITH MY PANTS ON EVERY FUCKING TIME.

[forsaintcecilia]

[Your hand for metaphor continues to amaze, Karkat.]

That sounds like it hurts!

[forevercapslock]

EXACTLY.

[forsaintcecilia]

But you'd still do it, because you think... It makes you a better person?

[forevercapslock]

I DO IT BECAUSE I'M STUPID. BECOMING A BETTER PERSON OR WHATEVER IS JUST A SIDE-EFFECT.

[forsaintcecilia]

You're not stupid! You're way smarter than me!

[forevercapslock]

YOU DON'T KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO SAY THAT.

[forsaintcecilia]

I think I do...

[forevercapslock]

WELL FINE. IF YOU WANT TO THINK I'M MORE INTELLIGENT THAN YOU, GO AHEAD.
I GUESS I WON'T STOP YOU FROM THINKING I'M GREAT.
EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE COMPLETELY WRONG.

[forsaintcecilia]

Why wouldn't you be great? I think you're pretty cool.

[forevercapslock]

THAT QUESTION REQUIRES A LONG AND INVOLVED ANSWER AND I DON'T WANT TO ADDRESS THAT RIGHT NOW.

[forsaintcecilia]

Then... Maybe you should just agree with me instead!

[forevercapslock]

NO.
I WOULD HAVE TO TURN IN MY "DISAGREEABLE FUCKERS ANONYMOUS" MEMBERSHIP CARD IF I DID THAT.

[forsaintcecilia]

Do you get a lot of points?

[forevercapslock]

I GET ALL THE POINTS.

[forsaintcecilia]

Well...

Don't punch anyone in their sleep. Then you wouldn't be great.

[forevercapslock]

I'M NOT GOING TO PUNCH ANYONE IN THEIR SLEEP.
THAT, LIKE MOST OF WHAT I'M SAYING AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT AT TIME, WAS JUST A BURST OF CATHARTIC ANGER.

[forsaintcecilia]

Oh, um.

I never know when to take you seriously.