entranceway | ( text → video )

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[ The incomprehensible typing immediately switches to a very frustrated America cursing under his breath with language that would impress a sailor. He blinks once he realizes that the video is on. ]

Finally. These damn things-- handy, don't get me wrong, but whatever happened to writing? D'ya know how long it took me to learn how to do that? [ huff. ]

Okay, onwards. Show of hands: who here's American and who's from the much less handsome funsucker known as England? 'Cause it seems like the limeys are crawlin' right outta the woodwork.

[ His sour looks immediately brightens. ]

But if ya are American, I'd like to have ya in my sights! You're my responsibility, being your country and all. Gotta make sure y'all are fine and dandy and whatnot! And uh, all you guys who ain't American. I'm used to takin' people under my wings and... yeah, I know I'm kinda goin' through a lot right now, but my ports are always open. Er, metaphorically. And literally. Don't think it really applies literally here, though.

[ Awkwardly rubs his neck. That got a little more rambly (and a lot more insecure) than he intended. GOTTA SAVE FACE. ]

Anyone needin' some quality doctoring can also talk to me! Even though apparently some people don't think I'm quite up to snuff, I can tell ya that I have a great success rate and can stitch with the best of 'em. Plus, who doesn't want a treatment that prescribes the best medicine of all?

[ Grinning, he holds up a bottle of Wild Turkey.

So quality. ]

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