002 ♚ audio

[boyhood]

_{[Whodunnits aren't really Peter's leisure activity of choice. Who's committed a crime and why aren't as interesting as what a person will do to overcome a challenge. Slapdash, violent, gleeful murder… it's a bit much. And rather hard to ignore after the first few bodies start appearing and the horrified reactions start buzzing amongst the people.]}

Lock your doors and shutter your windows, it looks like we're in for a nasty storm.

_{[Only Peter's boyish voice can be heard; there's no indication of where he might be, or what he might be doing. Maybe he's taking his own advice on this one.]}

If you don't, be careful who you come across in the halls. Or what you might find.


| private message to Emma Swan and Regina Mills |

I expect you'll be keeping a better eye on Henry this time. Don't wander off and lose your hearts. Someone taking them without magic makes an impressive mess.

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[stoptheviolence]

[By some combination of miracles and sheer dumb luck, Brittany finds absolutely no trouble along the way to the Music Room. Unlike later, where the trouble will be right in the music room. She saunters in, pleased at herself for finding it even quicker than the last time, looking deceptively stylish and sure of herself.]

[It doesn't take her long to spot Peter, and while she does notice his clothing--Brittany notices everybody's clothing--she doesn't comment. She wasn't here for a fashion consult, after all. She was here for the music.]

Hey.

So, like, you wanted to know about that Britney, right? Or should I get right into the singing?

[boyhood]

You must be she. You came, despite my warning. I'm impressed.

<sub>[Peter doesn't get up, but he lifts his head at her entrance with a smile. So proud of herself. It's a little on the adorable side.

How do you stay angry at something that's so heart-warmingly earnest? Like a pet dog. Pets might get their drool on your belongings before they learn their lesson, but they don't know any better. Not their fault.]</sub>

Well, if I'm following along correctly-- _{[And he usually does!]} --I'm under the impression your namesake does what you do.

_{[He leans forward, folding his arms on his knees. He doesn't immediately launch into a polemic on how being a namesake points toward a certain inferiority when a person is following the footsteps of someone else, and that surely counts toward his forgiving nature.]/sub>}

[stoptheviolence]

What warning? You told me to meet up with you here. So I'm meeting up with you here.

[With no danger having been presented to her as of yet, it was just as simple as that. Brittany liked keeping things simple. Unless they were talking dance routines. Then, all simple bets were off.]

I'm not sure what you're following, but whatever it is you've heard about her doing, I can totally do it better.

[boyhood]

_{[When Peter smiles, does he look like he's snickering on the inside? Does he? If he does, it couldn't possibly have anything to do with this conversation.]}

Yes, what warning. I've forgotten already.

_{[Hereby forfeiting any and all responsibility over Brittany's well-being... Pretending, of course, that he'd had any to begin with.]}

And what do you do?

[stoptheviolence]

[Sadly enough, Brittany was so used to that look, she didn't think anything of it. They were both here. She was getting ready to do her favorite thing in the entire world other than her girlfriend. What could be better?]

This.

[There's a sudden...change in her aura as she steps back, dropping every loose article of clothing until she's just wearing a tight tank top and her jeans. Music starts up from seemingly nowhere. A tune that would be familiar to those who knew the Princess of Pop, but most likely foreign to Peter.]

[Within seconds, Brittany is moving with a downright shocking precision, tempo, and control of her body. Every movement is utterly flawless. She looks like a completely different person, even before the first words make it out of her mouth:]

All you people look at me like I'm a little girl.
Well did you ever think it be okay for me to step into this world....

[The routine goes on for more than a minute before she ends with a flourish and final pose.]

[Judge away, Peter.]

[boyhood]

<sub>[Excuse him, at what point had they agreed this would involve losing pieces of clothing? From appearance alone, he might not look any older or younger than Brittany herself, and being a boy, a teenage boy, he should perhaps appreciate the aesthetic value of an attractive girl imitating Britney Spears (and if he'd been a teenage boy from her world, he'd know who that is.)

But he doesn't. To Peter, there is something profoundly disturbing watching a girl of her age and her land hop around like this.

What is he listening to?

What is he watching?

And for that matter, is it normal to feel like his innocence has been defiled just a little bit more as a consequence of this demonstration?

His expression hovers within the limits of mildly perplexed for however the long melody lasts--it all begins to blur together during the first chorus. Well. He doubts he will be a fan of this Britney Spears. She sounds like a person pining for male company as badly as the Captain for Emma Swan. Carnal desperation, that's a good way to describe it.

Yuck.

... Congratulations, Brittany, you've earned a few moments of speechlessness from a master of words. Tom could have snuck up behind him and he probably wouldn't have even given the pickaxe a second thought.]</sub>

[stoptheviolence]

[Oh, don't be such a prude, Peter. Nothing was actually showing. Other than her mad skills.]

[She looks proud of herself the moment the routine is over, feeling both successful and accomplished. Her moves had been perfect, her voice carrying each word just as she wanted it too. But perhaps the strangest thing was that, as the last notes faded into the air...she once more resumed the same aura of innocence and Brittanyness as previously radiated.]

[Just a performance. A fun, enticing performance, but that's all it was.]

So?

I told you I can do Britney better than Britney.

[boyhood]

<sub>[To confirm the truthfulness of that claim, Peter would have to fully understand who she's trying to compare herself to... but if this girl had a smidge of sense to begin with, this--all of this--likely wouldn't have happened.

Peter Pan has learned something new this day, and he's not sure he appreciates the lesson. Her idea of a dance performance is a mystifying thing.]</sub>

You're rather spirited.

_{[Only after a few more moments of silence and another bemused look does he venture to say anything.]}

That was... beyond my expectations.

[stoptheviolence]

Well, yeah, I am a cheerleader.

[Accepting his words as complimentary, she smiled brightly. Brushed some of the hair from her eyes and leaned back a bit.]

I get that reaction a lot.

Most people, when they first meet me, don't really think I can be good at much.

[boyhood]

And what is a cheerleader? Someone who excels at enthusiasm like you?

<sub>[Yes, he will knowingly open that door. The modern teenaged version of Pandora's box.

Peter, by very nature of who he is, is much better at cutting people down than he is at building them up; the former is thrilling in the way the latter isn't. A young girl plagued by outside scrutiny is practically a game that plays itself, but in the moment Peter merely smiles a little, a vague quirk of the mouth.]</sub>

I wouldn't say that. You have a presence.

_{[Certainly a unique gift of looking blindly past what's going on around her. That gift is far more impressive than her acrobatics, really.]}

[stoptheviolence]

Actually...yeah.

[A very, very generalized definition of the word, sure, but it wasn't wrong!]

It's our job, basically, to cheer on our sports teams with the power of school spirits and really hot mini skirts. But we compete a lot on our own, too. Actually, we've won more competitions than most of the other sports teams combined.

[Especially Football.]

[Oh, Football Team. Why do you suck so much?]

...thanks.

I'd like to hope I do.

[boyhood]

<sub>[Truly, words uttered from the mouths of babes. Peter's doubt is a deep and abiding thing when Brittany voices her claim about skirts, but he doesn't presume to know more about this subject than her and so ultimately says nothing.

Flouncing around in skirts is a hobby some members of her sex participate in, he knows that much. A fearsome power in its own right, and one that has his eyebrows drawing together in a knot.

People who judge Neverland for its twists and turns don't appreciate its simplicity in comparison to this.]</sub>

Oh, you do. It's not easy to impress Peter Pan with something new, you know, and impress me you have. _{[His expression relaxes, tone turning knowing.]} So that's it, then, you want to make a name for yourself, one that outshines the rest? That I understand.

[stoptheviolence]

[Regardless of his inner thoughts, to Brittany, Peter's words are as clear-cut and complimentary as any she had ever heard. She smiled warmly at him, nodding.]

You too, huh?

...well, yeah, duh. Of course you do. You were named after Peter Pan. Why wouldn't you want to be somebody you are, and not somebody you're not?

[boyhood]

_{[He pushes himself to his feet, more relaxed now than he had been the first time she'd shown her confusion at his name. Perhaps come to grips with the blow it lands to his significant amount of pride, despite his efforts over the years to be the ever detached and ever untouchable Pan.]}

The difference is, I already am who I want to be and there's no one else who could contend. Anyone named after my story is named after me.

_{[Hairsplitting, it's true, and not even completely accurate the way he tells it. Brittany is technically right--there had been another Peter Pan before he'd taken the identity, someone small and innocent who had given him the name. For that reason, Peter can't be angry. At the start of things, he hadn't been the genuine article any more than some air-headed girl grasping at someone else's coattails.]}

Eventually you'll come to understand this. Repetition may be good for you. But it seems to me you're not quite there yet.

[stoptheviolence]

[Her nose scrunched up in such a way to show her taking offense at that statement. But not the usual kind. More like the kind where she knew he was right, but she didn't like the fact that he was right, so she took offense to that more than the statement itself.]

I'm working on it, okay?

[boyhood]

A pity you couldn't compete, isn't it? If you have a person you want to surpass and they were here, everyone could judge.

<sub>[A skills competition! Even a feminine singing competition is better than none at all.

Not even Peter can comprehend the true horror of Britney Spears in Wonderland, however. This means it should happen one day!]</sub>

[stoptheviolence]

[Whatever reaction Peter had been hoping for, Brittany actually brightened at the thought. Her confidence in herself was just that strong.]

I'd so totally win, too.

[boyhood]

<sub>[He likes hearing people boast, it always makes failure or success all the better.

He might not share her interests, but Peter clearly does admire the chase--in Britney's case, in a very limited regard. Music is always more pleasing when, of a natural course, the music itself is pleasing. Modern life just doesn't suit this old timer, along with its pop music.]</sub>

And how would you propose to win against someone who's come before you?

[stoptheviolence]

[If he asked nicely, she could always pull out some of the classics? Somehow, she and her fellow gleeks seem to know them all upon request.]

By being better than her, obviously.

[boyhood]

<sub>[What is this asking "nicely" you speak of? And moreover, what are the classics and what are the gleeks? These are confusing times for a Neverlander.

Peter lifts his chin, looking like he's considering this answer.]</sub>

If you don't mind my asking after you've treated me and everything, how are you better than someone by reusing their material?

_{[That's a fair way to call... whatever kind of song that had been, isn't it?]}

[stoptheviolence]

[Fair. But inaccurate.]

You say 'reusing'. I say 'improving'.

[boyhood]

Anything original in there?

_{[Go on, really impress him, Britney! He's giving you the opportunity!]}

Nothing?

[stoptheviolence]

Hey, don't answer for me!

I've totally written my own song before. It was pretty good too, if you ask me.

[boyhood]

<sub>[What else is he supposed to do besides answer for her? She obviously can't do it for herself. There are so many things about her person that need improving upon, but he has to admit, the nimbleness required to flounce around like she had is a desirable quality for Lost Boys.

Such a shame she's... well, she's this. Peter squints, looking for a second like he's considering saying something, but decides against it.]</sub>

It takes creativity to do a thing like that. _{[His smile borders on teasing.]} Maybe you can. Much nicer to believe, isn't it?

[stoptheviolence]

[She can answer. It's just a matter of how one choose to interpret her words.]

I believe. I totally believe. In lots of things.

It's the strongest thing somebody can do, you know.