entranceway | [video] they ain't gonna catch you when you fall

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[video] they ain't gonna catch you when you fall

[The feed is turned away from Kid, showing a view of a shattered Wonderland, chunks of land suspended in midair, some of them connected by bridges made out of debris, some not. Some are small, some are large. The feed catches a door and a section of wall tumbling out into the nothingness below with a crack of wood and metal.]

Yeah, this one's mine.

[Kid keeps the camera pointed out at Wonderland. He doesn't want to look at the camera right now. Of all the events to happen only a week after his death, it had to be this one. It's adding insult to injury, this reminder of what his world has become, and all the things that go along with it. And all of this on top of hearing that Dean has vanished.]

[It's just been a miserable month.]

Looks jus' like Caelondia. 'S uncanny. [That's one word for it. "Disturbing" is another.] Figger things're pretty obvious here. Don' bother tryin' t' jump, it jus' ain't worth th' risk 'nless ya got some Hop-Scotch on ya, an' I dunno 'f the closets are gonna work. S'ppose Wonderland ain't gonna be kind like Caelondia an' form up bridges 'neath yer feet. Keep t' ropes an' such. We got folk what kin fly here, yeah? They might be willin' t'help.

I'd gen'rally say jus' stay in one place, but that means settin' fer three 'r four days without food an' water fer some. 'F th' diner's whole, I'd say head that way. 'Course I ain't got no idea where it's ended up.

Jus'...look out fer each other. An' don't fall. [He pauses.] Th' gods sure ain't gonna catch ya.

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Real long way.

[He knows first hand.]

[At the question he pauses and reaches behind him, tugging a few times until something comes loose. He holds up something that looks like a large metal gear]

This's th' crest o' Caelondia. The remains o' th' city kinda...responded to it. Formed up bridges 'neath my feet when I was travelin' 'round. We also had th' Skyways. Sorta like glidin' on th' wind t'where ya need t'go.

[Jesse eyes the gear when Kid pulls it out, leaning forward a bit to get a better look.

It's... A gear. A magic gear? Whatever, still pretty cool.]

So all you gotta do is, like, walk? That's like some kinda crazy trust exercise.

[Only instead of falling backwards into a crowd, you... Step out into an abyss.

...Yeah, no thanks.]

Pretty much. Got useta it. Weren't quite directly 'neath my feet anyway. More like jus' in front. Still, always th' danger 'f fallin', or gettin' attacked by th' local enemies.

[THAT'S SOME RPG SHIT RIGHT THERE.]

Jesus, that's sounds, like... Treacherous. Do you know what did it? The crumbling, I mean.

[Because he's got nothing else to to besides ask questions and come on- who wouldn't wanna know how that shit went down? That's like... NatGeo on steroids.]

'S called th' Calamity. Broke th' city t'pieces. Killed most everyone.

[God damn that sucks. Almost makes his problems back home seem tame in comparison...

Almost. Still, it's terrible, no doubt about it.]

Wow, I'm uh-- I'm sorry, man, that seriously blows.

[On a pretty major level. Disaster movie status.]

So... What's "Hop-Scotch"? Not the game with the chalk squares, right?

Yeah...s'one way t'describe it.

Dunno 'bout chalk squares. S'a spirit--er, a liquor, yanno? Scotch. Makes ya jump better.

Like... Literally?

[He knows scotch makes him hurl better, but that's about the extent of his experience with the "helpful" properties of the stuff.

Still, he might be able to overcome his horrible booze prejudice for friggin' magic scotch. Eat it, Johnny Walker Blue.]

Like, leap tall buildings in a single bound Superman in a bottle, better?

Dunno 'bout a super man, an' don' think ya can leap a whole buildin', but ya can leap wide gaps.

[Jesse thinks about letting Kid in on the joys of that reference he's just dropped...

But in the end he decides that yeah, right in the middle of some home-grown mass death trauma memory is probably not the best time to wax poetic about DC Comics.]

And it's just in, what, like just in bars back where you come from?

[So cool. Minus the horrible trauma, of course.]

Man, we got stuff that's supposed to mess you up and probably make you think you can jump across rooftops or whatever... But nothing that actually does it.

Yeah. Th' thinkin' was always like, 'f yer gonna let yer workers get good an' drunk every night, better that they drinkin' somethin' what's gonna increase productivity. Or protect 'em from certain dangers an' such. Plenty o' high places ya needed t' leap from on th' Ripplin' Walls.

Work-sponsored drinking? Awesome. [Blow him, Mr. White, other bosses/partners have managed to remove that stick from the dark recesses of their collective assholes SO THERE.

Never mind that it's another world, or whatever. That's not the point.] You got any other dope shit back home?

[Like one that makes you grow or sprout wings... Maybe? Not like it's gonna be helpful here, but you know.]

Heh. Plenty 'f stuff. Alla it's in th' bar...ya kin check it out when everythin's settled again. They's Werewhiskey, what makes it so th' worse ya feel, th' harder ya punch. Good fer when yer sick, or expect t'be takin' hits. An' Fallin' Malt, what makes it so fallin' don' hurt as much. Dunno how them distillin' wizards did it, but it all works.

[Jesse listens, lips curling into a grin despite the less than ideal situation they've got going on here.]

Seriously? I'm not huge on the whole hangover thing but that's... Yeah. Definitely checking that out.

[That "Falling Malt" sure sounds like it'd be good to have around now.

...Just in case.]

All th' old Caelondian spirits had effects like that. And all tended t'taste good 's well. ...'Cept fer Doomshine. Bit 'f an acquired taste, that un.

[He actually laughs.]

Doomshine? Oh my god-- That's great. ...Supposedly we got something like that where I'm from, it like melts your eyeballs if it's too strong or something.

[Why anyone would wanna bother with that is beyond him.

~~Says the dude who literally and quite happily snorts poison on the daily.~~]

[He laughs for the first time.] Sounds about th' same. No one drinks Doomshine 'nless they got nothin' else, or 'nless they really wanna punch a Scumbag through a wall.

...Sounds like a good time, yo. Who doesn't wanna punch a scumbag through a wall, come on.

[Oh yeah, Jesse's done tons of scumbag punching in his life...

~~LIES, but ask him again a few seasons from now.~~]

Yeah? Ya got Scumbags in yer world too, eh?

[Jesse ducks his head juuust slightly.]

...Oh yeah. Absolutely. [...But his lips are curled into a grin.] All different flavours.

Heh. Only got blueberry back home. [No he's completely serious.]

[Uhhhhhhh........]

...Wait, what?

What?

Blueberry flavoured... People?

[WHO ARE YOU, HANNIBAL LECTER??]

...Uhh...think we talkin' 'bout diff'ernt things...

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