entranceway | second war

[ just for the record, america and clarisse should never, ever be allowed to hang out. seriously. they hit it off way too well for someone of clarisse's, er, disposition. but, come on, he has fucking raptors and he indulges her in her obsession with guns and shooting things. it's like a match made in a monthly subscription of guns & ammo.

tonight they aren't shooting anything, though. tonight they are getting wasted off their asses because clarisse still isn't allowed in the bar and america has moonshine in his bathtub and with the nightmares clarisse keeps having and the guilt that keeps eating away at her, she could really use a few drinks. she probably could just get a bottle of jack from the magic closet, but, you know, drinking by yourself is sad and lame. and clarisse is neither sad nor lame. she just wants to have a good time with the good ole united states of america.

but getting clarisse drunk is only asking for trouble. it's a good thing she can hold her own against giant metal bulls and ancient drakons, because, well... you'll all be getting a very drunken text about her newest victory. ]

I think i jsut punchd a raptro in t he face and survived

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

awesome

[ and she actually manages to spell that right. that's how awesome it was. it defies the intoxication. ]

How big was it?

bout the size of an ostritch btu way uglier and wtih more teeth

Good thing you survived, then. Wonderland has really ugly animals. Don't let any of the queens know. Could've been one of their pets.

nah its americas land fo the ffree adn hoem of the raptors

America has raptors? In Jurassic Park, sure.

[ not the america she knows … ]

[ oh cora u silly lil werewolf. ]

no i mean he gotem out of the closests odens't seem vyer american if u asjk me but i'm nto america nwo am i

[ cora believes this one is completely off the deep end and is swimming in true intoxication. ]

Yeah, you're not a country. I doubt they can text as well as you.

[ she's not entirely off base... ]

he's jsut as durnk as i am right nwo i bet he texst worse

America can't text. Americans can get drunk ...

[ missing the point here, cora. ]

he cantesxt hes' jsut too busy cryign over his raptor

How much have you had to drink?

[ she's giggling a little bit madly over here, and she's kind of glad only america is witness to her total giddiness of being drunk. ]

i dunoo probaly a whoel bottle of ajck mayeb moere

Do you have a map in front of you? A globe of the world?

[ there is no one named america, seriously. ]

[ goddammit cora. why can't you just believe her. ]

why woudl i have iether of thesoe thigns maerica is a dude named aftehr the ocuntry hes' sitting rihgt here wajtn me tor porve it

[ she's a hale, she has to make this more complicated than it is. ]

Ask him if his parents really hated him enough to name him after the country. And if he's a fan of Jurassic Park. The choice of raptor is inspired.

[ she'd meant to say yes, but considering some parents name their kids after countries and planets and fruits, she figures she might as well see if she can pry into the drunk reasoning of a dude named after a country who owns a raptor. ]

don't htink he ahs parents he si the ocutnry and laso a dude a dude ocuntury a coutnry dudde who doesnt' liek juraassid park ???

[ the question marks only come as an afterthought, given the fact that without them it sounds like she's saying he doesn't like jurassic park, when, in fact, he does. this has also gotten her to start singing the jurassic park theme song. it's a shame cora can't hear it. especially, since about halfway through, she forgets how it goes and starts singing the chariots of fire theme song instead. ]

[ how can a dude be a country? how can a country be a dude? cora had foregone asking for evidence, but since she's not quite believing this tale, she's going to need pics or it never happened. ]

I'm going to need proof that a dude is a country and a country is a dude.

[ it sounds especially stupid when she types it out. ]

[ alright, you asked for it, cora. clarisse switches to video, and she's still drunkenly humming the chariots of fire theme song while she leans back and points the camera at an awkward angle at america in his bathroom. she'll hear now this'll fuck you up! as america holds up a bottle of homemade liquor before the feed cuts out. ]

theres ur prorf

[ except that... probably didn't prove anything at all. ]

[ that? proves zilch. and allows cora to be even more of a pain in the ass. ]

What does that prove? He could be anyone. And sounds like any normal American.

[ promising to fuck someone up? it doesn't make him sound any different to those unfortunate souls she's stumbled upon over the last six years. ]

[ whatever cora she don't need to prove nothing to you. ]

whatevver u dont gotta blieve me but hsi naems sltill america

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