second war | text

[rues]

[ just for the record, america and clarisse should never, ever be allowed to hang out. seriously. they hit it off way too well for someone of clarisse's, er, disposition. but, come on, he has fucking raptors and he indulges her in her obsession with guns and shooting things. it's like a match made in a monthly subscription of guns & ammo.

tonight they aren't shooting anything, though. tonight they are getting wasted off their asses because clarisse still isn't allowed in the bar and america has moonshine in his bathtub and with the nightmares clarisse keeps having and the guilt that keeps eating away at her, she could really use a few drinks. she probably could just get a bottle of jack from the magic closet, but, you know, drinking by yourself is sad and lame. and clarisse is neither sad nor lame. she just wants to have a good time with the good ole united states of america.

but getting clarisse drunk is only asking for trouble. it's a good thing she can hold her own against giant metal bulls and ancient drakons, because, well... you'll all be getting a very drunken text about her newest victory. ]

I think i jsut punchd a raptro in t he face and survived

Comments

[alwaysnext]

[No no no, Luke doesn't ever want to give America the option to choose a hot American chick with weapons someone over him. That's why he's passive-aggressively sniping at Clarisse in the first place goddammit this backfired on him.]

yes!! so you even know and you still did it anyway!! its not ur bloody anniversary is it!!!

[rues]

[ ... and there we are ladies and gents and everyone in between. if this were a soap opera there'd be a dramatic music cue followed by a pregnant pause. ]

wow are u adn aemrica serosiusly gay for each other

[ not that she really cares. but she'd mostly been joking about him being jealous in that regard earlier. ]

[alwaysnext]

[That’s a question with a lot of weight behind it. The phrasing offends him easily, now he’s primed to be offended by anything Clarisse ever does, well-meaning or not.

But there’s also the stickier issue of what do boys from 1890 want you to say when asked if they’re shagging other boys? America seems more confident and open now than he was two weeks and thirty years ago, but Luke, unaware that his stupid-ass boyfriend discusses his dick with complete strangers and Captain Fucking America, doesn’t know if America’s still caught in his Victorian shame cycle. The last time he told someone they were dating, America sulked with him for an entire fifteen minutes.]

i don’t know. you’ll have to ask him.

[rues]

[ okay, look, she's not that invested in knowing, but maybe she'll ask him when she's less drunk. if she remembers to. honestly, she really doesn't give a shit. they're just gonna end up talking about dicks anyway and she'll find out then, so what's the point of asking now? she'll just keep asking luke uncomfortable questions. ]

ok btu i'ma ksign u
shodudlnt u know if ur gay for him
its fuckign simpel
do u watnna suck his dick or not

[alwaysnext]

you cant ask people questions like that!
werent you ever socialised in human behaviiour?? were you raised in a barn by bears??
america was raised by bears and evn he knows not to ask peopel questions like that dont be the weird one out of you and america
why does it even matter that i want to suck his dick youve never even met me!!

[rues]

[ too bad luke she can and she will. she's like a honey badger. she don't give a shit. ]

blahhahblah blahh
id ont'' really give a shit
i'm just sayign
if ur ghay for him u shoudl knwo
ps i was raised in arirozns yb my motheer
u talak shit abotut her i wnot hesistaet to punch u in the dick

[alwaysnext]

[Lucky this is video, because the noise of rage Luke makes at this mocking is unholy. He gives a shit. He gives all the shits. And completely misreads Clarisse's childhood home as Ariro, Ethiopia.]

why would i care about ur mum is she trying to have it off with america too?

[rues]

[ ... yes, that's exactly where she grew up. if he ever brings this up in person later, she will have no fucking clue what he's talking about. as it is, she has no clue what he's talking about. ]

what

[alwaysnext]

it means shag.

[rues]

I KWNOW WHAT IT MEANS
hwat the fhfuck does that havve to do wtih anythign