video/action.

[titanocidal]

[Eren's leaning against what would appear to be the kitchen counter. Fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, it takes him a moment to collect enough composure to look up at the feed. There's something cooking on the stove in the background, and by the way the pan pops and sizzles, one would almost suspect bacon. When he finally speaks, his words sound a little forced.]

Wow. It's been hectic around here lately, hasn't it? Is everyone alright? Everyone back where they should be? I got a little banged up before, but I--

...You know what? No. No. I can't just not say this: 

'The fuck was that?! She just sends the sword off on her stupid pig?! She's lucky I didn't find that piece of junk. I would have shoved it so far up her-- [Right on time, the fire alarm goes off. Who even knew the kitchen had one? Eren, for one, doesn't even know what a battery powered fire alarm is.]

Uhg. I hate this place.

Comments

[titanocidal]

I know how to cook! [He says a little too defensively.]

Everyone used to cook together, back during training. [So maybe Eren had started a few potato fires on accident in the past. Who hadn't? I mean really.

Even so, he steps back and lets Levi take over.]

More importantly... how are you feeling? What was it like over there?

[humanities_strongest]

[Eren he was kidnapped, not diseased and bedridden.]

Well I took a shit this morning so I'm feeling fine.

[Because that is what it important. Once he thinks the fire is gone he lifts the cover back from the pan and....well the bacon is...certainly done.]

Is this the pig bitch?

[Please say yes.]

[titanocidal]

I'm glad to hear everything went smoothly, sir. [He knows that's supposed to get harder for men as they get older, after all. Good for you, Captain.]

And, uh. No, it's not. But I like to imagine it is.

[He comes back over to stand by Levi, looking down at the pan.]

It was still sort of satisfying to watch it burn, right?

[humanities_strongest]

[He's glad someone understands his poop jokes.]

Let's do that without burning everything else.

[titanocidal]

[How could he call himself a part of the Levi-squad if he didn't appreciate a good poop joke?]

Yes, sir.

[And after a moment of just blankly looking at his over-crispy bacon and mulling it over, Eren finally decides to speak again.]

So I'm guessing you don't want to talk about the mirror side. And that's fine, but...

I just thought you should know that I kind of turned into a titan while you were away.

[humanities_strongest]

[Levi didn't look at him right away. He stared at the pan and slowly his head turned to face him.]

..."Kind of"?

[How the hell...]

Explain, now.

[titanocidal]

[Shit. He knew this was coming.]

Just the head and arm! It happened inside, so... I must have known not to do it all the way?

[This must be how normal teenagers feel when they have to come clean to their dad about crashing the family wagon.]

It was in self defense!