video/action.

[titanocidal]

[Eren's leaning against what would appear to be the kitchen counter. Fingers pinching the bridge of his nose, it takes him a moment to collect enough composure to look up at the feed. There's something cooking on the stove in the background, and by the way the pan pops and sizzles, one would almost suspect bacon. When he finally speaks, his words sound a little forced.]

Wow. It's been hectic around here lately, hasn't it? Is everyone alright? Everyone back where they should be? I got a little banged up before, but I--

...You know what? No. No. I can't just not say this: 

'The fuck was that?! She just sends the sword off on her stupid pig?! She's lucky I didn't find that piece of junk. I would have shoved it so far up her-- [Right on time, the fire alarm goes off. Who even knew the kitchen had one? Eren, for one, doesn't even know what a battery powered fire alarm is.]

Uhg. I hate this place.

Comments

video;

[bombshelled]

Is that what happened?! I didn't even know because some dumbass Queen bitch stuck me on the other side of a fucking mirror!

[ Yeah, Lana hates this place too, buddy. ]

video;

[titanocidal]

Pretty much. I thought the riddle seemed complicated because I'm not that sharp, but apparently no one else could figure it out either.

[Oh no - her hate is just making him feel more validated in his hate. It's like a hate snowball, rolling down the side of a snowy hate-hill.]

Why is everyone from Wonderland such an asshole?

video;

[bombshelled]

I know, right? They feel some selfish need to drag us here from our homes-- not like we had anything important to do there, right?-- and involve us in their lame-ass, stupid-ass games for what? Some fairytale!

[titanocidal]

I'm not saying that the place I come from is decent or anything - it's not - but, yeah. I've got stuff to do there. I can't get involved with this crap.

Do you know what it's like where I'm from? It's terrible. Humanity is this close to extinction, we don't have any food, and there are giant, mindless monsters shaped like naked people who are trying to eat us.

I'd still rather be there than here. At least that nightmare is my nightmare.

[bombshelled]

[ Lana is surprised by the description of guy's home, and her face shows it. She had a run in with a giant guy trying to eat everything, but he was more purple than naked. ]

Holy shit. That's fucked up.

video;

[itwouldbeatragedy]

[Kaneki really has no idea what his Mirror got up to while he was on the other side of the glass--which was really for the whole event. Although very little actually happened to him, he feels exhausted now that he's back.

That and he's just hungry. He's still trying to decide what to do about that.]

The whole thing seems pointless in retrospect. They could have taken care of things without bothering the rest of us.

video;

[titanocidal]

You-!

[Eren jolts a little upon first seeing the familiar face. Kaneki may not be number one on the list of people he wants to see right now, ...but he gets it. This must be the real one.]

I don't suppose you know anything about what your mirror got up to, huh?

[Strange as it sounds, Eren can't help but think that if he'd met his own mirror, it might have acted a lot like Kaneki's.]

video;

[itwouldbeatragedy]

[Eren's reaction is a hint that whatever Eren has to tell him, it isn't good news. Kaneki's immediately on edge and resists the urge to adjust his eye patch.]

...No. I'm sorry if he caused you any trouble.

[He fervently hopes his Mirror is just an obnoxious nerd.]

[titanocidal]

...No. It wasn't much trouble. [Maybe lying to him isn't the best idea? It just seems like the right thing to do right now.

And it's not like Eren can tell Kaneki the truth, right? 'Oh yeah. Lots of stuff happened, but hey. No worries man. The arm grew back!'

Yeah, right.]

I never did catch your name though? I'm Eren.

[strategisch]

You can't let the food smoke, Eren. It makes the thing beep.

[Holy shit Armin, have you even slept in the past 72 hours?]

[titanocidal]

[Is that what that sound is?! Shit.]

...Just let it go, Armin. Come eat some bacon and then go to bed.

[strategisch]

Noooooo. I still don't understand-- Why is blue orange? IS the truth a lie? If the eye's can't see, then infinity is... Nfnty. What does it mean?

[titanocidal]

Armin. Armin. Look at me.

You're starting to get that scary look on your face.

Let it go, man.

Action!

[humanities_strongest]

[EREN WHO LET YOU IN HERE ALONE????]

Are you cooking a turd in here?

[Like...for real why is there so much smoke and the smell of burning flesh? And what the hell is that sound--

Levi can't just stand in the doorway and watch this travesty take place, so he starts to move around, opening doors and windows to try and air the place out.]

The fuck are you trying to do?

[titanocidal]

Ca- CAPTAIN! You're here! And you're okay! [HE'S SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. THE REAL YOU.

So happy, that he stops trying to blot out the small kitchen fire for a fraction of a second too long. Oh god now the towel's on fire too!!!]

[humanities_strongest]

[He doesn't even answer you because YOU ARE LITERALLY GOING TO SET THIS PLACE ON FIRE. He shoves Eren out of the way as he takes the pan's cover over the flame to smother it.]

Do you even know how to cook? Or are you just trying to murder everyone?

[titanocidal]

I know how to cook! [He says a little too defensively.]

Everyone used to cook together, back during training. [So maybe Eren had started a few potato fires on accident in the past. Who hadn't? I mean really.

Even so, he steps back and lets Levi take over.]

More importantly... how are you feeling? What was it like over there?

video

[immutably]

[For the love of Maria, how did you get in a kitchen alone without Levi supervising? Erwin can see the disaster unfolding and oh god Eren, what did you do now?]

It seems you may be better served by keeping your mind on your cooking.

video

[titanocidal]

Comma- Captain Smith!

[...Oh wow. Way to go, Eren. Making yourself look like a HUGE DORK in front of someone you look up to.

...Maybe he can still salvage this.]

No, no. It's fine, sir! I like my food charred, like this.

video

[immutably]

Is that so? [Erwin is going to call your bluff, Eren. Go ahead, try your food, he's patient.]

Just try to keep the open fires to a minimum, we are guests here despite the circumstances.

[titanocidal]

Yes, sir.

[He tries waiting Erwin out, but when it's clear that it's not going to work, he hesitantly reaches for the bacon. Crunch. Crunch.

M-mm... Ashy goodness........

An attempt at smiling is made.]

I suppose you're right. I wouldn't want to hurt any of the other 'guests.'

video.

[kampfend]

[ well, there's a whole lot she could say here. about what the mirror side is like and how messed up everything was. but even then she doesn't really want to talk about it, so instead... ]

Eren. [ the beeping gets louder. ] Eren, the bacon.

[ unless you wanna burn down the whole mansion. which, honestly, she'd prefer if you didn't. she just got back. ]

video.

[titanocidal]

Yeah. [He's just standing there with his eyes shut tight.] Give me a sec.

[Deep breath, Eren. Deep breath.]

Okay.

[He knows not to ask Mikasa about the mirror side. Anything that needs saying will probably just come out naturally, so why force it? Instead, he gets to work putting out what has now turned into a small kitchen fire.]

Wow. This looks terrible. I don't suppose you want any, huh?

video.

[kampfend]

[ there's a slight amount of tension to her, then, just out of worry. that bacon is still definitely burning. that fire is definitely getting worse. eren. eren please.

but then he's putting it out and mikasa lets out a breath she hadn't known she'd been holding, shrugging once at his question. ]

I haven't eaten yet. [ and she's sure they'd eaten worse. ] Are you in the kitchen?

video.

[titanocidal]

Mhm. [If he was talking to anyone else, he'd probably consider giving such a short reply to be rude, but with Mikasa, it's different. He feels no pressure to force in extra bits of conversation with her.

While he's waiting for her to arrive, he'll start cooking some eggs, too. He's not sure what the food situation was like on the other side of the mirror, so it couldn't hurt to make sure she eats something more filling than a few strips of bacon.]