entranceway | Video

[When the feed flickers on there's something...not right about it. Everything's dark for a second and the screen shakes a little bit, and there's the muffled sound of someone's voice.]

I--! I think I got it! Now just--

[Something suddenly happens though - the device falls and there's glimpses of a tree and flashes of blue and red and then the ground and it's dark again. There's some groaning, and then the view flips to show Wirt, off-center, tied to a tree in the middle of the gnomes' territory. Naturally, he looks like he fits right in with that costume on, but he does not look like he's having a good time in the slightest.]

H-Hello? I-Is this...can anyone hear me? This is Wirt and I...I-I'm. These little bearded guys knocked me over and dragged me off into the woods a-and they all want to marry me, I think? They-- They've got me tied up and I could like really, really, really...j-just. Someone help? Help me? Please?

[It's becoming more and more apparent that Wirt doesn't realize he turned the video on too, and that people can see his sad, gnome-related predicament. He's also not good at throwing his voice and is just generally pretty hard to hear.]

Serious, c-can someone come untie me? Help!

[It takes him a couple of minutes, but eventually he manages to end the recording with his foot. Everyone will get a super good look at his mismatched shoes in the meantime.]

[ooc: Dipper and Mabel are going to come to the rescue, but anyone else is welcome to chime in and laugh at his predicament or offer sympathy or whatnot.]

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[Dipper doesn't bother responding. Just shouts at Mabel to grab the leaf blower and together they head off into the forest. Finding the gnome forest isn't hard, and it's not long before they find him. Dipper has the leaf blower, and Mabel has a shovel, and as they come up over the hill, Dipper pauses to dramatically shout.]

Hey, gnomes! [He revs the leaf blower engine.] Why don't you marry someone your own size?

[He frowns and glances at Mabel.]

....that line didn't sound nearly as good as it did in my head, did it?

Edited 2016-02-10 05:58 (UTC)

[Mabel grimaces as the words leave his mouth and shakes her head no.] Leave the quips to the professionals.

[that said, she's going to make a warrior woman battle cry and began knocking gnomes this way and that with her shovel so she can get to Wirt.] Cover me, Dipper! I'm goin' in!

[Wirt looks up at the shouts and gasps when he sees who's there, knocking gnomes over left and right.]

Dipper! M-Mabel! Help!

[He struggles a little more against the ropes, but mostly he seems stunned that someone actually came for him.]

It wasn't that terrible.

[Yes it was. Dipper follows her, aiming the leaf blower at any gnome that tries to get too close. He turns it to reverse to suck a gnome into the tube before aiming the gnome at a handful that's trying to form up and come at Mabel from behind.]

I'm pretty sure Wirt's the one tied to the tree. Kinda hard to tell, though.

[He looks over at Wirt and smirks, clearly just being an asshole rather than actually confused.]

You sure? 'Cause that skinny one over there kinda- [she bursts out laughing midway through a golf swing with her shovel.] Okay, okay. I'm getting him.

[with reckless abandon, she kicks a gnome into one of its brothers and drives the shovel into the tree to sever the rope.] Hi-yah!

Edited 2016-02-13 05:08 (UTC)

[Wirt makes a face when she pretends to mistake him for another gnome, but he wipes it off his face as soon as she comes over. He knows it's coming, but he still lets out a startled yelp when the rope is cut and he stumbles a little now that he doesn't have the tree supporting him. He catches himself though, and scoops up his network device off the ground.]

O-Oh my gosh, thank you! I-I've been stuck out here for days! I--

[There are still gnomes and they're clearly not happy about all of this.]

We...W-We should go. [And with that, Wirt's already running, though he does make himself stop and make sure the twins are following. He probably shouldn't abandon them with gnomes after they saved him from holy matrignomey.]

It's okay, gnome king. We're experts at this.

[Which doesn't mean he's not all for getting out of here. But he isn't worrying. He blows away a few gnomes, waiting for Mabel to finish up.]

[Mabel wallops a gnome what good as it tries to follow Wirt and hits a few more hard enough that the rest realize they aren't gonna get anywhere with shovel girl and leaf blower lad running around and start scattering in circles to regroup.] Yeah, for us gnomes are sort of like really weird bearded rats, except less adorable.

[Wirt should probably argue, but he's just sort of given up at this point. How can he argue that he's not gnome king when the gnomes literally tried to make him their monarch? He does make a face though.]

Great. Weirdly bearded rats tried to marry me. I feel so much better about everything.

[Sarcasm King might have been a little more accurate.]

Don't worry, they tried to marry Mabel too. It's not just that you look like one of them already. Probably.

I mean... probably not. [she shrugs, glancing aside to where the gnomes have scurried off.] I respect that they're open about marriage though. Good on them, being progressive little hairy guys.

I...I don't know if that's really progressive as much as just. Not caring who their bride is? I mean, it's starting to sound like they'd take like, anybody.

[Preteen girls, teenage boys dressed as gnomes. Wirt's getting the impression they'd probably marry a squirrel if they could make it cooperate.]

Also it would probably be nice if they were progressive enough to not kidnap their brides. [He idly points the leaf blower at some of the remaining gnomes.] Can we get going or are we waiting for Wirt to throw the bouquet?

[Mabel wallops another gnome into the treeline where it lands tangled in the branches and begins shaking its fist at her. She seems very satisfied with that.] Nah, I'm good, and hey! Wirt finally gets the joke.

Oh my gosh, you guys are like, the worst rescue team ever.

[He's embarrassed and making faces at both of them, but...they did save him, so he lets it go.]

...U-Um. Thanks though. Y-Yeah, we should probably-- we should leave.

If you can't handle a little teasing, you probably shouldn't dress like a gnome and then get kidnapped as their gnome bride. You gotta admit, it's kind of hilarious.

[He grabs Wirt's arm and starts running.] Let's get back to the shack before they regroup!

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