[text to the masses]

[rosswood]

happy singles awareness day
did you know that saint valentine was full of shit
i mean maybe he wasn't but theres no way to know since theres like no actual history on this guy
there are records of three different saint valentines
though i guess the one thing thats consistent is that pretty much all of them died horribly

anyway there's your exciting earth history fact of the day
have fun

[Alex, for his part, is currently planning on getting at least a little buzzed tonight. Despite the apparent bitterness of that mass-network text, he's not technically single. His SO just happens to not be here. Hence, drinking. Hence, bitterness.

Hence, that fun Valentine's Day Historical Fact.

Anyone looking for him will find him at the bar.]

Comments

[punful]

it's a grumpy deer-shaped monster with antlers.

i guess i'll have to take your word for it.

[rosswood]

sounds like a reindeer yeah
minus the grumpy part i'm not really sure where that plays in

i mean you've been through the ones here
they suck too

[punful]

the almost freezing to death part wasn't so great, but i'm pretty sure that's not normal.

[rosswood]

yeah no
that's not

how does that even work??
you don't have SKIN

[punful]

exactly. skeletons aren't supposed to get cold. it was some kinda...i dunno. like a mini event. bunch of us morons freezing to death, even when sitting right next to a fire.

[rosswood]

jesus
you didn't die did you
people seem to do that

[punful]

nope. i'm still five for five.

[Yay.]

[rosswood]

wow what a relief
well keep trying not to die then
or something idk

[punful]

same to you i guess.

[rosswood]

thanks jeeves

[punful]

so i'm jeeves now? alright, i'll take it.

[rosswood]

well it was that or skeletor

[punful]

wow. racist.

[rosswood]

;'P

[text]

[slapfight]

[YOU'RE LEARNING ALEX.]

That's what Steven told me, which was how I learned of Camp Pining Hearts to begin with.

I suppose I could spend more time in Wonderland's media archives...

[text]

[rosswood]

[SLOWLY BUT SURELY.]

heartily recommended
though i don't know how good wonderland's tastes are
hopefully better than your average soap opera junk

[text]

[slapfight]

it's not as if there's much to compare it to. it's all probably mindless and time-wasting and written by clods who have no idea what a partnership dynamic should look like.

[text]

[rosswood]

you have no idea how well you just described about 90% of all media

honestly there are
so
many
love triangles

[text]

[slapfight]

Love triangles?

[text]

[rosswood]

the most boring uninventive repetitive uninteresting shit imaginable, i swear

person a meets person b
person b expresses romantic interest
person c shows up and also wants to get in person a's pants
cue romantic "tension" spoonfed to us by uninspired "artists" who can't tell a good plot from a trite one

[This pretentious drivel coming from a man who unironically wrote the line "stuck in a loop of unhappiness".]

[text]

[slapfight]

Assuming one of them isn't utterly useless like Paulette, why would "person a" have to choose between them? A three person dynamic is even stronger... though likely more unstable. At least at first...

[text]

[rosswood]

congrats
you officially have more brain cells than 99% of all hollywood film producers

[text]

[slapfight]

Well, that part was never in doubt. I'm more intelligent than 99% of my own race, much less sub-par races

[it's like you can hear her derisively snorting through the text.]

[text]

[rosswood]

[RIIIIIGHT he keeps forgetting she's kind of a literalist.]

right right right alright let me rephrase
you officially have a better sense of dramatic tension than most hollywood film producers

[text]

[slapfight]

[she's a precious soul and earth idioms confuse her. said the genius.]

Thank you.

[that's what she should say right??? to a compliment??? Earth people are weird.]