entranceway | 002 ↯ video

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002 ↯ video

Um. All right, no one panic, but I may have underestimated these magic closets of ours and accidentally... done something.

_{[Anders' voice, sounding contrite. In the background, an unremitting stream of noise threatens to drown him out--it's meowing, rising and falling at different pitches like a tone-deaf a cappella group trying to harmonize and failing miserably.

The camera settles unsteadily on the hem of his robes before he sets it down and steps back. The source of the caterwauling then becomes apparent: in his arms are four young cats of various shapes and color, two tucked under each arm.

By the sounds of it, more are audible off-screen. Many, many more.]}

I wasn't thinking... Well, I was, I was thinking how much more homey this place would be with a cute cat or two, and then--and then they were just there, and everywhere, and now there are a few more than two. If you have cat allergies, stay off the fourth floor.

_{[As if on cue, a kitten on stubby legs capers across the floor behind him. Anders, noticing movement on the screen, squints closely for a second, then looks for the real thing over his shoulder.]}

One's making a run for it. Alistair! Alistair, catch it, my hands are full.

_{[From somewhere off among the caterwauling comes a response, the owner appearing shortly after--]}

I see it!

_{[Alistair runs past in the background, two cats under one arm and what is presumably another squirming about down his shirt. He comes back into view a moment later, the escapee cradled in his free hand. Shoving the kitten in Anders' face--where it proceeds to bat at his nose--he frowns at the other man.]}

This is getting ridiculous. We can't keep track of all of them. Is anyone coming to-- Ow!

_{[The yelp comes as the squirming under his shirt grows more energetic and with a slightly panicked look Alistair disappears from view again, kittens in tow. The only hint as to his fate comes as an increase in the mewling and the sound of fabric ripping mercifully out of sight.]}

I'm getting to that part!

_{[Anders stares after him, eyebrows drawn up in alarm, before dragging his eyes back to the camera.]}

Uhhh, it's okay, everything's fine, we have things completely under control, but as you can tell, we're in possession of some cats who could use a loving home! Soft, furry cats! Adorable, see? They're domesticated, easy to care for, and make excellent house pets. That one doesn't appear to be a fan of Alistair's shirt, but some are more fashion conscious than others.

I don't know if I can take care of them all. If you'd like to take one, we'll be giving them away free of charge in the ballroom. First floor, you can't miss it! _{[Anders then points a finger sternly, though the effect is mitigated by the wide-eyed kittens holding onto his arm.]} But no funny business. If you consider cats a delicacy, I'm warning you now, we're both heavily armed. People wanting to make mittens out of their fur need not apply.

_{(OOC: Come find the log over here!)}

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_{[Hook likes to show off his chest hair, Anders like to imagine a heaven populated entirely with cats, no judgement, this is a safe place. Everyone's allowed their little idiosyncrasies, even the kitten, who hasn't yet figured out there are more comfortable parts of the body to lay on than a hunk of cold metal.]}

Mine, too, but I'm thankful it was this and not poisonous snakes, or badgers, or something similar. Note to self: be careful what you wish for.

_{[But he can't be too sorry. He has a good feeling things are going to work out just fine, and that feeling brings forth a smile.]}

Take it from me, cats make an excellent gift. I had one given to me and he turned out to be a steadfast companion.

_{[Anders sounds proud when talking about Ser Pounce-a-lot. There's no better cat around than good old Ser Pounce.]}

( again, Hook cannot fathom why Anders was wishing for cats. he's a taken man these days so he wouldn't wish for anything lewd but honestly. mountains of treasure, piles of gold, some ~~tacky~~ jewelry... he'd wish for practically anything before he wished for cats.

it does seem to be working out, though. if there needed to be a flood of cats, at least they're all finding homes. even cats deserved that. )

I'll see to it that it finds a home. If I can't, I'll bring him to... ( he lifts eyebrows, expectant. unless Anders wants to go by cat fanatic, a name would be good. )

Anders, a mage and Grey Warden. The pleasure's all mine.

_{[Tacking his occupations to his introduction makes him feel a little less like a crazy person who sits on the couch in his underwear all day and wishes for random items out of the closet. He hasn't gone that native yet.]}

And I'd owe you if you did! Let me know if it doesn't work out and I'll figure something, though it might already be attached to you.

_{[Look at it catnapping so sweetly. Who could turn away that face?]}

I know what a mage is, but you lost me with the last bit.

( he will attempt to not hold the magic thing against a stranger. he's learned rather begrudgingly that not all magic users are soulless, murderous monsters. very begrudgingly, really.

he's better than he used to be, at least. comes with the reforming villain thing, he tries not to expect the worst of people until he's witnessing it. )

It's attached to sleeping, I think.

( he refuses to entertain the cat likes him, or at least, he refuses to admit it out loud. the white fluff is the first cat ever to seem to take to him, which makes the pirate fonder than he wants to be. )

Grey Wardens? _{[Anders turns his eyes skyward in thought. How to keep this short and sweet?]} I haven't heard of Wardens in other worlds, so I'm tempted to say they're a warrior order unique to mine. You take some life-long oaths and fight monsters for a living, and there's some occasional saving of the world in there. Alistair--that would be my partner here--and I are both members.

_{[It's difficult to give the subject of the Wardens the seriousness and solemnity it deserves when there are kittens to moon over. Anders ends up smiling and shrugging it off. Spreading the word about the order is hardly as important in Wonderland, anyway.]}

No, no, you just have to learn to decipher the feline language! Cats are picky creatures. They won't sleep just anywhere.

_{[Hook, you've been anointed. Enjoy your special privileges as Official Cat Bed.]}

Alistair, is it?

( he grins at that, reminiscing slightly. he may or may not remember ~~bothering~~ meeting Alistair. good to make the connection. anyway, more importantly... )

Mate, it is using steel as a pillow. I'm not sure I buy picky.

( if most cats were picky, then this one clearly isn't. )

_{[Alistair is a popular topic of conversation today! Who knew cats and the king of Ferelden would garner so much interest.]}

You know him?

_{[His gaze reflects mild curiosity. Being a bit of a gossip at heart, Anders always enjoys hearing how people know each other--and in a small place like this, paths are bound to cross.

The look melts into a smirk as the man continues to protest the kitten's choice of perch.]}

Ah, but not every piece of steel is attached to a person. So. What are you going to name it? For your troubles, I'd think it's only fair naming privileges go to you.

Ah, yes. In the library, quite scandalized by whatever he was reading. He never did tell me but clearly it was a page turner.

( Hook assumes it's a bodice ripper of some sort and really, why was he reading it in public then.

the pirate looks down at the snoring creature, shaking his head. it reminds him of the sweetly stupid Charming, which is both an insult and compliment all at once. still, he's aggressively pretending he doesn't care about cats, which means he can't mention he does have a name in mind. )

Cat will serve until someone things of a better one.

_[Gasp!]

Alistair reading something scandalous? This I've got to hear. But hold on a second, you can't just let your cat go without a name. That's like...

_{[He waves a hand, struggling to come up with an adequate comparison that captures just how painfully dull and uninspired it is to refer to a cat by the name of its species.]}

That's like naming your pet rock Rocky or me Mage. It should have a proper name. If you're a fan of conventions, call it Snowdrop like the white cat that's in the Alice in Wonderland novels. That's better than nothing.

I wish I could tell you more, but you'd have to ask him. I've never seen a man so rapt on a book before.

( Alistair said it was about a lady knight doing flips in armor but who believes that, right? )

Oy, not anything to do with Snow. ( which is hypocritical because he's already half-named it after Charming, he just won't admit it. ) I'll leave the naming to someone more qualified.

Ooh, I hope there were naughty pictures.

_{[He chuckles in a vaguely ominous way--make no mistake, this is getting filed away for future reference, thank you very much to your contribution to the Make Alistair Miserable fund--before raising an eyebrow at the anti-snow vehemence.]}

All right, so clearly not a fan of cold climates. Just don't decide on Kitty. That's a little too on the nose, if you ask me.

_{[Anders knows these things. He fancies he has fairly good taste with cat names.]}

Do you have some necessities on hand? I hope you're prepared to take sleeping beauty there outside when it wakes up in case, you know, nature calls.

I didn't see, but considering the look on his face, I suspect there might have been.

( it's so nice to have an ally in bothering Alistair. he didn't even realize he wanted that. but apparently he did. )

No, I suppose I don't, but the closet can fill in those odds and ends, I'm sure.

Sounds like a good read.

_{[Anders' smile takes on a sly quality. It's a promising lead and one he'll keep in mind. Maybe it's a book he might want to check out if it can fluster even a hardened Warden.]}

You never know, you might warm up to your new companion given time. Having company while this backward place does its tricks isn't the worst thing that could happen.

_{[Is it?]}

I'm not sure owning a cat has ever done anyone any favors, but I suspect you'll disagree with me on that one.

( he's basically the most begrudging cat owner in the entire world. but Anders isn't totally wrong... that company is what is most appealing about the stupid creature. )

I do! My cat led darkspawn off my trail once. Wouldn't have been able to catch them off guard if it hadn't been for him.

_{[Using his cat as bait to get the jump on foes clearly isn't beyond this enthusiastic cat owner.]}

And the ladies love them. They're a great way to break the ice.

_{[See? Perks.]}

( did this guy just suggest using cats as bait? ? ? Anders are you really a fan of cats after all? Hook doesn't even like them and he's not sure he'd do that. )

Your cat is possibly the most proactive I've ever heard of the feline race. I'm sure he's the exception, not the rule.

And while I'm certain I've already throughly broken the ice with my lady, I shall keep that in mind.

_{[Maybe he did, maybe he didn't--his jocular smile certainly isn't giving any hints. First rule of Warden club: what happens in the Deep Roads stays in the Deep Roads.]}

He is a bit on the unusual side, I'll allow.

_{[A prince among cats, truly. If Anders could be said to have a true love at the moment, let's be honest, it's probably the cat.

Hearing that this half-dressed, hook-wielding debonair has evaded single status has Anders giving the screen a sly, knowing look. Oh, so someone has a lady already, do they? Good on you, ser, good on you.]}

Ahhh, and is this lady here with you? How does she feel about cute, fuzzy animals?

( yes, just look at him, how could he possibly be single! ignore the fact that he totally was, and for about three hundred years at that. now he's definitely not though!!! #HappilyTaken #Mr.EmmaSwan )

I've never asked, but if I had to guess she'd probably be a fan. Her boy has a dog and she seems to enjoy it.

_{[It must be the chest hair. Everyone loves the chest hair.]}

Maybe you'd win some points bringing home an equally charming cat? It's already attached to you, and a cat isn't any more difficult to care for than a dog.

_{[He raises both eyebrows. Wink wink, nudge nudge.]}

( somewhere between the chest hair and the incredibly handsome face, he'd managed to snag one, despite his personality. it really was remarkable if you think about it. )

I'm sure I'll find a place for it. Don't you worry.

( go ahead and think it's for the lady. it's better for his reputation. )

Try not to think so much about cats from now on, mate, the last thing we need is a second swarm of these creatures.

( pirates are apparently allergic to goodbyes, they need to mock you instead. but this is an indication that Hook is planning on the conversation being over. )

_{[All right, all right, you win, Hook. He can't expect everyone to take on the burden of a pet, but the eternally optimistic side of him had hoped he could ferret out a few soft touches in the crowd and entice them to keep a cat or two.

Whatever the man chooses to do with the kitten, Anders feels he can trust that it won't come to harm, at least. And if it doesn't work out, the man knows his name and how to contact him.]}

You have my word I'll be more careful next time.

_{[But his smile remains blithe as he takes one of his kitten's paws in his fingers and waves goodbye. A swarm of furry sweethearts isn't the worst thing in the world, is it? You're missing out, Hook.]}

We should get back to it. You know where to find me if you run into any more cats that have gotten into any places they shouldn't be.

( what he's doing with the kitten is really not as secret as he makes it out to be. but if you ever see him with white fur on him, Anders, it's probably just coincidence! )

I will that.

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002 ↯ video

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