ＶＩＤＥＯ;

[villainously]

( the video opens with a pair of bright blue eyes, far more fur than any one creature could need, and a practically thunderous purr. it's not surprising, seeing as Hook has tried about 5 times to set the thing up to record and the damn cat keeps knocking it over. his company is painfully exposed as he scoops up the purring beast and puts it on the floor.

no he's not going to mention or talk about the cat. that's not important, all right? thanks to that bloke with cat fantasies practically all of Wonderland has a cat. that's not what he's trying to talk about.

the pirate looks tired, but anyone that knows him knows that's a 24-7 thing for him. he's been tired since he arrived, months ago. that doesn't seem to be stalling anytime soon. not sleeping doesn't help, but his busywork does, at least a little. busywork for a pirate means making maps, which means... )

Is there a proper map of this place? I haven't spotted one yet. If there's not, I've been considering starting on a draft. It won't do us any good once the place is tits up on these events, but it's not a horrible thing to have on hand.

( he rubs at his forehead, as Dave jumps back up onto his desk and paws at the many pens scattered there. )

I'd ask for a star chart while I was at it, but speaking of things going tits up, the stars here are absolutely mad. I don't remember them being like this when I arrived, does anyone know what happened to them?

( the stars running wild bothers him more than he cares to admit. stars shouldn't move nightly... it's utterly ridiculous. Dave seems to have decided that the first eight times he was put on the floor for messing with the camera were just a cute joke, and tries to nuzzle it with more of those dementedly loud purrs. the pirate sighs and plucks it back off the table to the floor. )

If anyone has experience with cartography, I suppose I'd take the help. Making a map from scratch is difficult.

Comments

video;

[fatherlesskind]

[Oh, hey it's this guy again. Alistair knows very little about map making or what magic is making the stars weird but after last week he knows a thing or two about cats causing trouble. And while he can agree a map would be a useful thing to have that's not going to stop him attempting to needle Killian in lieu of being useful.]

Aww, look at you two! I knew it, you really are just a big softie, aren't you?

[Not that Alistair didn't end up with a new furry friend himself. But. He's never whined about there being insulting stories written about him - stories he still needs someone to help him track down. And Purrlock is sleeping so until the cat wakes up he doesn't have to admit to anything.]

[villainously]

( LOOK ALISTAIR YOU DON'T GET IT OKAY. THOSE STORIES ARE REALLY OFFENSIVE. and he may or may not be hiding his shame from you in particular. look nobody needs to read Peter Pan, he's keeping it out of everyone's reach. )

I'm a pussy magnet, I appreciate your noticing.

( the tone of his voice says he doesn't appreciate it that much. )

Any relevant thoughts? If you want to talk to the cat, you're welcome to come and take it and have a rousing conversation. The two of you would get on swimmingly.

[fatherlesskind]

[It's a classic man, don't be stingy just because it makes you look bad. Or he'll find the Disney movie somehow and watch that instead.

Also that? Went right over his head. He does scoff all the same.]

You got one, Anders had a room full of them. Who's really the pussy magnet here?

[Sticking up for a bro even when he has no idea, that's him.]

If you want to talk to me again you can just say, I won't mind. You don't have to pretend you just want me to distract your cat for you.

[So no, he doesn't have any relevant thoughts. Who's surprised?]

[villainously]

( no he will be stingy thank you. Alistair you have nothing to lose because you were never cool, but he's got a reputation to uphold here and he'll never hear the end of it if his Disney past ends up in the wrong hands. or anyone's hands.

he vaguely remembers the chap that was handing out the cats and had enough of a conversation to guess that's who Alistair was talking about. his lewdness is apparently getting him nowhere, but he laughs at the assertion anyway. )

Apparently he walks around thinking of such things all day. You're right, he's more a magnet than I.

( Anders you really are a pussy magnet. wear the title with pride. )

You know, if I wanted a conversation with you, I'd have started one. ( which he didn't. he wasn't even going out of his way to be a pain today, and Al you still gotta come distract him with kitty talk. ) You're not so hard to find, I just need to listen for ardent whispers directed at books.

[fatherlesskind]

[WEARING ALL BLACK DOES NOT MAKE YOU COOL. While he is totally cool. And has a sense of humour which is even more important. A good sense of humour. Unlike some people.

Is he missing something here? He thinks he might be missing something here. The way Mr Sticks-His-Nose-Where-It's-Not-Welcome is laughing definitely has him thinking he's missing something. But, unable to figure out what, he'll just go with it.]

Good. I am right. Yes.

[He... wasn't expecting to be agreed with honestly. Or to hear those rare words 'you're right'. He definitely is right though. He's right a lot. So.]

I thought you were shy. I bet you have trouble making friends, don't you? [Alistair will try and be enough of a pain for them both, since Killian apparently doesn't like talking about pussy. It beats talking about other things that shall not be named. Or mentioned.] Ooh, now that's a fancy word. Did that one come up in your book, in between talking about your pretty cornflower blue eyes?

[villainously]

You sound as if that's the first time someone has agreed with you in decades.

( you're right, Alistair, you are missing something. the pirate isn't going to tell you what it is, though. of course not. )

I'm not sure where you got that idea, what with me publicly asking the whole place for information on maps. ( Killian Jones doesn't have a shy bone in his body, Alistair, try again! ) That's right, I did get my vocabulary from books, mate. Maybe if you spent more time reading them than talking to them, you'd have a bit more of one yourself.

( and you'd know what he meant by pussy magnet, too. )

[fatherlesskind]

Of course it's not! I just didn't expect you to agree with me.

[And it may be that no one has agreed with him in months. Maybe. But not decades. He's not nearly as old as Killian thanks.]

Maybe you only like talking to people about boring things. [As important and useful as a good map is, map-making just seems like it wouldn't be all that exciting once you were past the exploration stage.] I read plenty! And my vocabulary is just fine. I just don't need to show it off to make myself feel better.

[Even if some terms escape him. It's not his fault he hasn't read the right kind of books for that.]

WOW THIS GOT HORRIBLY LOST I'M SO SORRY!!!

[villainously]

( oh honey he doesn't think you're old that's why it's insulting. )

Cartography is quite a complicated practice, mate. Though I imagine it does seem dull to someone that doesn't understand it. ( he shrugs. he gets it, Alistair. you're pretty, not smart. )

I've never had need to show off my vocabulary, it's just a lovely bonus included with the rest of me.

np!

[fatherlesskind]

[Excuse you, how is him not being ancient insulting?]

Just because I don't know the specifics of map making I'm not stupid. I was educated by the Chantry. I studied all kinds of things.

[So he's a little defensive on that point despite Killian having not outright said anything about it. It doesn't mean anything.]

So that's one thing you have going for you. Do you have any other good points? Anything at all?

[villainously]

( if you're basically twelve and it's still been ten years since someone agreed with you......... cmon man!! it was clever, ok! )

I'm not sure what the Chantry is but good on you, I suppose.

( someone is very defensive about that, apparently. )

A whole list, and I'm sure you're partial to a few, you're just cross and defensive and refuse to admit it.

( he's handsome and charming and knows how to run a ship, what more could a man possibly need? )

[fatherlesskind]

[Uh huh. Keep telling yourself that.]

It's the- Oh, forget it. [Since he doubts Killian cares what the Chantry is either.] I'm not refusing to admit anything. I can't see anything to be partial to, map-making and all.

[But is he a prince? No? Well then.]

[villainously]

Then you're blind as well as lacking in vocabulary, just for starters.

( because he is handsome af, Alistair, and U KNOW IT. also gross, no he's not a prince, who would want to be??? )

[fatherlesskind]

I can see you just fine unfortunately. Have you ever considered getting new wardrobe? Something with some colour in it? It could work for you.

[Uh, no?? No, he does not know it. But fair call on the prince thing. It is pretty gross.]

[villainously]

Do you often take such interest in the wardrobe of other men? I'm curious.

( and he wears color, okay... like, villainous red, and maybe a touch of contemplative (very dark) navy. so there. )

[fatherlesskind]

If I'm forced to look at them, why not?

[Ignoring the fact that Alistair was the one to decide he needed to bother Killian. Details. As is the fact his own wardrobe... leaves a bit to be desired as well. At least it doesn't scream 'I want parents to hide their children from me'.]

[villainously]

Forced, were you? ( Hook somehow missed the shackles and chains that brought you here to bother him, Alistair. )

Just for the record, before you get your heart set on things that shall never be, I am happily taken.

( now he's just being a shit again, sorry Al. )

[fatherlesskind]

What? [That yelp is just a tad high pitched for Alistair's dignity. What there is of it. And the spluttering that follows doesn't help.] That's not- I'm not- Why would you even say that? I don't care if you're seeing someone!

[You'd think he'd be used to comments like that by now. Being away from Zevran's influence for so long must have left him vulnerable to being scandalised. Good thing he's getting practice again then.]

[villainously]

You don't? You just saunter in for my attention for purely innocent reasons, while taking meticulous note of what I'm wearing?

( oh Alistair. why did you have to give him the exact reaction he wanted. he grins a bit like a cat that has cornered his mouse. )

I don't blame you. As I've said, I'm quite a catch. I really am flattered, but try not to let this rejection ruin you.

[fatherlesskind]

I don't want your attention! Or care what you're wearing!

[Or he did come seeking attention and comment on his wardrobe but only so he could annoy Killian. Turn about is so not fair-play here.]

What you are is an ass. And I don't know how you managed to get anyone to like you but she has my sympathies.

[villainously]

( turnabout is always fair play with pirates, Alistair. it's not his fault he's better at being annoying! )

Of course not. It's absolutely coincidental, silly me. ( he waves a hand. Emma probably does deserve some sympathy, frankly. ) Let me know if you decide to take interest in what I'm actually discussing.

[fatherlesskind]

Ugh.

[He's done. He's going. You win round two as well Killian. But he'll get back at you one day. Just you wait.

...And keep waiting. It might take a while.]