[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

Huh? Well! You're not Captain Greenbeard!

[Greg's face looms large in the frame as he stares at the device, squinting a little.]

A calculator? Aw, man. Am I doing taxes?

[His mom and dad always use a calculator for taxes. Theirs looks a little different though. It doesn't have letters on it!]

Hmmmm. How do I--

cd gfrgrfrseirow

--taxed! Taxed taxed taxed. Numbers numbers numbers.

rewtr4qedav

Eureka! Twenty five bajillion!

[He's gotta show Wirt all the taxes he did! Uhhh.]

Wirt?

Wirt?

Oh no. That brother o' mine. Where could he have gotten to this time?

Comments

video forever!

[mviw]

[Awwww, look at this kid. He's so cute!

Wait, did he say 'Wirt'? He said Wirt! This is Wirt's little brother!!]

--Hey there!

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

[??? Who said that?]

Hello?

[He looks up.]

Are you a talking tree?

[That's probably real now.]

[mviw]

[OH NO, HE'S TOO CUTE...but today will probably be a long one.]

Uhh, no, I'm Stanford. Look down at the thing you're holding! It's like a phone that lets you see someone when you talk to them.

video

[brainmeme]

Probably off getting kidnapped by gnomes again.

[Now that she knows, she is never letting that go.]

I mean, you're Wirt's brother? He's here somewhere. I play music with him sometimes. Oh man, I bet you know so many embarrassing secrets about him.

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

[Greg's figured out the device enough by now to know he can talk to people with it.]

I know some secrets! Like how cats can't land on their feet if you put toast on them!

[Hahahaha!]

Just kidding! That's a Rock Fact!

[brainmeme]

Uh, a fact about rocks? [But it wasn't about rocks?]

I know all about cats. I am one. All the cat secrets are right there in my dome. Can't fool me!

Video

[singloversing]

[Oh my gosh. That's Greg. Greg's back. Wirt stares at the message wondering if he's really awake but no, that's Greg.]

Greg?! Greg! Greg, where are you? I-I mean, you probably don't know where you are but like-- what's around you? I'll come find you, just...just stay put, okay?

[He's a lot more frantic than Greg is, but...that's also true one hundred percent of the time.]

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

Wirt! There you are! You're on the little TV! You're famous now!

[Hooray! They can wear sunglasses now!]

[singloversing]

Wait, what? I-- Greg, no. Focus. Where are you?

[This is going to take forever. Wirt's sure of it.]

Uhhhh can you see a really really big house around somewhere? Kinda like Endicott's?

video

[determinedest]

[Frisk, in all honesty, is currently a barely-functional mess. Internally, anyway. But if they're good at anything, they're good at locking down their own issues for the sake of other people's.

There's a new kid in Wonderland. They don't recognize him at all. But they do recognize the name he spouts.]

Does your brother wear a tall red hat? Like an upside-down ice-cream cone?

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

He does sometimes! It's really pointy!

Have you seen him? His name is Wirt!

[Oops, he said that already.]

[video]

[punful]

[Oh my god that's the smallest human he has ever seen. Has it...has it finally happened? Has he met a human shorter than he is?]

[Truly this is a joyous day.]

well hey, kid. i like your teapot. wirt's here somewhere. i bet he's looking for you.

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

Thanks! I'm an elephant! Prrrrrrb!

[That was an elephant trumpet.]

Are you a skeleton? Did you forget your pumpkin?

[video]

[wriggedywrecked]

Well, you are...you are like a five-year-old, aren't you.

[Good fucking lord what is this, Wonderland can't be picking up toddlers now, that's just. That's messed up. This kid is way too small and young and is wearing a goddamn teapot on his head and he's probably gonna get eaten by zombies the next time they show up Jesus Christ.]

So your brother's name is...Wwwwwirt. [What the FUCK kind of a name is Wirt.] He's probably here? Things just sure as h...hhhheck, just kinda, just work out like that.

[Fuck he can't go around feeling Feelings about tiny stupid annoying goddamn children wearing teapots but ugggghhhhhhHHHHHKHHHFHHFKDSJAL.]

Hey, is someone coming to g-get you?

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

I'm five and a half!

[He thinks. He doesn't always remember right.]

Uhhhhh, I don't know! Wirt was with me before, and everybody says he's here, so he might be!

video

[ateherdirt]

Greg?

[She doesn't know why she's so surprised. Maybe because there's never anyone this young in Wonderland.]

When did you get here? And where are you? Has Wirt found you yet?

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

Beatrice! You aren't a bird anymore! Did you make a wish too?

[Greg looks around, as if he can't remember where he is.]

I'm in the woods. Wirt's here! Everybody says so.

video;

[krmvgivv]

You're Wirt's brother? [A beat.] ...suddenly not judging the gnome hat as much.

[That definitely is a teapot on his head.]

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

I am Wirt's little brotheroo, yep!

[He isn't sure what judging a hat is. He's gonna try it.]

I am judging your hat!

video;

[agentxthirteen]

[ Oh, no. Another kid. Why does this place kidnap children?

At least she recognizes something for this one. ]

Wirt.

You're his... little brother?

[ Of course he's Wirt's little brother. Look at how tiny he is, Sharon. Damn it, why does this place bring kids here? ]

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

Yeah! You know him too? He's so popular here! That was fast!

[He wasn't gone that long.]

video;

[powerofmabel]

[GASP] You must be the Greg I've heard so much about!

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

You've heard of me? Really?

[Gasp.]

Oh my Gosh. I must be famous now!

[video]

[everyonecanbekind]

YOU HAVE LOST YOUR BROTHER?!

WORRY NOT! THE GREAT PAPYRUS SPECIALIZES IN FINDING LOST BROTHERS! IT IS ONE OF MANY VERY GREAT THINGS ABOUT ME! NYEH HEH HEH!

[video forever]

[drummeintheface]

Whoa! Another skeleton! Do you know the other skeleton? And do you wear a pumpkin?

[Important questions.]

How do you find lost brothers so good?