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[ A few things to know about Kurt Weller:

1) He's not easily amused by people he doesn't know well, so good luck getting him to crack a smile without a little effort.

2) He takes things a little too seriously sometimes. Sometimes.

3) It bears repeating: he doesn't smile easily.

All that being said, he's not a completely stoic hardass incapable of ever having fun, and it just makes those moments all the more hilarious when they occur. Like now.

So, he's broadcasting to you all today, with a completely ridiculous lesson. ]

I was hungry late last night and wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. [ Ordinarily, he would just make one himself, but not at 3am. ] Didn't feel like going to the kitchen. So the closet gave me this. This is wrong. Which means there are people out there from other worlds thinking this is how it's done. [ ...as though the correct technique for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches was of high importance to them... ]

[ So he's asked the closet for a jar of peanut butter, a jar of jelly, and a loaf of bread. He props his phone up and proceeds to make it the correct way, with the peanut butter on both sides of the bread and the jelly in the middle. ] You put the jelly between the peanut butter, otherwise it's gonna soak through the bread.

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[ He enjoys throwing people off a little by playing this so straight. ]

Unfair, sure. But necessary. Besides, the peanut butter's the best part.

I mean, that's a bit debatable. Peanut butter's the sticky spreadable stuff that keeps it all together, but I don't know that it's the best.

Now here's the real question, what kind of jelly in the middle of those two sides of PB?

Grape. Definitely grape. It's a classic. [ He could probably be okay with strawberry jelly in a pinch, but grape is his preference. ]

You're really specific about your peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, huh? See strawberry's where it's at or some funky berry like a blackberry. They create some tasty jellies. You can't limit yourself, man.

I know what I like. [ He says it casually, but there's a strange seriousness to his tone still. Part of his love for a PB&J is the nostalgia of it, the reminder of better days so many years ago. ] I'm willing to try out a few other flavors, though.

...blackberry?

A man of strong preferences. [Peter nods with a little smirk on his face still. He laughs and then nods as the realization seems to hit the man.] Yeah. Blackberry. My Aunt May can't really cook very well. I love her, but it's... y'know, just the truth. [Uncle Ben would never complain to her though except that one time when Peter ate everything in the fridge. Neither would Peter.]

When she has some blackberries though? Best jelly.

[ He's not quite as serious in his convictions about sandwiches as he gives off, but he's having fun pretending to be. The other man seems to be taking it lightly, which is the point of this, really. Just to have a good laugh. ]

I think I could break with tradition and try that. Gotta be from your Aunt May, though. [ He finally smiles a little. ] I'm Kurt Weller, by the way.

Yeah. Wish I could get some of that through the closets.

[He smirks, but it's true though. He could never imagine his Aunt May actually here, but it'd be nice to get something to remind him of her. His smirk widens at the sight of the man's smile.] Oh, uh. Peter Parker. Nice to meet you. I appreciate your passion for PB&J.

There are a few things from home I wish we could get here. [ Not all of them are food related, either. ]

Yeah. You, too. You been in this place long?

I heard you can. It just costs a memory, and you don't get to choose which. [So Peter tries to avoid the vendors so he doesn't get tempted by what they have]

About eight months. You?

No, thanks. [ It's tempting to think they could get things from home, but he wouldn't ever want to willingly give up a memory. Even a small one. Even the worst memories. So Peter has the right idea by avoiding the vendors entirely. ]

About two months now. My sister got here a few days after me. You have people from home here?

About how I feel too. [There's no telling what could be lost, and Peter doesn't want to take that chance.]

So still pretty new, huh? Already judging the closets too. I approve. [Peter smirks lightly and then pauses at the question.] No. Don't know if I'd want them to be either.

[It's dangerous.]

Small act of rebellion, all I can do right now. [ Judging the closets really isn't much in the scheme of things, but if anyone in charge of this place is listening, he hopes they're mildly offended, at the very least. ]

Things have been okay for now, but I hear things about this place. Makes me worry I can't keep my sister safe. If I could get one person home, it'd be her.

There are plenty of dangerous events. What you hear, it's-- It's accurate. I don't blame you for wanting to get her back especially if it's safer for her there.

[For some people, it's not the case. They come from really dangerous places, and Wonderland is a walk-in-the-park in comparison. For Peter, it's like having shared pressure. He's not the only super powered individual around. He's not the only one responsible.]

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