entranceway | [text][ota]

[ooc: tw for body horror/decapitation. set after this. open to fourth walls given this happens the same night as the throne-room party.]

[Peter has no idea how to do this. He's still shaking, hunched in a corner, having tried to contact Bonnie only to get no response, because she's probably just passed out. It's late. He figures no matter what people want to know about this. They deserve to know. He would want to know if someone he cared about here died (ha).

He has seen dead people before. He held his Uncle Ben in his hands while he died. He was there when Captain Stacy took his final breaths, but there is something else- There is something different about stumbling on someone's head detached from their body on the floor after the action is all done in the silence when he only expects to stumble on nothing. It's different to then realize he recognizes who they are, and now he's hunched over his network device, stuck to a corner of his own room.]

If you know Faith, I found her. She died. I'm sorry. Her

She's Her body and head

She's

Her body is in my room right now. I don't know what happened. I mean she was murdered but I don't know how or who. I just found her. Also I didn't clean stuff up down there but there's blood and stuff. [stuff being his own vomit. he still feels sick.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[peter shifts slightly. it's not exactly a secret here, but it doesn't mean that he can just come out with the I'm Spider-man or I was bitten by a radioactive spider and now have spider powers thing.]

Back where I'm from, I learned that if you have a lot of power, you- you have a responsibility to use that power to help other people.

[and he learned it too late to help his uncle ben,

but he can't just forget about that lesson now because he's here. his uncle still died. the lesson still remains.]

I haven't been helping people enough here.

[ it's a little awkward to be holding pizzas and garlic bread on top while having a conversation that's not quite fit for the food — at least, not in its current state of form — but barry, who thinks about flashing to plop them somewhere where they won't quite technically be in the way, remains in place. ]

[ if anyone understands what peter's thinking and saying, it has to be barry allen. how many times has he found himself in that living room, gold and red circling around mom, and being unable to change her fate even when he's daydreaming? ]

You can't blame yourself for what happened. [ even though it is, technically, the easiest thing to do. the destruction of central city and the loss of so many lives due to a wormhole had rested on his shoulders — and still does. perhaps barry's not the best to be giving out advice, given he doesn't quite follow his own. but he can see how it isn't peter's fault. peter hadn't been there, peter hadn't known, or else barry suspects he would've acted, regardless of the danger. ] You're not responsible. And I think you're helping by letting people know —

[ the next words feel strange, given the dead should stay just that. ] She won't … She won't wake up alone.

[peter keeps his shoulders pressed hard against the wall behind him, releasing a breath then. his hands become firsts, furl and unfurl over and over again. his fingernails press into his palm as his jaw locks, and he releases a shaky breath.]

It's hard not to sometimes. [he shakes his head briefly, but it- it helps that he wasn't even there. it's harder when he's there and he tries really hard but fails. however, he also wasn't even thinking about donning the suit, the mask tonight. he hasn't thought about it enough since landing in wonderland, and he should have. he is going to change that about himself so at least he's swinging around on a regular basis, trying to reach out and to help when it's needed.

still barry's words reach him, and he nods, looking up over at him] I didn't want a bunch of people to like gawk at her, y'know? But I also wanted her to wake up with someone she cares about and knows really well... there.

[ quietly, ] Yeah, I do.

[ barry allen lost his mother at eleven right in front of him — or what would've been right in front of him, if his future self hadn't pulled him out of that room and saved his own life at the expense of his mother's. ]

[ sometimes barry wonders how he had come to make that decision. was it fight or flight, even though he wasn't that eleven year old and was a fully grown adult? he never wants to go back to that living room ever again — not after what he plans to do. ]

[ instead of holding the box of pizza, he takes a moment to place it on the ground. leaning against the opposite wall, he crosses his arms and thinks for a moment. ] I had someone die in front of me. The only thing I wanted more than anything was to make everyone leave her alone. But you're eleven. You don't know what's happening. [ he shrugs his shoulders; kids will be kids, after all. ]

[ then he clears his throat, and looks at peter. ] You should give people some time with her to make sure they can process what's happened, but you should go in there. I think she'd like you to be one of the first she sees when waking up.

[peter turns to look at barry at the confession, and he grimaces, apologetically. it's nothing anyone should know the feeling of. no one should know what it's like especially as a kid.

he has a piece of pizza in his hand, but he hasn't had a bite of it yet. he doesn't think to as barry explains, and he nods at the understanding, because it's very real. it's something peter can connect to.]

You don't have much power as a kid to do... much of anything. No matter how badly you want to. [it's said softly, and he looks across at the wall in front of him] I'm sorry.

[he breathes out genuinely and then finally takes a bite of pizza, chewing, swallowing thoughtfully.] You think so? I can do that. I just didn't want to... get in the way.

I only met her once before, but yeah, I will. Want to make sure... she comes back, y'know?

[ barry's situation is unique, but he accepts the sympathy with a little appreciative nod. it still makes him want to shy away, even after all of these years. at eleven years old his entire world had turned inside out, and he'd chosen to hide behind joe west when he didn't want to stand tall. at twenty-six, he's chosen to go back in time and erase it from ever happening. ]

[ he has a feeling peter may feel the same way about his late friend, but it's not a thought he thinks to acknowledge aloud. ]

Then you're not going to be in the way. [ his smile is small. he feels that about sums it up. if peter wants to be there for a good, selfless reason, then he belongs. it's as simple as that. ] Trust me. Just take some time out, and then go in there. You need to make sure you're okay first.

[peter pulls his knees up to his chest as his back presses to the wall behind him and then he nods. he'll head in there. there's still time. apparently she has died before so it's going to be one helluva wait until she wakes up (and she has to wake up, right?) it's- it's how it works in wonderland.]

Thank you.

[his voice is quiet but genuine. barry didn't have to find peter, and he didn't have to check in on him at all. this isn't even about peter. it's about faith, but he did.]

Not just for the pizza.

[ barry shrugs his shoulders in an effort to downplay anything he's done. peter's not necessarily a friend, but he could be. bringing pizza is what barry would do; talking to peter and focusing on him is what joe would do. ]

It's okay. [ he knows what it's like, he could say, but he doesn't really need to. ] I work as a CSI back home. My, uh — Joe — he's a detective, he's one of the best — would say something right about now that'd make you feel better. But all I can think about is how he'd tell me I'm an embarrassment to the force bringing you … kind of cold garlic bread.

[ all the joeisms he can think of, and there's only one that had made him want to crawl into his new bed and try and face the day. ]

It gets better. It won't today, but tomorrow it might feel a bit lighter.

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