entranceway | Entry #88

Entry tags:

Entry #88

[The video feed clicks on to feature an unassuming shot of the crisp gray sky, accompanied by the restless crunching of footsteps drawing closer. Abruptly, someone picks up the thing and spins it around with a faint flare of static that's gone as quickly as it flickered up.

There is, briefly, a face visible on the screen, dark hair and dark eyes and brows knit together in an expression puzzlement and concern. Then the feed flips around again and starts panning around the area in a slow sweep, handled in the same way someone might a handheld camera. It's both too familiar and too surreal, and he fumbles at the last second, dropping the angle so the network instead gets a lovely view of scuffed sneakers crunching through a patina of fallen leaves.]

So seasonal change sure is a thing. Like, really a thing. Place doesn't mess around.

[His tone is dry, the words drawn out with a slow, weary indolence. He doesn't seem to realize he's actively broadcasting at the moment. He's just taking video in the same way - how Jay would, and even now the memory is painful and sends a pang of regret thrumming all the way to his bones. It's just such an easy, obvious reflex. Practically instinctive.

The crunching of his footsteps halts abruptly as something seems to occur to him.]

So I can post now instead of reply, is that it? Wait, why now? What makes this so -

[The feed snaps out, evidently by mistake.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Chloe stops fumbling and looks at Tim. She's never met a fellow smoker in Wonderland before... or maybe because she just spends too much time either with Max or in her room. She leans in to light the cigarette in her mouth. A thin string of smoke appears as the stick is successfully lit. Chloe leans back a bit ths time and exhales a white puff of smoke above them.]

Thanks.

[She puts the cigarette in her mouth again and uses her free hand to get another stick from her pocket. The light wobbles again. Finally, she manages to pull out another cigarette and offer it to Tim.]

Here.

[He accepts the proffered cigarette, setting its end alight with the click-click of a lighter and a bracing pull of nicotine into his overtaxed, already-weak respiratory system. A guy with these kinds of lung problems shouldn't be smoking, the doctors say. That'll shorten his lifespan by years.

Good, he'd thought viciously, and left it at that.]

Thanks.

[His nerves weren't anymore frazzled than usual, but they start to smooth over almost immediately, if only marginally. It's only ever marginally.]

Would you believe you're the first other smoker I've met since I got here?

[Chloe breathes in the mix of cold air and white smoke. How intoxicating. She looks at Tim with interest.]

No shit? I've been here for months and I've never seen anyone smoke.

[She lightly taps her cigarette, sending bits of ashes on to the forest ground.]

Maybe they all just smoke inside their rooms, like me.

At least leave a window open, c'mon, [he says with mock disgust, but he undercuts the words with a snort and a shake of his head. Chances are he's done precisely the same.]

Guess it's down to us to teach all the insufferably good kids here these terrible habits.

[She waves her hand absentmindedly.]

I'm too lazy to get up and open a window. It drives my best friend crazy. She can't handle all the smoke.

[Chloe laughs at Tim's remark.]

That could work, if you and I were popular enough to even get them to listen to us.

[Because really, who would listen to a newbie dude and to a girl who practically lives in her room?]

Yeah, nah. Don't think I'm one for that.

[He sweeps a hand up and down in self-deprecating supination, as if to say: just look at me. He doesn't look much like the "popular kid" and never much was. Too heavyset with a face too sunken and eyes too haunted, stubble chasing his jaw, clothes smelling of cigarette smoke.]

Guess we'll just have to be the rebellious loners.

[Why he's trying to assign film archetypes to himself and someone he's barely met, he's got no clue.

He...

He thinks Jay might've done the same thing, in some other time.]

[Chloe does look at Tim from top to bottom, as he gestures to himself. She exhales a cloud of smoke. He's right. He doesn't look like any of the rich douchebags in Blackwell, who always got what they wanted.

Like Nathan fucking Prescott.

She looks at his face this time.

Yeah, he looks nothing like Prescott. Which is an okay sign, Chloe supposes.]

Rebellious loner? That practically sums up my life.

[She pops the cigarette in her mouth again and uses her free hand to remove her beanie, revealing her stark blue hair. Chloe then gestures from her hair, to her leather jacket, all the way to her black, mud-caked boots.]

As you can see, I already have the whole rebel look going on.

[He hums out a sound that might've been a laugh if he was inclined to have a sense of humor, but he isn't.]

Yeah, wow. Next thing we know you'll be telling me you've got a couple dozen piercings or something.

[Blue hair, tattoos, boots, jacket - yep, she's kinda got the whole loner archetype going for her. He mostly just looks - well, sad, if he's honest with himself. Something tired and wrung-out and distant and empty, which isn't too far from the truth.]

[Chloe just shakes her head.]

Nope, the only piercings I have are the ones in my ears.

[Although, she wouldn't mind getting a few more, now that Tim's mentioned it.

For a while, Chloe is quiet, just listening to the forest sounds around her. There's not much to hear; just the gust of the wind and the rustling of trees. Tim was right though; there are shadows everywhere, making it almost impossible to distinguish shapes. Chloe turns her attention to her cigarette, which is practically finished by now. She is wondering if she should start on a second one; she straightens up.]

So, are we still doing this thing? Or are we gonna spend the whole night, smoking? Because that's fine with me too.

Y'know, I kinda set out to do one and ending up wanting to do the other.

[Because now that he's thinking about it at more length, setting out into an unknown stretch of woodland armed with little more than a camera is just about Jay magnitudes of stupid.]

Besides, this is usually the part of the horror movie where the dumb kids decide to keep going and end up horribly regretting it, huh?

Agreed. Although,

[Chloe grins.]

I dunno about you but the dumb-kid-who-decides-to-keep-going is usually me anyway.

[Because Max is usually the cautious one. The one who makes sure to stay out of trouble and would be pretty peeved when she finds out that Chloe's gone wandering off in the middle of the night with a dude she hardly knows.

She takes one last drag from her cigarette before throwing it on the forest ground and stepping on it. Chloe looks through her pockets for another stick, only to find spare change and a used handkerchief.]

Damn it, I'm out. You still have some on you?

[Just his luck. That was Jay too, it turned out. The kind of guy who just sort of blundered into every obstacle that was thrown at him, and even went to painful lengths to seek out said obstacles when they weren't being pitched his way.

Evidently, Tim is doomed to forever be the Only Sane Man in other people's adventures. Presumably it's a part he doesn't even play all that well. He can't even keep the people he's supposed to be protecting alive.

He digs out his pack of cigarettes and offers it to her without missing a beat.]

Jeez, man. Try to have some self-preservation, y'know?

[He might not be capable of smiling all that much, but he can tell a dry joke here and again.]

Thanks.

[Chloe takes one stick from the pack and holds it out so Tim could offer his lighter next.]

Self-preservation? Ha!

[She laughs at his joke.]

Yeah right.

[There's nothing self-preserving about chasing down a psycho artist or offering to die for everyone else. The only person who's really made an effort to keep her alive is Max. And that's something she'll forever be grateful for. Chloe's always been scared of dying. But most of the time, she's too reckless to realize that death is just a few feet away. Max was always the one who's held her back and saved her skin. She literally would not be here if it weren't for her.]

If you want a real lecture on self-preservation, you should meet my best friend.

[He lights it with a flick of a thumb and a spurt of flame, taking his time in finishing his own. He likes to think he's cut down since everything ended, but he hasn't. At all.]

Think I already did. Max? Brown hair, joined in to mock me about nitpicking your slang?

[He mostly sounds amused, or amused as someone can sound without actually cracking a smile.]

[Chloe grins and takes a drag, eager to start on her second cigarette.]

Yeah that's her. Although she doesn't really mock people. She's too nice for that shit. She usually tries making jokes but they're mostly corny and just fall flat.

[Chloe loves Max to the moon but really, some of her comebacks are just so... well, Max. She looks at Tim with a curious expression, careful not to exhale smoke right in his face.]

So, no old friends in Wonderland huh? That's hella bad luck, man.

Nah, it's better like that. Didn't make any friends I'd want anyone to meet.

[Sweeping generalizations like that are easier. Easier than thinking about Jay and who he might've been prior to everything, easier than thinking about how his life had been so unremarkable and shitty and forgettable that he'd had no hesitations in hurling himself headfirst at the thing that would kill him.]

She seemed all right. "Corny" isn't so bad.

[Better than "pretentious".]

[Chloe looks at Tim thoughtfully through the cloud of smoke she had just exhaled and grins.]

Yeah, corny is alright.

[She mutters.]

Adorable even.

[She clears her throat and makes her voice louder again.]

Okay, so no friends. What about family? Any nagging parents or obnoxious little brothers?

["Adorable, even." He can't wholly muzzle the pang of envy that jars his chest. Yeah, it sounds like it'd be fantastic to have someone like that you know and trust and can care about completely without fearing that they're just - just pretending, or just going through those motions because you have something they want.

Sounds nice.

His breath almost catches and his distaste almost shows on his face, but he makes a show of containing it.

What about family? Yeah, what about family? Well gee, he'd sure love to know. His dad was a non-entity for as long as he could remember. His mom - he figured out she wasn't coming back after something like the fourth or fifth time she skipped out on visiting him at the hospital. If she ever had any other children, he never knew about them. No room for freaks in her perfect world.]

Nah. [But his tone is tired and easy as he shrugs, noncommittal.] Just me, for most of it.

[For a while, Chloe abruptly stops smoking. She looks at Tim carefully, almost certain she sees his expression change, but the moment passes, and she's sure she just imagined it. Nevertheless, Chloe doesn't stop looking at Tim. She barely knows this dude but one thing's for sure: at one point in their lives, they were both alone. Chloe sort of got passed that stage, thanks to Rachel, then Max. But something tells her Tim never recovered.

Her expression softens but she quickly shrugs it off, uncomfortable to let Tim see her mushy side. Good thing their faces are both wrapped in shadows.

Chloe resumes smoking.]

I hear ya, dude. Having to deal with shit on your own? That was me for more than 5 years up until a few months ago.

Live on your own?

[That's not so weird, he supposes, even if it feels like everyone here's got someone - a friend, a family member, someone from home. If someone from his home actually did up and appear one day, he's got no clue what he'd do with it. Run away screaming, probably. And that's an optimistic estimate.

He doesn't wanna think about it.]

[Chloe takes a long drag, then looks up and exhales, creating a moderately big cloud of smoke above them. She thinks back to the 5 years after William died, after Max moved to Seattle. An uneasy feeling settles in her stomach. She absolutely dreads remembering those moments in her life... and becomes equally terrified of the possibility that those shitty things might happen to her again.]

Uh, not exactly. I mean, I had my mom and the step-douche- dad--

[Jeez, I'm still not used to calling David my stepdad.]

But it's not like I hung out with them 24/7. I actually made sure that we almost never see each other. And I didn't exactly have a long list of people who were dying to be friends with me. Getting kicked out of school can do that to you.

[He almost snorts at that. Step-douche. He can only begin to guess what the relationship might be there.]

Well, I guess we got that in common.

[He doesn't specify what - mostly 'cause he means "all of it." And yes, all of it, with the exception of the getting kicked out of school bit. For him it was a medical file several inches thick, a dour demeanor, and several rumors about the "loonybin" he apparently hailed from. Growing up in a hospital did his social life no favors when he was finally released into the wild.]

Might as well have lived on my own, anyway.

[Chloe raises an eyebrow at Tim.]

Did you get kicked out of school too?

[Then she laughs.]

'Cause then we'd be hella cliches-- two school drop-outs, smoking and bitching about life in some dark, shady corner.

Not really. Just wasn't much for it.

[His mouth twists wryly. It's not quite a smile, but it's about as close as someone like him can get to it.]

Kinda had a weird time growing up. No one wants to be friends with a crazy.

[He makes a circular gesture with one finger, level with his temple - the universal symbol for "off his goddamn rocker." More complicated than that, sure, but as far as everyone else is concerned? He's just some weird kid with a list of mental health issues longer than anyone's got time for.]

Re-ea-allyyyyyy?

[Chloe stretches the word, intrigued by Tim's answer.]

Crazy how?

Entry #88

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

been busy but now im back; i backtag sooo much i hope you dont mind!!!

nah no problem, i backtag indefinitely

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)