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[ Sarah's lounging in bed, hair up in a ponytail, and she doesn't have much to say except: ]

Why are there no old people here? You know, like...I'm going to go out on a limb and say I definitely haven't seen anyone over 60. And I'm talking visually. Don't be a smart ass and tell me you're over 1,000, I get it, some of you are immortal or magic or...whatever. I'm just saying, no one appears to be over the age of, I don't know, post mid-life crisis.

I wonder why that would be? Wonderland has a youthful aesthetic to maintain? If you're over, say, 65 in human years, raise your hand.

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_{[Body parts. What a pleasant thought.]}

Hope you enjoy that brownie.

_{[It's probably going to taste a little of despair now, congrats there.]}

Now that you ask, I'm not too sure. _[Wearily:] You mean we don't have one at the moment. Given how heavily things that want to eat us feature in people's event memories, I'm a bit surprised. Maybe they were a pacifist cannibal. Closet bodies only.

_{[Make no mistake, that's 100% sarcasm.]}

Gonna take more than this conversation to stop me from eating chocolate, honestly.

[ Seriously, she's got a problem. ]

Look, if there is a cannibal here now, even more motivation to work out because no one wants something too lean, right?

[ Is she seriously talking about the preferred cuts of human meat a cannibal would like? Yes. She is. ]

So, this is a weird topic. Thanks, Wonderland.

Now you're starting to look at exercise like me. Stay fit, run fast, and the things that want to kill you might give up and go elsewhere. For both our sakes, I'm glad we missed out on dinner parties with the neighborhood cannibal.

_{[Sarah may be sporting a capacity for dark, morbid humor, but Anders isn't too far behind, laughing at her determination to keep chocolate on her menu while avoiding ending up on someone else's.]}

Remember the days when it just talking about the weather and who was thinking of asking out who? Now we have geriatric immortals and non-humans' dietary restrictions.

We were so young, and life was so simple.

[ She sighs wistfully, then snaps out of it. ]

So how are you? Have any gossip about anyone worth sharing?

[ C'mon, Anders, spill things. ]

That was the golden age, wasn't it?

_{[Though Anders can't recall having many of those days before Wonderland, truth be told. A guy can dream that one day his problems will amount to day-ruining rainstorms and petty neighbor disputes.]}

Ah, sorry to say I'm fresh out of stories on bloodsuckers or strangers I've kissed recently. Would you settle for a cute cat photo?

I think the only question here, Anders, is who wouldn't settle for a cute cat photo?

Also, what's your type? Is she - or he - anywhere around? Need a wing woman?

Then do I have a treat in store for you. I don't mess about with my cat photos.

_{[Pulling his device out of the folds of his robes, he clicks a handful of buttons, queueing up what in his mind is undoubtedly worth sharing, sliding the device across the table to her.

It's not salacious gossip, but it is a baby animal, so... worth it?]}

Who says I'm still not holding out hope for that threesome?

_{[Is Option C: "all comers welcome" an answer?]}

Cat toe beans are really the best.

[ She does very much appreciate that picture, smiling before handing it over. So worth it. ]

You really know how to flatter, honestly. Now I'm slightly offended that more people in my life haven't asked for threesomes with me.

_{[That gets him chuckling.]}

There was a girl here who'd have agreed with you--she educated me on the value of the toe bean. Other than that, I haven't met anyone else as willing to show off their midriff in front of a camera.

_{[His cheeky smile carries a hint of ruefulness as if to say ah well, what can you do? He's gone long periods of time without the luxury of a companion to warm his bed when life-or-death, freedom-or-captivity has been on the line. It won't kill him to go without a while longer, even if one is a lonely number.]}

No? You ought to spend more time in seedy back alley establishments. You'll get plenty of requests--and with more than three people.

Damn my brother for raising me to not hang out in seedy back alleys. He did too good of a job.

[ She sighs as if she's serious about it. ]

Oh well. It's good to have fantasies, Anders. You'll never be disappointed by a fantasy.

That's where the term "cockblock" comes in quite nicely, yes?

_{[Anders smiles widely. Did he get that right? One has to hand it to people of Earth--they have a real flair for language when it comes to slang.

A heavy sigh follows in the wake of her next comment.]}

I suppose I'll just have to bide my time... Don't go hogging all the vampires to yourself now. If Ray's not into the idea of sharing, it'll have to fall to you. Leave some ageless undead for the rest of us.

_{[Inwardly, he's still kind of laughing that Sarah had made out with one. Now that's an age difference Kurt Weller would probably frown at and then some.]}

[ Kurt will never know, okay? E V E R. ]

I guess cockblock could be used here, although usually, it's more in the present. Like if you were taking someone back to your room to have sex but you had a roommate who came home right then and kept you from actually getting laid? Cockblocked.

[ She enjoys explaining. ]

Oh? Speaking from experience, or was this big brother, too?

_{[Are your ears burning yet, Kurt?

Unfortunately for the man in question, Sarah's older brother reminds Anders a bit of Cullen with his gruffly prim and proper mannerisms, a man that needs to be tough so as to show no weakness. Anders loves to pick at that kind of veneer until he finds a loose thread and tugs it apart.]}

Let me answer that by saying I moved in with Kurt, so.

[ She was said blocker when he tried to bring home Allie. Which makes her frown. ]

But the woman wasn't Jane, so I stand by my being in the way.

That so?

_{[So this is mutual terrorism on each other's love lives. Big brother gets to intimidate the men little sister hangs out with, and little sister gets to inspect big brother's dates from the comfort of the couch.]}

Unless you've denied him a threesome of his own, I think you're in the clear. Jane's pretty close to your family, though, isn't she?

_{[It's a questioning sort of statement. No wonder Jane's already snatched up by someone--have you seen her? Those striking eyes of hers could feature in one of her paintings.]}

She is. At first, because we thought...

[ Sarah pauses, clearing her throat. ]

Because we thought she was someone else. Now because Kurt fell in love, hard. Even though he tried to deny it, and even though it sounds like it might get worse before it al gets better.

She mentioned a little about it. Her memory and meeting Kurt and such.

_{[A mild reply that skirts around the elephant in the room. There must be one for every room of Jane's life, and he understands it's probably an intensely personal subject.]}

But that's all back home? I hope things are proceeding a little more smoothly here. I only had to meet Jane once to think she deserves a break--and probably your brother, as well. Taking down bad guys must be a full-time job.

_{[And that's coming from a Grey Warden.]}

Yeah, it is. Wonderland's done a lot for them, and it'll suck when they leave but for now, it's good. Jane does deserve a break for sure. Kurt pushes himself hard and needs a break but won't take one.

[ Bullheaded and stubborn is his middle name. ]

Jane just needs life to throw her a few bones, really.

_{[Anders takes a sip from his coffee cup, musing.]}

Neither strike me as being easily scared off by hardship. I'm sure they'll find their respective ways back in the real world.

_{[He doesn't speak of that other elephant in the room: the fact that this place has its perks, but it's not built to sustain a real life. Whatever happens, he wishes them all the best when they return and work toward the future in earnest.]}

Having a friend like you helps, no doubt. You're a good friend to worry the way you do.

[ Sarah smiles softly and gives a little shrug. ]

My brother gave up his whole life to take care of me. He deserves it. To be happy. And Jane...well. Who knows how much and how often she was fucked over by the universe but sometimes she just has this look. Like she's so damn tired of everything. But when she's with Kurt she looks better. Happier. More willing to go through a lot of shit to get to the happiness because it's with him.

[ Wooooooooooooooooooooooow Sarah is such a shipper. ]

Edited 2017-05-08 17:58 (UTC)

No family in the picture?

_{[He's getting the impression Kurt's gone above and beyond the call of the average big brother each time Sarah talks about her family. That, and they're just plain good people, taking a woman without a past into their fold to help her grasp a future.]}

That's it, we'll have to call it a day on the romance front. There's no way we can top that now.

_{[But joke as he might, he's pleased to hear it, truly.]}

Uh..my mom left when I was five and my dad was....a....

[ Murderer. ]

A drunk. A bad one.

[ She's about to tell him everything, why, but then he jokes and she can't bring the tone back down so she smiles. ]

I honestly don't think those two could be more in love if they tried. Total idiots, honestly.

[ Said with complete love and affection. ]

_{[An absent mother, a drunk father, a brother with a career that promises danger around every corner, and Anders is sure that's only the bare bones of it. Difficult circumstances for anyone, but here Sarah sits, staring down a foreign dimension.

Jane and the Wellers are made of some tough stuff. Lifting his cup, Anders salutes her with it.]}

Despite it all, look at where you're at. Not literally, of course, since we're stuck here for the foreseeable future and all, but you and Kurt seem as though you've risen above what life's seen fit to throw your way.

_{[Cheers to that.]}

I can absolutely toast to that.

[ And she does, saluting him with her cup in return. ]

Cheers!

_{[Anders smile is an unfettered thing of good humor and agreement. Surviving a crappy hand--a toast for all occasions.]}

Our situation here is just one more thing to rise above.

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fade for more shenanigans later?

yes, sounds good!