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[blackbirdsing]

[ Sarah's lounging in bed, hair up in a ponytail, and she doesn't have much to say except: ]

Why are there no old people here? You know, like...I'm going to go out on a limb and say I definitely haven't seen anyone over 60. And I'm talking visually. Don't be a smart ass and tell me you're over 1,000, I get it, some of you are immortal or magic or...whatever. I'm just saying, no one appears to be over the age of, I don't know, post mid-life crisis.

I wonder why that would be? Wonderland has a youthful aesthetic to maintain? If you're over, say, 65 in human years, raise your hand.

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[catchacold]

No kidding. Barring those immortals you mentioned, I feel like I'm already among the oldest.

[blackbirdsing]

Well, you can't say that and not mention how old you are.

[catchacold]

Right. Forty-four. Birthday's in June. Now that you know, you better have a present for me.

[blackbirdsing]

I'll just go with June first and shower you with gifts then, does that work?

[catchacold]

June second would be the exact day, but, yanno. I ain't gonna complain about early presents.

[blackbirdsing]

[ Just give her a second to literally put that in her phone and...done. June second. Presents will be given. Possibly a cake. ]

Benefit of Wonderland: You'll never look a day older.

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[mandrakes]

[Ehem.]

I believe that by human standards I might fit the appearance of someone past their... how did you put it... 'mid-life crisis'.

[Not entirely what most would understand as mortal, unfortunately, but this is what you get.]

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[blackbirdsing]

Oh, hi!

[ And yeah, he looks old but she's not going to say that, she has more tact. She also had no plan for what to say if there was an actual older looking person who was here because she was so sure there wasn't??? ]

You said 'by human standards.' Does that mean you aren't human?

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[mandrakes]

[Don't worry, he's noticed there aren't too many who appear to have the kinds of years that he does.]

Unfortunately, for the purposes of your study, I am not. [A tiny smile.]

I am a vampire.

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[blackbirdsing]

[ Oh, man, fascinating. ]

Tell me more. I mean. Do you enjoy being a more distinguished looking vampire?

[ That's not offensive to say, right? Probably not. ]

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[agentxthirteen]

That's... a good question. [ And one Sharon had never considered before. ] When my great-aunt was here, she was in her nineties back home, and here she was in her twenties.

Maybe it has something to do with the events and their physical demands? But if this place feeds on memories, it makes sense that we'd have more older people here...

[catchacold]

Already not much of an issue for me. [Something in his genes, apparently.]

So, you got any theories? Maybe it's like virgin sacrifices, they just need young people here. Although given how much this place runs on memories, you'd think they'd want older people.

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[malkavialogist]

[ However old Grout is, he's clearly having trouble with the video communicator. Or maybe not trouble so much as an inability to choose between watching the screen and moving it around to watch it working.

Grout is everybody's great-grandpa who can't figure out this newfangled technology. ]

Is there... excuse me. A delight to meet you. Is there some great surplus of mages and immortals here?

[ This is relevant to his interests for. reasons. ]

[henrydaniel]

I never thought about that before.

Maybe...because the Queen of Hearts is kind of vain so even in her hostage taking, she wants young people?

[ Honestly who knows. ]

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[manipulative]

[ as someone who's over 500 years old and has been experiencing a mid-life crisis for half of that time, katherine should really be raising her hand. she doesn't, though. spending five centuries pretending she's within the age brackets of 18 to early 20s has left her as guarded as she always is. wonderland may be accepting of creatures like her, but that doesn't mean katherine accepts herself. ]

[ it's an interesting question nonetheless, and so she decides to entertain it. ]

Or perhaps if you remain the same as you were when you arrived, you never would think of leaving. Isn't Wonderland all about never quite staying on time?

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[blackbirdsing]

Wow, that's...a little mind breaking to think about. And so weird, I don't want a younger version of my brother to show up or something if he disappears as he is now.

[ Somehow, this makes her think of younger...everything, which makes her think of Taylor, which makes her realize Taylor could show up. Five-year-old Taylor, pre-murder.

Shit. Fuck. ]

I mean, since we don't have a lot of older people here, and there are a lot of kids, any idea what the youngest anyone has ever been here?

[ There's now a slight edge to her voice, though she's trying to keep looking calm and collected. ]

[blackbirdsing]

Yeah, but if it's virgins, why not just...bring virgins because they do tend to be on the younger scale. Usually.

[ But to backtrack for a second. ]

You don't age? Or you'll just keep looking like you're in your mid-thirties forever?

[ Yes that was somehow a compliment in Sarah's world. ]

[catchacold]

Don't think it actually is virgins, just drawing a comparison. Looking for certain qualities, whatever it is.

[...well, technically he's dead, so.]

Nah just lucked out on looking young so far. I expect back home I'd have looked older eventually. Probably.

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[blackbirdsing]

[ Awww, that's the type of old person she was looking for: Slightly terrible at technology but willing to try. Precious. ]

Hmmm, well, I've met a couple, enough to know I needed the disclaimer. But not enough to know if it's an overwhelming majority. Are you either one of those?

[blackbirdsing]

[ Well, there's a past tense that gets her attention, and Sarah just mentally thinks fuck before deciding not to call attention to it. Because who wants to discuss their death? She's assuming it's not casual conversation, and she'll spare him the questions unless he ever wants to tell her. ]

But I mean, it'd be interesting if it was virgins. Sorry. Getting off the virgins.

[ WOW. Pun not intended, and she rolls her eyes at herself. ]

You know what I meant. Moving on.

Maybe old people are too mellow to get riled up about all the things that happen. I mean, at a certain point you just aren't going to be able to run and fight the way this place seems to always want us to.

[blackbirdsing]

[ Oh, hey, magical kid! ]

Maybe. I wouldn't dismiss it, but I have heard from a person or two who seems to fit the 'over age 50ish' bill. Which, for the record, I don't think 50 is old.

[ Anyway. ]

Do you age? I mean, back home, normally? I know you have magic, so I wasn't sure if that went hand in hand with non-aging.

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[blackbirdsing]

Wonderland does have that going for it classicly, for sure. And maybe this is me getting too caught up in Wonderland conspiracy.

[ It probably is. ]

Maybe to this place, it's about the number and not the looks. I mean, never judge a book by its cover, right? Kind of applies to people too.

[catchacold]

Not knocking the virgins... [Damn it.] The virgins theory, but I don't know about you, but they're definitely a couple decades late for me.

[But there are a lot of children here. Which brings up another point, together with what she says.]

Lots of people to look after here. Makes me run and fight.

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[beatupgrass]

[is no one gonna say it?

is he gonna have to be the one to say it?]

Why? Are you only into older dudes, and your pickings are too slim around here?

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[wriggedywrecked]

Excuse me? I'm f-fucking old as shit. Who gives a fuck? What's that goddamn well h-h-have to do with anything?