entranceway | op-ed } from Ace of Spades, the Wonderland Blog of Georgia Mason, entry #5

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op-ed } from Ace of Spades, the Wonderland Blog of Georgia Mason, entry #5

Are you happy here? Don't answer immediately. Take a minute to think about it. It's a complicated question. The concept of happiness is vague and hard to define, especially if we try and generalize it for all people. Certainly, there are moments of joy to be had here. As far as cages go, the gilding on this one can't be denied. Anything you want for free? The ability to come back to life without a hunger for human flesh? Eternal youth? No one is starving to death here. Everyone has a bed and a roof. Compared to a lot of the places people come from, this place is downright utopian even including the events. I know I'm dead at home. That's almost enough to counterbalance the lack of internet. Almost. There are a lot of reasons to be happy here. All we're giving up is freedom, and how many of us even really have that at home? It's the permanent all-expenses-paid resort vacation no one asked for, and time isn't moving so it's not like we're even missing anything. You know who was especially happy here? The people who lived in the Wonderland we all dreamed about in December. The ones who didn't remember ever living anywhere else. Talk about a happy ending. No one fighting, no one in pain, everyone living every day in pure, ignorant bliss. I've called Wonderland a lie before, and I maintain it, but it's the worst sort of lie because it's so very tempting to believe it. Would it really be so bad to give in and just be happy? Why fight it when it isn't our call, when we are powerless to do anything but try and survive whatever Wonderland throws at us? I say bliss is overrated. What's the point of being happy when you aren't yourself anymore? Is it really a vacation if you have no choice but to take it? There's so much here that we know isn't right. If we give in to being happy, we risk complacency, and if we get complacent, we risk losing the opportunity to rise up when we can. I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy the good times Wonderland gives us. God knows they're few and far between. Be happy. Just never forget everything Wonderland gives us is the equivalent of giving a favorite pet a nice toy. Wonderland is pampering us because it is using us. The minute we forget that is the minute Wonderland owns us. None of us are free. Never forget that. So am I happy here? It doesn't fucking matter.

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How much does rent go in a mansion these days? Personal freedom + maintenance costs? Might seem like a fair bargain depending.

Always a headache when near-sentient dimensions have empty nest syndrome and won't let you go.

People have always been willing to give up liberty for personal security. You should see how most people live in my world. Bloodtests and walls and never going outside, not to mention lots and lots of guns. Might keep them alive, but it won't be living.

I wonder if there's a way to talk to it directly.

You're Georgia, the one teaching Clementine how to sucker people out of their life's stories with those big doe eyes of hers, right? From a zombie world?

_{[It's little wonder her and Clementine's respective worlds sound like hot garbage when the undead is running the show.]}

I've been wondering the same thing. Were you around in the fall when it threw itself about ten different parties and sent everyone on a wild goose chase solving riddles?

That's not precisely how I'd put it. But yes, I'm teaching her about journalism. And I do come from a world with zombies.

[Then again, it's not like she'd discourage using every advantage to get a story. Including big doe eyes, if you have them. God knows Georgia uses her eyes when the occasion calls for it. Though they're less "big doe" and more "creepy shark".]

No, but I've heard about it. It sent a message, right?

I think I saw you there when she was interviewing for her bestiary.

_{[Which is what he's come to call it. Luckily, that was the only time in recent memory he remembers crossing paths with their writer-in-residence; he wouldn't have wanted to do a meet and greet while she was zombified in the water during the Great Flood of 2017.]}

Makes sense this would look like a walk in the park in comparison.

Yeah. A creepy music box message and a bunch of papers and maps. The natives didn't seem to know what it was about, either. It's the closest I've heard of a puppet master taking credit for this fine establishment.

The zombie article? Yeah, I was there. She's my intern.

I wouldn't call this a walk in the park in comparison. I know how to deal with zombies. This is new and different every time.

[And say what you will about zombies, they don't take your mind away. Well, except that final time when you convert, but it's not like you'd have more of a mind if you just died the normal way. It's expected. It's scientifically feasible. It's what she's used to. It's home.

This... isn't.]

Don't suppose that puppet master left a return address?

Yeah, that thing!

You can walk in the park without worrying that person you pass on the path is going to lunge in for a bite, that must be a plus. I don't think I'd last long in your guys' worlds. The smell would do me in.

That'd be the decent thing, but sadly and unsurprisingly, no. I made copies. I can share my notes if you like, you might see a postmark the rest of us missed.

You're making assumptions. For one thing, no one walks in the park unless they're looking for trouble, and if they are, they take body armor and guns. I've done it, but my case is unique. Also it's not like zombies are just wandering around everywhere. Sure, it happens, and yeah, people don't get too close to strangers because it's harder to tell if a stranger has amplified, but most people don't see zombies at all other than on the news. My brother plays with dead things professionally, so we've seen them pretty frequently, but like I've said, unique case. And while zombies don't smell very good themselves, anyone living douses themselves in bleach at least once a day, then uses moisturizer to keep their skin healthy. Believe me, it doesn't come fully scentless. But it also doesn't smell like the dead. Of course, that's just my world. We've had zombies for over two decades. It's different for Clementine. And I would love to see your notes. Thank you.

_{[Whoa boy.]}

That was just a joke about the smell. I hope the part with the bleach was, too. That sounds painful.

You and Clementine are welcome to it. I've been looking into escape plans the year I've been here, albeit from a magic standpoint.

Actually, I think she and I are next door neighbors. I can load her up and send her over.

I don't joke about zombie safety. It is painful, but less painful than turning into a zombie and eating your friends, so we put up with it. If you'd like. I'm also on the ninth floor, room 60 if you feel like bringing it by yourself. Sign on the door reads After the End Times.

_{[No overused idioms, got it. He'll only to stick to less hokey ones from here on out.]}

Is it that easily transferable, this zombie plague? We don't have anything exactly comparable in my world.

And official signage, too? I'm impressed. I don't mind stopping in. It'd be a pleasure to meet, and two heads are better than one.

_{[Oh no, there goes another cliché turn of phrase. Well, he tried.]}

Extremely easily transferable, though Wonderland seems to have somehow curtailed it from transferring on its usual droplet based vector. You can tell by how people have died since we showed up and not tried to eat anyone.

[They get back up again, which still makes Georgia vaguely uncomfortable, though considering it's happened to her, she can't really complain.]

Whatever you prefer. Just give us some advanced warning if you can. It'll probably be three heads. My brother has this tendency of hanging around and annoying me when I'm trying to work, though considering our office is also his room, it's fair.

"Droplet based vector"? I hope that means you can go a little easier on the bleach bath while here.

That I can do. If you inherited the writing talent in the family, what did he get? A talent for public speeches?

No, the bleach is to kill the live form of the virus, which thankfully isn't droplet based or humanity wouldn't have survived.

He pokes zombies with sticks for the entertainment of the masses.

_{[Once more with feeling: your world sounds sucky, Georgia.]}

I'll hand it to Wonderland, at least it only inflicts the darkest horrors of our worlds on us on the occasional weekend and not every day.

Interesting choice. Hitting something with a stick gets a point across as much as a well-worded thesis.

[Hey, it's home.]

I don't think you understood my meaning there. I said poke, not hit. Hand to hand combat with zombies is a terrible idea.

Poking one with a stick is also a terrible idea, but it lets you get great footage.

Are all journalists this literal, or is it just you?

_{[Hyperbole is the spice of life, Georgia, come on.]}

Dare I ask why touching the undead with a stick is necessary at all? You both sound like you lead quite the exciting lives back home.

It's not about being literal. It's about precision and accuracy of language.

It's not necessary, but it pays well. He runs the Action News department for our site.

Yeah, but accuracy doesn't have the same dramatic punch.

_{[But as someone who's dead back home, well... he supposes she's allowed to use her second chance to be as precise as he wants.]}

I see. I admit I haven't been keeping apprised of my Wonderland news. He's assisting you with this venture, then?

Lies are usually more dramatic, yes.

[Georgia's insistence on strict, undiluted honesty, free from passion, exaggeration, or opinion doesn't always grant her great ratings. But it means people can trust what they're getting from her. More drama doesn't mean better. It just means less truthful.]

We're partners.

_{[Passion, exaggeration, opinion--the trifecta of Anders' personality right there.]}

I prefer to think of it as spicing up a bland flavor. But there's something to be said for handing someone a reality check with some cold, hard facts. To that end, I hope your piece does its intended job.

I'll be sure to bring what I have over (all factual to the best of my knowledge, I promise) the next time I'm in the neighborhood. Perhaps I'll see the both of you in person.

The truth is only bland if you're not paying attention. Or from a world a great deal more boring than mine's ever been.

[Zombies. They keep things interesting.]

Great. Just let me know when.

You've got me there. Imprisonment is pretty boring, I probably got it from that.

_{[Georgia's mentor might be more of a straight shooter than him, but in terms of escape, they see eye-to-eye perfectly well, which is why Anders would like to help each other get a leg up on Wonderland.

If her mind is as sharp as her words, Anders doesn't think he'll have any regrets compiling information with her.]}

Is tomorrow too soon? I can stop by at any point this week when it's convenient.

It's fine, just give me some advance notice for when so I can make sure someone's in the office.

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op-ed } from Ace of Spades, the Wonderland Blog of Georgia Mason, entry #5

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