e x p e r i m e n t #03 (audio)

[mviw]

Stanford Pines here. It has been brought to my attention that according to my timeline, I am really missing out on thirty years' worth of Earth's culture and media. I left my dimension in 1982 and returned in 2012.

So. What have I missed? Anyone have any recommendations? I'll even take something from another time period or planet if you think it's good.

Comments

[rosswood]

bro
buddy
friend
pal
brainiac boy

i could give you a fucking list

[mviw]

That's brainiac man to you. Dr. Brainiac Man. [He's kidding.]

A list would be appropriate--a good list. [If you give him a list full of shitty titles...]

[rosswood]

[CLEARS THROAT]

• Fight Club- 1999. the masses were actually right about this one
  
• Dead Poet's Society- 1989. this one too
  
• Magnolia- 1999. underrated as fuck
  
• Dis – en historie om kjærlighet-1995. its norwegian but its good
  
• Eyes Wide Shut- also 1999 anything kubrick touches is pure goddamn gold and i'll fight people on that one
  
• Idioterne- 1998. incredible commentary on human nature
  
• Intensive Care- 1991. the critics didn't know what they were talking about this movie's great

[mviw]

... I'll add them to the list. Somehow I feel like not all of these may be as good as you think, but I'll still give them a shot.

[rosswood]

look man 30 years outside the cultural vacuum means you got to stay untainted by our culture's perverted obsession with meaningless big budget noise as opposed to real meaningful human connection
you never had to listen to insufferable critics making horrible reviews of movies that are actual masterpieces provided that you actually think
so that gives you an advantage right there

[mviw]

I would correct you on there not being insufferable critics in my time, but after the 60s I mostly stopped paying attention to anything that wasn't related to college. There were critics no doubt, but I didn't pay attention to them.

What makes you think I wouldn't like thinking about something anyway?

[rosswood]

some people say movies are best for escapism blah blah blah shouldn't make you think to hard
those people are idiots
art is there to make you think you know

[mviw]

... Huh. [He is actually really surprised to hear that coming from this kid.] At least that's something we can both agree on.

Are any of those surreal in any way? Any hauntings or cerebral twists?

[rosswood]

most of them honestly
made to make you think about what it is to be human and stuff
how the brain really works
neat stuff

[mviw]

I've found that my PhDs make watching movies difficult sometimes. If they had more nerds consulting in Hollywood... imagine.

[rosswood]

yeah ok fair point
but some of the classics are good even if there the worst at understanding the internet
if you can get past some of those 80s "i'm jacked in" moments

[mviw]

... I uh...

[He clears his throat uncomfortably. Hmm, how to break this to a kid who will no doubt make fun of it? Ah well, what the hell does he care?]

I used other universes' versions of instant communication networks, but I haven't used Earth's internet. The concept and technology are kid stuff, but the culture and Earth experience? Not a clue.

[rosswood]

wait
wait
WAIT












so you've never seen a meme

[THIS. IS. INCREDIBLE.]

[mviw]

... No...? I don't... think so? Look, when you have a bounty on your head just for existing, you don't have time to fully absorb the nuances of an alien computer culture.

[rosswood]

[There's no text response to this message. Just ten video attachments.

The video attachments are all the same.]

1/2

[mviw]

[If the audio Alex can hear is anything to go by, Ford is watching the entire video.]

2/2

[mviw]

[And then once it's done, he just squints a lot.]

...

Wirt wasn't kidding about the synths. There's a joke here I just know I'm missing.

[rosswood]

yes there is
here look let me give you another example

[Spoilers: it's not another example. It's the same video.

Lord this is priceless.]

[mviw]

That was not another example! It's the same video! Is that what a "meme" is? Showing the same video of a semi-androgynous, mediocre popstar singing an admittedly catchy song over and over?

[rosswood]

[The outrage! The outrage is delicious. Yes Ford, feel the rage of a thousand Internet users who've just realized they've been japed! Feel it.]

alright alright here
this one really is a different one trust me

[>new attachment

Except no it's not. It's still Rick Astley.]

[mviw]

--It's just the same video!

[rosswood]

look you want full exposure to earth internet or not

[Three. more. attachments.

Actually, the middle one is a different video. It's this video.]

[mviw]

But what's the point?

[Ugh. Okay. Well at least the middle video is entertaining, but it makes him ask one question:]

... Why?

For someone who got pretentious talking about movies you seem to like a lot of mindless... ...I don't know what to call this.

So... Earth's internet full of pointless videos and sound bytes.

[rosswood]

and cats
and dancing hamsters
and videos of babies
and poorly rendered flash video chain emails

i never said it was good stuff but buddy its the internet they got everything

[mviw]

I see...

Then I have some serious browsing to do.