brb. (
accelerate) wrote in
entranceway2016-06-14 09:43 pm
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1 🐻 TEXT.
[ have you seen a golden streak throughout wonderland? that's barry — the flash — scoping out the place. making sure it's up to snuff and reasonably safe (ha ha, another earth being safe? oh, barry) and searching for (1) the cheshire cat (2) the caterpillar with the hookah and (3) the queen of hearts, he's found himself so disappointed not to find (4) the mad hatter. it's like he's losing this scavenger hunt no one else is playing. ]
[ he makes sure his username is BEARY 🐻 for #reasons no one will ever guess. keeping his tone cheery and upbeat, barry's close to fooling himself that he doesn't feel so empty on the inside and infinitely defeated. ]
Little Barry fell
d
o
w
n
the hole
bumped his head
and idk about my soul tbh jw if I've gone mad here??
Okay, sorry, that wasn't a real question. Siri's not even answering me so I'm guessing it's just not even a good one to ask? What kind of Wonderland doesn't even have Jitters?
Assuming I've gone mad and I'm not going to lose my head, I've decided to come to my wise fish with a specific porpoise. Fish don't go anywhere without one.
I want to know when tea-time is (seriously, guys, I'm really, really, REALLY hungry and I could use some snacks, like high on the sugar, maybe cupcakes with icing, ice-cream in the cone, chocolate ...) and if I'm invited because I kiiiiiiind of waited in the tea-room for like an hour and a half at 6PM — ON THE DOT btw — and no one turned up? Like, come on, I'm a great party guest … even though I'm over a mile high.
What do I have to do to be in the cool kid's club????
[ he makes sure his username is BEARY 🐻 for #reasons no one will ever guess. keeping his tone cheery and upbeat, barry's close to fooling himself that he doesn't feel so empty on the inside and infinitely defeated. ]
Little Barry fell
d
o
w
n
the hole
bumped his head
and idk about my soul tbh jw if I've gone mad here??
Okay, sorry, that wasn't a real question. Siri's not even answering me so I'm guessing it's just not even a good one to ask? What kind of Wonderland doesn't even have Jitters?
Assuming I've gone mad and I'm not going to lose my head, I've decided to come to my wise fish with a specific porpoise. Fish don't go anywhere without one.
I want to know when tea-time is (seriously, guys, I'm really, really, REALLY hungry and I could use some snacks, like high on the sugar, maybe cupcakes with icing, ice-cream in the cone, chocolate ...) and if I'm invited because I kiiiiiiind of waited in the tea-room for like an hour and a half at 6PM — ON THE DOT btw — and no one turned up? Like, come on, I'm a great party guest … even though I'm over a mile high.
What do I have to do to be in the cool kid's club????
text;
["Tbh jw"? Throwing around 'i's and question marks like confetti? This reads like a love letter to the weird and wacky. Son, you're gonna fit right in.]
text;
[ he's literally going to throw in more acronyms and "???" as though he's read anders' mind. (he hasn't. if he did then this message would be seriously condensed into a language anders nor barry would understand) ]
no subject
Don't feel too bad, a lot of formal invitations seemed to have gotten lost. Like the ones inviting us to stay here.
[Get comfortable with those fish puns, Barry, you'll have plenty of opportunity to use them while you kick your feet up in Wonderland's version of the Hotel California.]
no subject
No, TBH —
Sorry.
I'd be salty without any sort of code. But if I had to use a code I'd use :'( JSYK. I am def. :'( but being here? Kind of :). I'm kind of excited to play croquet with the queen. I'd totally RSVP to that invite.
Do you think I can RSVP now even though I don't have an invite yet? Don't want to be an eager beaver.
no subject
[Thank you for introducing him to such things with your strange and magnificent anime, Alphys.]
Either that or someone forgot to give me a decoder code for this conversation. But you can't fool me with emoticons, I've been mentored in the art by the very best. A space pirate taught me.
I think you should give it a whirl, see what happens. If no one shows up, keep waiting.
1/2
I think I'll save waiting for 6PM. I'll catch them. I'm pretty fast. ;)
no subject
Do you want me to decode? I've got a lot of time on my hands and TBH I'm v good. I'm a BAMF at this.
[
no subject
Reading the Wonderland books was a good introduction to gibberish, I'll get the hang of it. But what kind of bamf are we talking? I can think of a few. The bamf sound a bird makes when it hits a glass window, or a stink bomb when it deploys, to name some examples that come to mind. Not sure that's the effect you're going for.
no subject
You think of a bird flying into a window and a stink bomb when I type BAMF? You don't think of something cool? Do you KNOW anything cool? Because if you think Alice in Wonderland is gibberish, you need to see the Disney film. 10/10 would recommend when you're sitting around waiting at 6PM.
no subject
Was I not supposed to think that? Sorry, I thought that was a fill in the blank.
Ice is cool. Water is wet. Are we going somewhere with this?
no subject
We're going to ____ town.
You really want to know what TBH stands for? Scout's honor I won't lead you astray. I'm not like an unreliable navigational system, promise. But know this is a free lesson and there's a whole lot more where this one comes from. I charge a cupcake an acronym, JSYK.
And a good cupcake. None of these weak cupcakes without the sprinkles and icing on top.
no subject
[You're an odd duck, Mr. Barry Allen, and Anders is still undecided on what to make of you. It's a good thing he has some experience sharing the pond with odd ducks.]
In good faith, I'll let you in on a secret: the cupcakes come free. But all right, I'll play the student to your Mad Hatter.
[Enlighten him. Who doesn't love random acronyms?]
1/2
FYI: If you have a cupcake and you see me coming around, you're going to feel compelled to give it to me just for this. ;)
[ he doesn't include the first session of barry-educates-anders in this text. no, he has to build some suspense. get the drum roll going. cut to a commercial break. be annoying as he possibly can be because it's the best way to steer his own grief and conflicting emotions into a great vacuum of being a smartass while playing detective in an incredibly obscure and dense-like way. ]
no subject
TBH:
To
Be
Honest
USE: When you want to express you're not lying and are expressing an honest and truthful fact.
EXAMPLE:
(1) TBH, I think you're going to give me a cupcake.
(2) You are deserving of more than one cupcake tbh, Barry.
no subject
[And how long should he wait to make sure Barry's not sending any more texts...? His phone's blowing up here. Admittedly, he's a little jealous of how effortlessly Barry can type. Oh, the woes of being born in the Dark Ages.
That mock lesson is beautifully tongue-in-cheek, though, well done. If given the "would this piss Velanna off" stress test, Barry's acronym assault would easily pass. Anders approves.]
So that's what that means. I feel more educated already in the many colorful uses of capital letters already.
no subject
You don't HAVE to use capital letters, but this is the school of Bartholomew Henry Allen, so, we're a little prim and proper here. Pinkies up when you drink tea, etc.
Also YW. An acronym lesson a day makes your messages slightly more difficult to read, but at least you've improved your texting speed? #YOLO.
no subject
I never doubted you were a class act for a second. I can respect someone who demands nothing but the best sprinkles on their cupcakes.
[Maybe one day he'll even understand what Barry's trying to communicate...]
What's BAMF stand for? Barry Allen Master of Fun?
no subject
It's exactly that. I don't like to boast. It isn't classy, you know? Rule #2 of BAMF class.
What's your name? So I know who to ask for when I go to Cat Town.
no subject
A modest guy like you? I wouldn't think it.
Anders is my name, being familiar with your world and its many colorful references is not, as you might have guessed, my game.
no subject
You're funny for a dude who doesn't know acronyms.
[ people who don't know acronyms are often suspected to be like harry — grouchy, with a side of being hilarious when they don't mean to be. he doubts anders is anything like that, even if he's lacking in the whole internet lingo speak (for now). there's potential for him to be a cracker of a jokester with references up the wazoo that barry's familiar with. it's his duty to cisco to corrupt him. ]
Where are you from? Suspecting with a shaky 80% solid 99% chance I have never heard of it.
no subject
It's an uphill battle every day, but I try.
[This is definitely the humor of someone trying to mask the huge personal deficit they feel at not growing up with text-speak. Definitely. It's definitely that.]
I have a feeling you're probably right. I'm from Ferelden in a world called Thedas. We have a soft spot for complete sentences there.
1/2
I talk in
My sentences are
BRB.
no subject
If I went to Google Maps could I find Thedas on there?
no subject
Having only the faintest idea what BRB and Google Maps is supposed to be, I'm going to say... yes? Yes, you can. Sure.
[No, no, you really can't, but Barry can sure give it the old college try. He might find it somewhere between "Neverland" and "here be dragons."]
no subject
[ unsurprisingly, he doesn't. instead of letting him know that, however: ]
Found it!
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