entranceway | ▲ 5th Cipher ▲ [Audio/Video]

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▲ 5th Cipher ▲ [Audio/Video]

[Hey look guys, it’s a network post from your ole pal, Bill! No, not the lizard and shame on you for being disappointed by that revelation! Yes he is a triangle, yes he is stunning and thankfully he doesn't seem to have packed any extra entertainment to explode into his broadcast today.]

“ALL RIGHT WONDERLAND, I think it’s HIGH TIME someone ASKS the BIG QUESTION-- just HOW MANY OF YOU come from the LAND OF LIVELY CORPSES?!

I GET IT. OUR ROTTING BRETHREN are CHARMING ENOUGH. IF anything the REST of you MORTALS should be like THEM. At least ZOMBIES ACCURATELY DISPLAY the TRUE HORROR of what BEING ALIVE FEELS LIKE—slowly SHAMBLING towards your DEATH every PASSING SECOND, you CAN’T KEEP YOUR PIECES TOGETHER and all you WANNA DO IS GRRRRROAN-- But I tend to LIKE a little VARIETY in my TORTURE! SO I wanna KNOW, just how many more MINDS do we gotta CYCLE THROUGH before we’ve VISITED ALL of your TRAUMA-- because I swear, if I have to GO through ANOTHER REALITY where I FAKE a BLOOD TEST, I just might have to START STOCKING UP.”

[The triangle’s lid narrows at that, an unpleasant memory from Genosha flashing momentarily into his retina.]

“Now either we’re FAILING SOME KINDA TEST every time these SUCKERS COME BY or WONDERLAND’S started PICKING FAVORITES…”

[And if it’s the latter, he really would like to know.]

“Anyway, you KIDS LOVE CONSPIRACIES; so LAY EM on ME! I think we ALL KNOW what HAPPENS when you DON’T~”

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"Or MAYBE you just WEREN'T WORTH LOOKING AT."

[So what if it's mean?! They're the ones who came looking to insult him. Bill regards them with chilled indifference.]

"If you're LOOKING for a FIGHT you're gonna have to try HARDER than THAT! Beside, I thought MERCY was more your STYLE."

You really don't know very much about me.

[Which isn't really an answer at all, something he's doubtless picked up on.]

Not looking for FIGHT. But I think you've got better to do.

“What IS THIS an INTERVENTION?”

[Bill scoffs. He can’t tell if they mean he needs to do better at insulting them or just—ugh, morally but both options are equally insulting.]

“CLEARLY I’ve got WORSE to DO if all of you THINK I’m even CAPABLE of ‘BETTER.’”

You try to break Wonderland every time you get angry. Only it hasn't worked yet.

[They'd urge him to try harder, but they're really not interested in seeing if he can split the place across its cosmic spine. Their tone is frank as they suggest it:]

You need a hobby.

"WHAT do you CALL THIS?!"

[Talking down to lower species unnecessarily is TOTALLY a hobby.]

"I'm OLDER than MOST GALAXIES and that INCLUDES their TRADITIONAL PASTIMES. What sort of INANE ACTIVITY could POSSIBLY interest me?"

Have you tried knitting?

[It works for some self-proclaimed demons. Why not others?]

"I--uh."

[Bill tries to mock the idea but it comes so out of left field he's just left speechless. Of all the answers-- what does he even say to that? Is there a pun somewhere in there he's missing? Wait why is he actually consider--]

"NO I haven't TRIED KNITTING!! Does it LOOK like I can TOUCH anything?!"

[No puns. It's completely sincere, and their flat expression is a pronouncement of such.]

Can't you make...magic yarn and needles? Stuff you can touch?

[You know, since he's so powerful?]

[Bill huffs.]

"COURSE I CAN!"

[And just to demonstrate, he claps his hands and a hideously colored large bundle of knitted fabric falls down into waiting arm.]

"HAVE a COFFIN-COZY! Keep your UNDEAD WARM, FASHIONABLE and ALSO UNABLE to ESCAPE from their CUDDLY CONFINES when they INEVITABLY RISE AGAIN!"

[He shrugs.]

"THERE. I also made the whole FINISHED PRODUCT just as fast."

It's not about having it. It's about making it.

[Is Frisk about to devote their time and patience to teaching an isosceles eldritch abomination the merits of knitting and stress relief?]

[Like you even have to ask.]

I could get a scarf or a sweater from the closets. It's not the same as knitting it yourself.

"You're right, it's not the same, because when you can JUST GET IT you're not WASTING any EFFORT! That makes it even better!"

[How is this even an argument?]

"EITHER WAY you END UP with the THING."

Edited (D'oh I keep trying to not use the word "same") 2017-09-11 23:40 (UTC)

It's not about the destination. It's about the journey it takes to get there.

[Deploying bizarrely inappropriate adages does not make this idea any more palatable to an absurdly powerful dream demon, Frisk.]

[Eugh. Nope recoiling in disgust.]

"'And the friends we made along the way!'"

[You're losing him, Frisk.]

It's relaxing.

[Their fold their arms, stalwart. They're beginning to fill with determination, Bill. Determination to show you the merits of taking up something non-destructive for a change.]

I could listen to a song, and it would sound nice. But I also like to learn to play it, and it feels...it's almost better, because I had to work hard to do it.

"I KNOW HOW TO... relax.."

[It's- it's the thing where you sit in a chair, and possibly drink and uh, it's-- look he's a BEING of ENERGY he doesn't NEED to relax! Bill summons a coffin for his invention and sits on it, looking annoyed-- but, not annoyed enough to leave.]

"YOU'RE talking about the FEELING of 'TRIUMPH'. SATISFACTION?"

[Has he legitimately never had reason to relax before in his life?]

[This cannot stand. This might be the longest conversation they've ever had with him, and if it means there's the smallest chance that he'll turn his attentions away from possessing their friends and into something more productive and non-destructive, it's worth it.]

Feeling...calm? At peace?

[They shouldn't be feeling sorry for him, but there's something approaching bewildered sympathy in the drop of their shoulders.]

You've never felt that before?

"AIN'T that for the DEAD?"

[Hey, hey, no, what's with that body language? Stop it--]

"I don't need SLEEP or to SLOW DOWN. Why would I WILLINGLY SUBJECT myself to FOCUSING on NOTHING?"

[He always has his thoughts set ahead. There is always something to work out, a plot to scheme, another timeline to focus on instead.]

It feels nice.

[Do you always need some grandiose reason to do something, Bill?]

It's not making a plan, or...doing anything. It's just doing something for you.

[...Yes???]

"EVERYTHING I already DO is for me."

[Doesn’t everyone get that? Okay, they have to be attempting some battle of wits now with these lines of questions because Bill cannot for the life of him grasp what other purpose this could possibly serve.]

"You're- YOU'RE GETTIN WEIRD with this, KID, so lemme JOG YOUR MEMORY. I'm not HUMAN. Whatever THIS is all about-"

[He vaguely gestures because hell if he knows how to emphasize the idea of casually doing nothing??]

“It’s not—IN my BIOLOGY or however you WANNA say it.”

Monsters do it too. And robots and...everyone.

[And so do plenty of others. Robots like Turing or Legion like to partake in hobbies too, so the humanity of the one doing them hardly makes any difference at all.]

Don't you ever just want to get away from stress for a little bit?

"WHAT you CALL STRESS I CALL MOTIVATED PANIC!"

[And why get away from motivation? Still going to say he's not so special?]

"Look KID, LET me make you a D--"

[No, perhaps not the best phrasing.]

"TELL you WHAT. COME up with one CONVINCING REASON I should INDULGE in this--'

[Another vague hand gesture]

"And I'LL CONSIDER it."

[Not a deal. Just...a suggestion, okay. Frisk folds their arms for a long moment as they consider, tapping one finger along their shoulder.]

[...it's worth a shot.]

You might not be as bored.

"..."

[Well he can't exactly poke a hole in that argument...]

"I give it a 4/10; but no points for STYLE or DELIVERY."

Oh. Sorry.

[Give them a minute, here. The camera fumbles, rearranged, settled upon the surface of their desk and displaying a good portion of their half of the room - complete with pictures and drawings tacked up to the walls in an untidy sprawl of crayon sketches.]

[Other than the backdrop, the frame is empty.]

[The child enters the frame with one leg kicked up like they're auditioning for the part of a flamingo, and a handful of glitter is flung up over their head, powdering their hair and shoulders with a mat of sprinkling dust.]

[They pose dramatically.]

You might not be as bored.

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