video | A dead girl's guide to sucking
Mar. 3rd, 2019 10:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I've been thinkin'. [ Typically a dangerous thing for her to do. ] I feel like sometimes, vampires get a bad rap around here. Sometimes back home for me too, but...that's not the point. Point is, we're not all that bad, really!
[ Hear her out! Like, this definitely wasn't inspired by her guilt loop and how most of it involved her being a bloodthirsty bitchy bitch to her ex and ex's mom. Losing someone important to her wasn't worth the thrill of getting a little vengeance. ]
I know, totally hard to believe, right? But with more of my "kind" here, I don't want anyone gettin' all antsy and stuff. Not that it's happened. But it might.
[ She is most definitely not referring to a certain someone whose last name begins with an F and ends with an itz. There's probably a "fucking asshole" or two thrown in there for good measure, too. ]
So! [ She beams brightly. ] I figured I'd put together a little list to help clear the air some. Just keep in mind some of my fanged friends are weirder than others, okay?
[ After clearing her throat, she grabs her list and glances down at it to read. ]
One, just 'cause we like blood doesn't mean we're gonna go suckin' people dry. We ask permission or take donations.
[ ...Mostly true. ]
Two, we don't sleep in coffins. Like, seriously? Ugh. Why're so many movie vampires so goddamn weird? But I guess it's better than sleepin' under the floorboards like I used to have to back home. Yeah, don't ask.
Anyway, three. [ And now it's starting to get apparent that her list miiight not be super well thought out. Well, more apparent. ] We've got cool powers, but that doesn't mean we go abusin' 'em all the time. I mean, yeah, okay, I know it's obnoxious as fuck when I zip around all the time, but if you could run at like fifty miles an hour, you'd wanna do it all the time too, right? And sometimes it's fun to do stupid shit! It's--it's just cool.
[ There's a pause as she purses her lips awkwardly then gingerly puts her list down. She's begun to realize a lot of her examples boil down to LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. ]
Um. Well. I don't wanna hurt anyone. I like helpin' way more than bein' terrifyin'. [ Then, after a longer pause: ] That's all for now. Bye.
[ Thanks for listening to the unofficial vampire ambassador's TED talk. ]
[ Hear her out! Like, this definitely wasn't inspired by her guilt loop and how most of it involved her being a bloodthirsty bitchy bitch to her ex and ex's mom. Losing someone important to her wasn't worth the thrill of getting a little vengeance. ]
I know, totally hard to believe, right? But with more of my "kind" here, I don't want anyone gettin' all antsy and stuff. Not that it's happened. But it might.
[ She is most definitely not referring to a certain someone whose last name begins with an F and ends with an itz. There's probably a "fucking asshole" or two thrown in there for good measure, too. ]
So! [ She beams brightly. ] I figured I'd put together a little list to help clear the air some. Just keep in mind some of my fanged friends are weirder than others, okay?
[ After clearing her throat, she grabs her list and glances down at it to read. ]
One, just 'cause we like blood doesn't mean we're gonna go suckin' people dry. We ask permission or take donations.
[ ...Mostly true. ]
Two, we don't sleep in coffins. Like, seriously? Ugh. Why're so many movie vampires so goddamn weird? But I guess it's better than sleepin' under the floorboards like I used to have to back home. Yeah, don't ask.
Anyway, three. [ And now it's starting to get apparent that her list miiight not be super well thought out. Well, more apparent. ] We've got cool powers, but that doesn't mean we go abusin' 'em all the time. I mean, yeah, okay, I know it's obnoxious as fuck when I zip around all the time, but if you could run at like fifty miles an hour, you'd wanna do it all the time too, right? And sometimes it's fun to do stupid shit! It's--it's just cool.
[ There's a pause as she purses her lips awkwardly then gingerly puts her list down. She's begun to realize a lot of her examples boil down to LOOK WHAT I CAN DO. ]
Um. Well. I don't wanna hurt anyone. I like helpin' way more than bein' terrifyin'. [ Then, after a longer pause: ] That's all for now. Bye.
[ Thanks for listening to the unofficial vampire ambassador's TED talk. ]