3rd Snow fall / text

[spiritofgoodness]

[ Snow hasn't slept since she woke up. For the first time in so long, she's had nightmares about the burning room in the Netherworld, of being trapped in flames the way she was during the sleeping curse. So, she simply isn't going to sleep until she can talk to Regina and see about some kind of potion or magic that can put her under without having to dream of anything at all. Hopefully, something like that exists.

But this means that she's dwelling on what happened. Her death in protecting Emma, the fact that her daughter was indoctrinated anyway. And that leads her to late night texting. ]

For those of you that have family here, how do you deal with the idea that you can't always protect them?

[ It's not a concept that's new to Snow. She held her newborn in her arms for all of thirty seconds before putting her in a wardrobe that took her so far away. Snow has fought magic, ogres and Lost Boys for her daughter but this time she failed. This time, she couldn't keep the worst from happening. ]

I realize it's a broad question. But I'm not sure I've ever thought I couldn't protect my daughter before. Not until the past few days happened. Maybe I just needed to get the words out. It's much easier to type them than to admit them out loud.

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[uncoils]

[Jolyne goes to answer, then stops, realizing how incredibly weird it feels that she can actually answer this. It's not something she's ever really thought about before.]

My uncle's here. He's usually pretty good about taking care of himself, so I just kind of hope that he can. Especially since I can't always be there to help him out when Wonderland decides to make everything hell.

[Like during that last event, but she's trying to not dwell on that. She's not really winning that mental fight right now though.]

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[spiritofgoodness]

Wonderland does make it difficult to always know you can help.

[ But that leads her to a different question. ]

Are you glad he's here? I only mean in the sense of knowing him being here means that he has to go through these things. I know it must be a relief, not being alone.

[text]

[jivitadana]

I think they feel the same way about you.

[It didn't quite answer her question, but maybe it would speak to the feeling she had and the feeling they had for her too.]

[text]

[spiritofgoodness]

I don't think you're wrong.

[ She knows Henry's having a hard time with this, thinking he should have saved them both. Apples don't fall far from family trees. ]

But as a mother who lost my daughter once, I never wanted anything to happen to her again.

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[thesamurai]

You're going to be okay, Snow. You did everything you could, it's all any of us can do when the world comes at us.

[ Michonne's lost two children, and she knows this guilt deeply. ]

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[spiritofgoodness]

This is the second time I've lost her, Michonne. The second time I couldn't protect her from something.

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[oneagainstall]

This place seems ready to throw all kinds of bullshit our way, sometimes it catches you off guard, happens to everyone and if they say it doesn't. they're fucking lying. So you failed her this time. Learn from it, do better. Next time, you'll be prepared.

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[spiritofgoodness]

This is the second time. Granted, the incidents are 28 years apart. But I've still failed as a parent twice now.

[ But she is bound and determined not to let anything else happen to Emma ever again. Even if Snow has to add another death to her count. ]

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[nodogsonthemoon]

you just gotta have faith that theyll be able to protect themselves sometimes. its hard when you cant help them but all you can do is try to be prepared for the next time something bad happens

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[spiritofgoodness]

Wonderland makes it amazingly difficult to prepare. Most of the time, we don't even know what to prepare for. Or, maybe if I were a better parent, I could come up with something.

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[kryptomight]

( he may be small but jon--understands this pain better than he really ever wanted to. it sucks, a lot, not being able to protect someone, especially-- )

My mom's here. Sometimes it--really hurts when something happens and I can't do anything to protect her, but I know that it goes both ways. Um. . I don't really know how anyone's supposed to deal with that, I guess? I just try to be as strong as I can.

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[spiritofgoodness]

[ No one needs to see her puffy eyes, but it feels odd to reply via text when she can see him, so she settles on audio. ]

It's certainly not easy to try and cope with. Sometimes being strong isn't easy, but it's good to always try.

[ She's not usually out of hope speeches and positivity, but here, she tries to muster up a little. ]

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[modore]

I don't have any family here, but there's someone I really want to protect.

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[spiritofgoodness]

Family doesn't have to be who's related to you by blood. It's admirable that you want to protect someone else that way.

Have you been successful in Wonderland so far?

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[nomorules]

Unless you're a literal indestructible superhero, you're only human, man.

My family's not here, so maybe it's different not having that weighing on me, but I got a mom who busts her ass off for me. A kid knows when their parents are already doing everything they can. They ain't going to be disappointed you didn't do more than you could.

And you're here together, you get to deal with this shit as a team. That counts for a hell of a lot.

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[spiritofgoodness]

Wonderland proved that no matter what I thought I was, I'm certainly not indestructible.

[ It still hurts, dying. Not physically, of course, but in other ways. ]

Thank you, for saying that. It helps, really.

[ She's being serious; Emma and Henry know she tried, and Snow just needs to pull it together to be there for the two of them. ]

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[kingtrousele]

[Oh geez, isn't that the question of the week? That's been on Papyrus's mind for a while too.]

WELL, FOR ONE THING, I KNOW THAT MY BROTHER IS VERY FORMIDABLE IN BATTLE. IF HE GETS INTO REAL TROUBLE, I KNOW THAT HE'LL BE ABLE TO GET OUT OF HARM'S WAY IN NO TIME AT ALL, AS WELL AS DISH OUT A FEW ATTACKS OF HIS OWN!! SO, USUALLY, I'M NOT WORRIED ABOUT HIS SAFETY IN MOST SITUATIONS.

[Most. But...]

STILL...I...THINK I SEE WHERE YOU'RE COMING FROM?? I'M NOT 100% SURE HOW TO DEAL WITH IT EITHER. AS SOON AS I KNOW HOW, I'LL LET YOU KNOW, THOUGH!!

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[spiritofgoodness]

[ Papyrus raises a good point. Emma's perfectly capable of handling herself, she had for years without Snow. ]

My daughter can protect herself, too, and she's amazing at it. But there are those few times I feel as if I could have done more to help. if you do ever find out, we should get together and talk it out over hot cocoa.

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[keephersafe]

[Guess who figured out text-to-speech? This guy! Good thing, too, because he's also figured out that there's a whole host of things he's been missing by not working it out sooner.]

Don't have any... here... but... [He pauses, tripping over his own thoughts as he tells himself that it isn't what she asked and wonders why he's speaking at all.]

Back home. There's someone I want to k-... keep safe. And I don't know if I can.

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[spiritofgoodness]

[ Aw, progress! Way to go, R :') ]

Your world is dangerous, I know. I imagine the feeling is the same about someone you care about being here. There are too many things outside our control to make it feasible to always protect them. I know that, logically.

[ And yet, here she is, making this announcement on the network. ]

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[revokes]

you deal with it.

[ way to go, tony stark. ]

or you don't. there are ways to do that too.

heavy drinking

social isolation

all the fun stuff.

[ but you know what? he just got back from home, the fear she's talking about is fresh in his bones and so: ]

you try.

that's all you can do. you try your damn hardest and hope it'll be enough.

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[spiritofgoodness]

[ Well, he's not wrong. But she still huffs a little. ]

You sound like you speak from experience.

I can't understand how doing my hardest was literally dying and it still wasn't enough.

[ It just feels like a fail to her. You protect the people you love with an ultimate sacrifice, and still, something terrible happens to them. ]

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[cursebreaking]

[It's strange, perhaps, to be sending her mother a text over something so heavy, something so significant to the both of them, but she can't quite bring herself to call— or even to approach her in person with this topic in mind, at least not without her mother's express permission.

Snow isn't the only one who feels she'd failed to protect someone.]

Can we talk? Meet somewhere?

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[spiritofgoodness]

[ Snow takes a breath and lets it out slowly to keep from tearing up just at that message, but she does text back fairly quickly. ]

Of course. You could just come here, to my room? Or I can come to you.

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[agentxthirteen]

It's a special sort of hell. It isn't just the events. It's how you never know when you might wake up and they're gone.

I'm lucky - I've known that the people I care about here could protect themselves. I have to trust that they'll be okay even if I can't protect them.

This place... [ She pauses as she puts together the words as best she can. ] It forces you to accept how little power you have. All you can do is what you can, and then hope for the best. [ She doesn't add that the worst still happens. Either the people you care about leave, or you leave them. Either way, people suffer. ]

text; private

[spiritofgoodness]

[ Snow hadn't even really considered waking up and finding everyone gone before. Though years of practice, while she was cursed, would make that pain go numb fairly quickly, she thinks. ]

I've been through this before, this exact pain. I thought I could cope with it better than I am, but I'm not.