accidental video
Nov. 5th, 2014 05:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Remember, remember, the fifth of November. [She's heard that somewhere before. Not that she can name the source when she mumbles it then, but it runs through her head a lot. She has every reason to remember, although hers aren't the same as most. Other people are remembering down at the beach, and normally a party like Bonfire Night might be something Zatanna went to and relished. It sounds like fun, which isn't exactly something that happens a ton in Wonderland. But even if yesterday just hadn't happened, it's still November 5th. She'd know it even if she hadn't just checked her phone's date and time for the hundredth time that hour. The difference this time is that the phone decides to start recording when she sets it down at her side. It isn't easy to tell, but she's up on the roof, sitting at the edge and looking out into the distance.]
I don't know what I'm doing. Bet you never thought I'd say that, huh?
[These aren't words she means to share; the entire day she's spent as alone as she can manage, sparing a friendly smile for anyone she runs into, but not a genuine one. It hasn't been a year exactly, yet she can't argue with the date, or what her heart feels when she remembers what happened the last time she went through this day at home. So she talks to the person who isn't there, who she hadn't opened up to nearly so much as she should have when he had been. He'd always been so overprotective, right up to the point where he took her place as a prisoner.]
I mean, I'm trying. I've practiced a lot; it's not like there's anything else to do here anyway. But my magic still isn't strong enough. [Not to save a single soul, much less somehow escape Wonderland with her memories in tact. When she goes home, she has to be strong enough to stop Fate, to have the right spell and get past the magic that keeps his helmet in place. Zatanna leans forward, arms tightly wrapped at her waist.] I haven't been able to save anyone.
[So how on earth does she save him?
It seemed so much easier back home, as part of a Team. Yet they aren't in Wonderland either; no one from her world is, and the loneliness from that weighs more heavily on her now than it has since her arrival. They'd believed in her, even when she doubted her own ability. Zatanna draws an arm forward so she can look down at her hand, and for a moment she can almost hear Robin's encouragement. But he isn't there either, no more than Artemis or M'gann or anyone.
No more than Zatara. He hadn't always been a hero either, although she isn't old enough to remember when he wasn't. He never wanted her to live this life, even as he taught her magic and watched her grow. And in turn, she never understood why, just accounted it to him being her dad and smootheringly overprotective. She'd wished he'd lay off so she could join the Team, just before Zatara and every other adult vanished that day. Her breath catches, because even though they weren't they weren't her last words nor were they even spoken to him, she remembers, and regrets them so much.]
I'm sorry, Dad. [For every failure and faltering. For her own powerlessness at Wonderland and back home. She swallows hard, the tears she'd long expected starting to fall as she trembles for a reason far different than November's chill.]
I don't know what I'm doing. Bet you never thought I'd say that, huh?
[These aren't words she means to share; the entire day she's spent as alone as she can manage, sparing a friendly smile for anyone she runs into, but not a genuine one. It hasn't been a year exactly, yet she can't argue with the date, or what her heart feels when she remembers what happened the last time she went through this day at home. So she talks to the person who isn't there, who she hadn't opened up to nearly so much as she should have when he had been. He'd always been so overprotective, right up to the point where he took her place as a prisoner.]
I mean, I'm trying. I've practiced a lot; it's not like there's anything else to do here anyway. But my magic still isn't strong enough. [Not to save a single soul, much less somehow escape Wonderland with her memories in tact. When she goes home, she has to be strong enough to stop Fate, to have the right spell and get past the magic that keeps his helmet in place. Zatanna leans forward, arms tightly wrapped at her waist.] I haven't been able to save anyone.
[So how on earth does she save him?
It seemed so much easier back home, as part of a Team. Yet they aren't in Wonderland either; no one from her world is, and the loneliness from that weighs more heavily on her now than it has since her arrival. They'd believed in her, even when she doubted her own ability. Zatanna draws an arm forward so she can look down at her hand, and for a moment she can almost hear Robin's encouragement. But he isn't there either, no more than Artemis or M'gann or anyone.
No more than Zatara. He hadn't always been a hero either, although she isn't old enough to remember when he wasn't. He never wanted her to live this life, even as he taught her magic and watched her grow. And in turn, she never understood why, just accounted it to him being her dad and smootheringly overprotective. She'd wished he'd lay off so she could join the Team, just before Zatara and every other adult vanished that day. Her breath catches, because even though they weren't they weren't her last words nor were they even spoken to him, she remembers, and regrets them so much.]
I'm sorry, Dad. [For every failure and faltering. For her own powerlessness at Wonderland and back home. She swallows hard, the tears she'd long expected starting to fall as she trembles for a reason far different than November's chill.]