+ some wonderlands are kind

[A camera flickers on in an old, dusty, blue room. It looks undisturbed, but not for long.

Alice, instead of using her ability to appear suddenly in places, has decided to climb back to Real Side while the glass is still missing from the mirrors for some reason. They're placed a little higher up than is comfortable for her, so once her weight is more on Real Side she goes tumbling down and bounces off the dresser and onto the floor.]

Ow...

[She rubs her side, but then she gets up quickly and addresses the camera.]

I heard--! I just heard about the Queens, and the Jabberwocky, and--! And are we not going to have Queens anymore? Who's going to rule Wonderland? I certainly don't trust Wonderland to do it, and I don't want to.

[She gasps.]

Oh no. What if it wants me to? I really, really don't want to be Queen again.

[She cups her hands around her mouth and shouts at the ceiling.]

WONDERLAND? WONDERLAND, IF YOU CAN HEAR ME...I don't want to be Queen of any Side! I resign preemptively! A-And I resign as Royal Adviser as well! I don't want any part of this ridiculous monarchy any more! I...

[Alice loses steam with that declaration and sighs. This time, she addresses the camera. She looks a little tired, but she smiles.]

...I think I'm just going to stay here again, if that's alright with all of you? The Mirrors don't care for me very much now anyway and I really, really just want to be Alice and no one else. With the Queen of Hearts truly gone, it might really be safe now.

[A pause, and then sheepishly she says:] ...I'm back. For good this time.

[When the camera turns on, Alice is just out of frame, revealing an empty tea room.]

Everyone! I have something very important to tell you! The next event, I'm not entirely certain why or what else is going on but--

[--Alice pops up from the bottom of the screen, dressed up as a cat! It is quite literally the cat's pajamas.]

We get to wear costumes all weekend! It sounds like so much fun that I decided to dress up too to tell you. I think I'd want to go as my cat Dinah. I like to think she would appreciate the tribute. After all, I'm her biggest fan! What would you dress as? Or who?

[That seems to be most of the announcement, but then Alice looks a bit sheepish and glances downward, hiding some of her face in her hood.]

...I wanted to apologize too. For the seance, and for everything that happened because of it. I promise, I had no idea that would happen or I wouldn't have done it. And I absolutely won't do it again. I'm...I'm really sorry for messing everything up.

[With that, Alice shuts off the camera.]

[Alice, when she appears on camera, is about as amused as a wet cat - probably because she's absolutely soaking wet in the entrance hall. She's back in her royal adviser outfit, though it doesn't look quite so fancy when it's soaked through completely.]

What on EARTH is going on?! It almost never rains in Wonderland, and now it's storming?

[She tries to wring the water out of her hair, but it's not really doing much good.]

I was going to make my message outside, and I just appeared out there and got caught in the middle of whatever that is! I don't think it's an event? It can't be, because I was going to talk about one. What was it though...?

[She tries to think, tries to remember...but then she just groans.]

I don't even remember what I was going to say anymore! Ugh! This place is just so...BAD!

[Alice tries to shake some more water off herself, but then decides this message is just hopeless, and cuts it there.]

[It might take a moment to for some to recognize who is sending out this message. Instead of her standard clothing, Alice wears a fancy uniform now - a blue dress so pale it's nearly white and a pair of glasses that she doesn't really need but she thinks they make her seem sharp. She's a tiny twelve-year-old professional (or more accurately, twelve and one hundred and fifty three) and she's standing in front of a board.]

Hello everyone! It's been so long since I've come to tell of an event, but I promise I've had good reason. You see, I've been serving as her Royal Majesty the White Queen's Royal Adviser! I was a Queen once you know, and while I was absolutely terrible at it...maybe I can help her keep from making the mistakes I made!

[She seems hopeful and enthusiastic about the chance to do something good for Wonderland.]

Anyway, that's not why I'm here though. There's going to be another event soon! I think my impressions of them aren't quite as good as they used to be, but I do know a little bit. I know there's going to be quite a bit of farming, and even pumpkins! It's nice when things are seasonally appropriate, isn't it? But...there was also some law-breaking? Maybe murder? [She wiggles her hand in an "eh" sort of way.] It was all rather unclear so I've taken the opportunity to come up with some possibilities!

[She dramatically flips the board around so everyone can see all of her pitches, scrawled across the whole board. They are as follows:]

1. STEAL A FARMER'S PUMPKIN -> MURDER IT INTO A JACK O'LANTERN -> GO TO JAIL FOR STEALING
2. ATONE FOR CRIMES BY BAKING PUMPKIN PIES -> MUST FARM ALL INGREDIENTS -> FARMING IS DIFFICULT!!! :(
3. ARRIVE AT SPOOKY OLD FARM -> MUST FARM TO APPEASE MEAN GHOST -> IT WAS FARMER JENKINS ALL ALONG! -> FARMER JENKINS GOES TO JAIL (THANKS MEDDLING KIDS!!! :) )
4. INVASION OF THE PUMPKINS! -> MUST SAVE WONDERLAND FROM PUMPKIN MURDER BY FARMING -> THROW PUMPKINS IN JAIL PIT (REQUIRES DIGGING JAIL PIT)

Now...I don't know if any of these are right exactly but it's somewhere to start at least. I'd love to hear any other ideas anyone has, if any of this sounds familiar to anyone! Maybe we can figure it out before it happens!

[The first thing anyone sees, even before the person posting...is a little pig, in one of the tea rooms. It snuffles and sniffles and sweeps the room for signs of danger, and once it is satisfied it trots away.

Then in a blink, Alice is standing in the middle of the room, pig cradled in her arms. And for the first time ever on the network, her face has wide blue eyes. She's a bit frantic, but otherwise unharmed.]

I think I'm starting to get used to doing that on purpose... Ah, hello everyone! It's...been some time, hasn't it?

[Even Alice can't seem to hide the fact that it's rather awkward to suddenly have eyes when she did not before. The pig squirms and she lets it down, as she's discovered it's wisest to listen to what the Duchess' pig wants.]

I'm so sorry to interrupt everything, but I need to warn you all! Something-- something terrible is going to happen soon! I don't want to cause anyone alarm, but it may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you.

[It's all distressing, and Alice crouches down to the pig's level so she can play with it's ears absently as she talks. It lets her.]

I'm afraid I still can't explain how I know, and the details are...rather distressing. But I promise, I'd never lie to all of you! I could never!

[She's adamant about that much at least. Even if her message isn't clear, there's more clarity in the way she speaks about it - she understands the importance of these messages now, in a way she'd forgotten for so long.]

Please, everyone. Take care of yourselves this weekend. I think it may be all you can do.

[Alice has decided to occupy an empty bedroom today (interestingly, not her own) and when the camera turns on she's flopped on her back on the bed, with her hair dangling over the side.]

I've been thinking a lot recently...or, well. The thought just sort of came to me, as thoughts often do. But...it must be so hard to be here when you aren't from Wonderland, isn't it? It's fine for me of course, since I live here, but...you must be very lonely, right? Being so far from home, far from the people who love you...not that you aren't loved here, or at least I hope you are. What I mean is, it must be easy to feel lost here, especially for those of you who have been here a few years, or who are here by themselves.

[She sighs.]

I suppose all you can really do is band together...I wish there was more I could do for you. Oh, but I did find this in the attic! [She rummages around off-screen and produces an instrument.] That's what I'll do! I'll play you a song, and try to cheer you all up!

[And she puts it to her lips and plays.

Badly. Very badly. It's worse than a shrieking recorder and you have to endure it for a full five minutes before the video ends.]

Very early in the morning, long before the sun rises, all is calm and quiet and still, as per usual. In the distance there's a soft rumbling, but nothing too alarming...at first. But it grows and grows and once it shakes the world too much to big ignored it will be too late to do anything. It was always too late to do anything.

Brave souls who peek outside with see a sky on fire – not a wide inferno but little matchstick flickers of gold, drawing ever closer.

And closer.

And closer.

(They may want to get out of the way.)

Each glittering, golden star brings the woosh of a sonic boom and there are impacts that shake the whole world. They crash hard into the snow, the trees, and even break through a few windows. None of them leave behind meteors or space debris, but instead just a glimmering cloud at each point of impact. In each gold light is a projection, a scene lit by starlight and moondust, a memory of years ago. Even if someone were to be struck by one, it would simply pass through them.

These are just the first stars to fall. More will come the next night, and the night after that, and perhaps even more. When budding astronomers look upward, they will notice fewer and fewer constellations dot the night sky with each passing day.

One star fell so hard it crashed right through the front door and into the entrance hall. And inside that star is the looping image of a familiar light-haired girl, with a bright smile and, something unfamiliar – large blue eyes. She is not truly there, and one could pass a hand through her if they reached out to touch, but she begins to speak:

“My, but Wonderland is just too crowded these days! Where will all the new arrivals go? I know! What if we work together to build a second mansion? We could expand! We could live together happily! You know, more or less...”

Hm...I've got the most curious feeling today. That very peculiar sensation of...repetition. I feel very much like I've felt this before, but I can't quite...

[But then, suddenly! Alice snaps her fingers and looks right into camera - staring directly into it somehow, with nothing where her eyes should be.]

Déjà vu! That's the word I've misplaced. Oh, and what a good thing I never truly lost it! Words do have a tendency to come and go in Wonderland, after all.

[Some of you know that better than others.]

The feeling is a bit sadder the second time around, don't you think so? No matter how hard you try, it will never quite be what it was before. It might seem similar, but nothing is ever exactly the same after so much time.

[Alice pouts a bit though, and shakes her head.]

Hm! What a melancholy thought. It can't possibly be so bad as all that. After all, it's only a feeling, and everyone knows that feelings can't actually hurt anyone. It's always feelings themselves that get hurt.

[Yes, that's much better. And with that the camera flickers off all by itself.]

Hm...it's gotten colder all of a sudden, hasn't it? Though, I suppose that does happen in autumn. It's so much darker too, isn't it?

[He hums, thinking over this thought as though it's something particularly new to this season. It's not, but it feels...important, in a way Alice can't define.]

Autumn feels...almost unreal that way. Like the setting for a scary story by a fire. [Her face lights up that the thought!] Oh, wouldn't that be fun though? Does anyone have any spooky stories to tell?

Either way...we must be certain to close the doors. They shouldn't be even the slightest bit ajar! After all, we wouldn't the darkness to come inside and get us!

[And she twiddles her fingers at the screen, as if that's a particularly terrifying thought, but she ends the broadcast with a laugh - scary stories are so much fun, aren't they?]

[When the transmission begins, Alice is in a tearoom having a cup of tea. Though, should anyone attempt to find her, they will find all of the tea rooms empty.]

That was a nice party, wasn't it? It's a shame everyone had to go home before they spoiled - I would have loved to have that many people here all the time! Everyone would have friends everywhere and not a single soul would be lonely. It sounds absolutely grand. The more the merrier, right? Isn't that how that saying goes?

[She hums thoughtfully.

But is more merrier? A person can be perfectly merry on their own, if they want to. How does one go about measuring merriness, I wonder? Is there some sort of merriness scale? Though, maybe that's not right either. I don't think merriness weighs anything so it would be silly to use a scale. You'd have to use a cup, I think! Or maybe it's the sort of thing you count and whoever has the most merriness is the merriest! That sounds about right. It must be a countable sort of thing. An accountable sort of thing?

[They sound like they could be interchangeable, so she shrugs it off and lets it go. Sort of.]

Or, wait. No, perhaps it's how much merriness you can fit inside of you. This might need to be solved with a merriness-eating contest. Then whoever eats the most merriness would be the most merry! That's absolutely brilliant, if I do say so myself!

Does anyone else have any good ideas?

I have a question for everyone! I've just thought of it now, suddenly, and I'd love to hear everyone's thoughts on the matter!

I've heard stories about Superheroes, you know. There have never been any Superheroes native to Wonderland, of course, but sometimes they pass through now and then. They're very interesting, with all their colorful costumes and powers and gadgets!

But I was wondering - what makes a Superhero super? Where do they come from? How do they get so super in the first place? Is there a Superhero factory, perhaps, where you drop an ordinary person in one end and they come out the other more super than ever? Or maybe there's an entire world of Superheroes where Superheroes aren't terribly super because everyone is super! If that makes any sense at all, which it might not. I've never been known to make much sense.

But does anyone know how Superheroes are so super? Is there something that makes them super? I suppose what I'm asking is...could anyone do it?

So, that was exciting, wasn't it? Like a caucus race on a stormy beach!

I'm very glad everyone figured out the door though. I could have never gotten something like that. It would have been like trying to drink tea straight out of the pot without eating the leaves by mistake. And that would be just dreadful; no one wants to eat tea leaves. But congratulations to everyone else!

Oh, but I wonder what's going to happen next? I'm about as curious as a goldfish in the big wide ocean. It should be something grand, like elephants on parade! Or circus full of adorable monkeys.

Sigh. Wouldn't a circus be fun? I'd really like one. But I don't think it will be that, this time...

This winter weather is so depressing! Don't misunderstand - I love snow and ice-skating and hot cocoa and cookies and a nice cup of tea by a warm fire, but I can't get warmer places out of my mind lately!

The warm sun beating down on us in some mysterious new place - with lots of sand, like a beach! But oh, not a beach. We already have a beach, so that's not really new. No - that's not what I'm thinking of. It would have to be some kind of fantastic adventure! The kind of adventure that's just scary enough. Wouldn't that be just marvelous? We could go exploring, and make sandmen, and have summer in December!

Oh, but it's a shame we don't have something like that in Wonderland. I think I might just be dreaming out loud again. I suppose I do that a lot, don't I...?

[The former Queen Alice is once again just plain old Alice the Ordinary Eyeless Girl, in her first appearance post-Queendom. It must be for something really important, right?]

I wonder what root beer and cider will taste like together? Oh, I suppose they will be twice as sparkling! I never really understood why they called it sparkling though - it doesn't sparkle the way stars and sparklers do.

But either way, I suppose it shall work nicely! It must not be real cider then. No, it must be medicine. Or a potion! A magic potion to cure all the ails that ail you. Or ills you. Or makes you nauseous. Something like that, I'm sure!