goodnightlisteners: (Default)
[personal profile] goodnightlisteners
[What's a radio announcer to do in a place that has no radio and, worse still, no news updates?]

[Well, do the news, of course.]

Is this place a prison, or a sanctuary? You could ask the same about life itself. You could ask the same about many things. Wonderland.

Play us in, Disparition. )
androidhell: (this isn't brave.  it's murder.)
[personal profile] androidhell
[ If there were to be a thing worse than GLaDOS shouting out to the entire mansion on this particular evening, it could be a number of things. Unfortunately, it's just another version of GLaDOS, one much less mild than her usual counterpart and with a much higher desire to rack up a body count. ]

I hope you've been enjoying your weekend. In case you haven't, I've left a few surprises around the mansion. If you can find them, you win! And you'll know when you've found them. Trust me. You're going to make a killing off this one.

[ Unsurprisingly, the malicious android has let loose a number of turrets in various places around the mansion. They can be easily tipped over, which will deactivate them, or just generally destroyed. However, they will fire bullets at a high rate if they spy a target, so. Move carefully.

More troublesome, probably, is the neurotoxin that she's flooded the library with, which will kill any unknowing user in five minutes. ]
androidhell: (you monster.)
[personal profile] androidhell
I know how worried you all are about the organic killing machines. I can sympathize. And you know what? I've found that your new furry friends really don't do well against deadly lasers. Who knew?

I've secured a safe room on the first floor. Follow the trails of mutilated hounds.

Oh. I should mention. The door has an electronic lock that I just can't seem to control. But you can probably open it if you can work through the algorithm on the door.

No, don't bother. You can thank me whenIF you get in here.
donttestme: (Ready)
[personal profile] donttestme
[It's night of day one. There is howling and screaming outside, and a vague warning from the Red Queen in Chell's head.

Normally she'd be content to hide in her 'safety bunker' with Jack and wait it out. But after the chess match... And with this much warning... And after everything Wonderland's done to her in general...

Chell wants to fight back this time. A little, at least - no guarantee that she'll stay out of the bunker for the entire event, but an effort will be made.

So she turns on her communicator to address the network.

... She's hesitant, as GLaDOS is most certainly watching her. But then, she reasons, this is more important than pride. (Just a little.)]

I'm going to set traps. Inside the mansion.

[She's more familiar with that than with working outdoors... And that's Daryl's field, besides.]

... I might need some help.

[That's hard to admit, but it's practical to do it. More hands means more traps, more minds (might) mean better traps.

There's a little pause as she tries to figure out what to add - then she just nods instead, and ends the feed.]
androidhell: (i don't feel corrupt.)
[personal profile] androidhell
[ There are a few odd things going on in the mansion today. For example, there is a strange, orange gel splashed from the bottom of the steps, across the lobby, and all the way to the front door. Should someone step on it, that someone would sliiiiide right on by, as Propulsion Gel tends to do that.

Additionally, each floor has one strange cube sitting randomly in the hall. It doesn't move, speak, or do much of anything except to be mildly cute.

Of course, the cameras are watching. And by extension, one very attentive AI. ]
androidhell: (been really busy being dead.)
[personal profile] androidhell
Imagine your entire life and every piece of it, including the pieces of you, are all in one place. Happy. Well-adjusted. No longer a potato. And just when you think things have gone back to regulation, this happens.

You know. This. Honestly, I'd blame it on the drugs that some of you seem to love so much, but that would only work on you. Human bodies. So it's not that. And please, someone play the magic card. I love hearing about that completely illogical explanation. Really.

Anyway. Now that I've found myself almost without test subjects, I admit. I'm bored. This has to be remedied. Trust me, you won't like me when I'm bored.
androidhell: (maybe they worked at the phone company.)
[personal profile] androidhell
[ There's a series of sounds before there's a voice; whirring, clicking, a few strange snaps and such. All mechanical, partly electronic. And then there's the android voice from a while earlier, tone neutral. Maybe with the slightest tint of worn-out, for those with good discernment. ]

Well, I've certainly learned more about you all that I ever wanted to know. For the people who discovered the cameras, don't touch them. For the people who didn't know there were cameras until right now, congratulations. And don't touch them.

Do you know what kind of insanity this place is? Think about it. A marvel of defying logic, and you morons are wrapping up in the domestic to keep warm.

If anyone's interested in progress, I need test subjects. Luckily, I have no itch in this place, so you probably won't end up donating any limbs to science.
androidhell: (you are kidding me.)
[personal profile] androidhell
[ Listen. Can you hear it? Playing just audibly enough on everyone's devices.

A minute of silence passes. What follows is a voice, feminine, though robotic. It may be an android, or a human voice that's been masked somehow. ]

I realize this may be someone's idea of a joke. And I like jokes. Really. I had the sarcasm self-test playback all ready for when I figured out what was going on and incinerated the person responsible.

So. Congratulations for beating the odds and literally doing the impossible in bringing me here. Put me back. You don't want me to ask "in person."

The first person with any reliable or useful information will receive cake.


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