M e s s a g e 3 8

[curiousher]

[The first thing anyone sees, even before the person posting...is a little pig, in one of the tea rooms. It snuffles and sniffles and sweeps the room for signs of danger, and once it is satisfied it trots away.

Then in a blink, Alice is standing in the middle of the room, pig cradled in her arms. And for the first time ever on the network, her face has wide blue eyes. She's a bit frantic, but otherwise unharmed.]

I think I'm starting to get used to doing that on purpose... Ah, hello everyone! It's...been some time, hasn't it?

[Even Alice can't seem to hide the fact that it's rather awkward to suddenly have eyes when she did not before. The pig squirms and she lets it down, as she's discovered it's wisest to listen to what the Duchess' pig wants.]

I'm so sorry to interrupt everything, but I need to warn you all! Something-- something terrible is going to happen soon! I don't want to cause anyone alarm, but it may very well be the worst thing that's ever happened to you.

[It's all distressing, and Alice crouches down to the pig's level so she can play with it's ears absently as she talks. It lets her.]

I'm afraid I still can't explain how I know, and the details are...rather distressing. But I promise, I'd never lie to all of you! I could never!

[She's adamant about that much at least. Even if her message isn't clear, there's more clarity in the way she speaks about it - she understands the importance of these messages now, in a way she'd forgotten for so long.]

Please, everyone. Take care of yourselves this weekend. I think it may be all you can do.

Comments

[curiousher]

[Her eyes are watering something terrible, and she stops to rub the tears away.

She knows it isn't a promise he can keep. She knows people tried so hard the first time...they had no way of knowing what would happen to her, but they tried their best to save her. They all wanted to keep their promises.

Still, even after more than one hundred and fifty years in Wonderland, she's still twelve and she's still hopeful deep down.]

O-Okay. [She nods, and tries to sound more firm.] Okay.

[postictal]

[If there’s any way to not let her down, to keep this from happening again - he’ll take it. It’s worth preserving one of the only residents who seems to still remember that she isn’t really from here at all, assuming the rest suffered the same fate.]

[At least they can say they’re prepared this time.]

And...hey. Thanks for the warning.

[curiousher]

You're welcome. It's the least I could do to help, and to make up for not having been helpful before.

[Not that she could really help or control that, but she can certainly do something about it now.]

[postictal]

That wasn't your fault.

[That much, at least, he can say. It wasn't her fault, because this is just what Wonderland does to people. It strips them all away, tears apart their memories, feeds on them until they're just as illogical and babbling and disconnected as anyone else who's lived here for long enough.]

[curiousher]

Maybe, but...

[She can't help feeling like it was, even so.]

...it doesn't change that I didn't do much good before. Now that I can really be useful, I want to do my best.

[postictal]

You're not important just - based on how useful you are. Okay?

[Maybe that's the sort of assessment someone more pragmatic would make - George, possibly, at least externally - but not him. If that were his style, he'd sure as hell have made sure he wasn't a part of the whole investigation in the first damn place.]

[curiousher]

[She hesitates again, but...eventually, she nods. It's a small gesture, but an important one.]

...Okay. Thank you. That's kind of you.

[She's sure not everyone feels that way. Not when people have come to depend on these messages.]

[postictal]

[Now would probably be the best time for a small, encouraging smile. A pity for both of them that he's not really the best person for that, now, is he?]

Is it...weird to ask why? I mean, some people here aren't really - they're kinda yelling at you. I mean, I dunno, I guess - why're you still trying to help us? [He wouldn't blame her for not wanting to, is his point.]

[curiousher]

Because now that my memories are back, I remember what it's like to be on the other side of these messages. I've puzzled over thousands of nonsensical posts, trying to help figure out what they could possibly mean before events happened. I was never very good at it though...

[She was a normal captive, once. She was someone who had just been plucked from her world and went through events like everyone else.]

People are right to be cautious, but...if I can make things at all easier, I want to do my best. Even if I can't please everyone.

[postictal]

[One corner of his mouth twitches slightly. His gaze drops for an instant, fighting back the shiver of something he can't put a name to. Familiarity, maybe. He pushes the thought roughly aside the moment it occurs to him.]

[The desperate, fierce desire to make sure that other people don't endure what you've gone through. Doing whatever you can to prevent it.]

[Maybe he understands that a little too well.]

That...makes you a - it makes you a really good person, Alice.

[curiousher]

[That makes her smile, just a little. It means a lot to hear someone say it.]

Thank you. I really hope so...I want to be, at the very least!

[postictal]

I think you're trying harder than anyone else in your position would.

[If it were him...]

I know that - I would've given up by now.

[curiousher]

I don't know about that, but...I do know it's hard. It can be sort of lonely here. I've seen so many people come and go, and forgotten everyone at home but Dinah. I think...if I didn't try, I wouldn't have anyone. It's still better to be connected to people.

[Even if she gets her heart broken, and even if people don't always trust her now because she's been tainted by Wonderland.]

There was a long time where I was alone here was well - literally, on Mirror Side. I don't know. Perhaps that's a bit too dark, but I think not trying would just be a lonelier situation for me...

[postictal]

How long were you alone?

[She really is just a kid. He knows that she's just...just a kid. No matter how long she's been here, Wonderland is a strange place. It warps you. It weighs on you. And maybe it keeps you from growing the way you should, in more ways than one.]

[A kid shouldn't be left on the Mirror Side alone. Ever.]

[curiousher]

[She actually has to think about it.]

I was there...for five years, I think. I hid in the vents and stole food, so no one would find me and report me to the Queen of Hearts. By the time I was found, everyone I still knew in Wonderland was gone. No one knew who I was.

[Stories eventually stopped being passed down to new arrivals, and poor missing Alice was forgotten about.]

[postictal]

So is that when...the people started showing up? People like us?

[People she's tried to help for - maybe years now?]

[curiousher]

[She shakes her head.]

No, people like you have shown up for...hundreds of years. I came here more than one hundred and fifty years ago. The people I knew then just...they couldn't bring me back. Eventually they must have stopped trying, and...well, you know people go back to their homes all the time. After five years, there was no one who remembered I was over there.

[postictal]

[Is five years just the average lifespan? Or was it just chance? People have been here for longer than that, haven't they? Alice has. But then - Alice is pretty unique in a lot of ways. Maybe she's not the best metric for this sort of thing.]

...Alice.

[Is he asking her questions to pry? Is he doing what Jay has? Is he truly and honestly no better than that?]

[Or does he just pardon himself with the excuse that he's never going to be better than that?]

Do you know if...were the other residents ever...like you, do you think? People with lives, until Wonderland took them away?

[curiousher]

I...I'm not sure. Maybe? They come and go as well, so it's hard to keep track. There used to be a Hatter and Hare around as well, and the White Rabbit...and some of the ones we have now weren't always here.

[It isn't very comforting though, and Alice doesn't look particularly happy to be relaying this information.]

Even so, I don't think there's anything special about me. That is to say...I think it could happen to anyone, if they were here long enough.

[postictal]

Even the stuff with the...with your eyes?

[George had said she must be the exception, and he hates himself all the more for prying. Is this George? Is this Jay? Is this just him, being him?]

[God, she deserves better than this.]

[curiousher]

[Alice shrugs sadly. She wishes she had better answers for him.]

I've never heard of someone losing their eyes that way before me, but...I wouldn't rule it out. Not so long as the Queen of Hearts is still in power.

[postictal]

[All right. So he's given her question after question. Maybe now it's time to offer her some answers in turn.]

Me and...it was a bunch of us. We went to the Core. Got the Red Queen out from where she was trapped.

[curiousher]

Really!

[She's genuine in her curiosity though, and rests her chin in her hands.]

That was awfully kind of you. Though...she was keeping the Jabberwocky locked away, wasn't she? Did it get out as well, or is it still inside?

[postictal]

No idea.

[He honestly wishes he could give her a better answer than that. His eyes flick closed briefly as he grimaces.]

She said she was the only one who made it out at the moment, but...no confirmation on whether that's gonna stay the case. [She sounds - well, maybe the Red Queen is a little more favorable in Alice's eyes (har har, wow, he's a despicable human being) than the Queen of Hearts.] Is she...better than the Queen of Hearts?

[curiousher]

Hm...I'd like to think so. They're sisters, but she's a much more sensible person - and a better queen, in all honesty.

[Sense is a good thing for a monarch to have, and something the Queen of hearts could stand to have more of.]