-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling entranceWay [EW] --

[forevercapslock]

OKAY, I KNOW THIS IS COMPLETELY POINTLESS. THIS TYPING UP SHIT FOR PEOPLE TO SEE THING, I MEAN. MEMOS NEVER WORKED OUT FOR ME BEFORE, EXCEPT TO MAKE ME ARGUE WITH MYSELF ACROSS SPANS OF TEN OR FIFTEEN MINUTES IN SOME SORT OF TEMPORAL CIRCLE-JERK THAT ONLY EVER MADE ME LOOK LIKE A HUGE BULGE-SCRATCHING TOOL WHO HAS NO ONE BUT OTHER ITERATIONS OF HIMSELF TO TALK TO.
BUT I GUESS THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT I AM ANYWAY? SINCE NO ONE IS ACTUALLY READING THIS, IT'S FAIR TO SAY THAT DESPITE THE TEMPORAL LIMITATIONS OF THIS NEANDERTHAL CHAT CLIENT, I'M REALLY JUST TYPING THIS FOR MY OWN BENEFIT SO THAT I DON'T SIT HERE STARING AT A BLANK SCREEN, SCREAMING AND SCREAMING AND FUCKING SCREAMING SOME MORE UNTIL SOMETHING RUPTURES.
ANYWAY, THERE IS ACTUALLY A POINT TO THIS POINTLESS MEMO AND I'M FINALLY GETTING TO THAT. IF YOU ACTUALLY READ ALL OF THIS, HERE IT IS: THE POINT.
I AM GOING TO COME TO YOUR RESPITEBLOCK IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT
I AM GOING TO STAND NEXT TO YOUR HUMAN BED WHILE YOU SLEEP
AND I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE, EGBERT.










WHY AM I SURPRISED THAT THERE IS NO FUTURE ME CHIMING IN HERE TO TELL ME TO SHUT MY SEED FLAPS? HOW AM I GOING TO KNOW WHEN TO STOP SHOVING MY FOOT DOWN MY OWN WINDTUBE WITHOUT FUTURE ME TO TEXT-WALL ME INTO CONFUSED RAGE UNTIL I BECOME HIM AND COMPLETE THE LOOP BY SCREAMING AT PAST ME?
FUCK, I ACTUALLY MISS FUTURE ME.
YOU'VE DONE IT, UNIVERSE.
YOU'VE WON.

Comments

[aquarium_tipper]

2o diid he catch you off guard or what.
ii2 that an awkward que2tiion two a2k?

[forevercapslock]

NO.
I MEAN "NO" TO THE SECOND QUESTION.
THE ANSWER TO THE FIRST QUESTION IS "MOSTLY".
"MOSTLY" AS IN I WASN'T EXPECTING IT, BUT I WAS TURNING AROUND TO LOOK AT HIM THE FIRST TIME HE HIT ME, SO I SAW IT COME FOR SOME SMALL FRACTION OF A SECOND BEFORE I LOST A BUNCH OF TEETH AND STARTED TWITCHING LIKE I WAS NEUROLOGICALLY CHALLENGED.
WHICH I GUESS IS COSMIC RETRIBUTION FOR DROPPING YOU DOWN THE STAIRS THAT ONE TIME.

[aquarium_tipper]

ii2 that 2uppo2ed two be 2ome 2ort of euphemii2m.

[forevercapslock]

NO, I ACTUALLY DROPPED YOU DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS AND YOU LOST A BUNCH OF TEETH.
WHICH HASN'T HAPPENED TO THE ITERATION OF YOU THAT YOU CURRENTLY ARE YET, BUT FOR WHICH I GUESS I SHOULD APOLOGIZE...FUTURE-ACTIVELY?
SHIT, THERE ISN'T AN ANTONYM FOR RETROACTIVE.
WHATEVER, I'M SORRY THAT SOMEDAY FOR YOU AND SOME TIME AGO FOR ME, I DROPPED YOU DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS WHILE DRAGGING YOU AWAY FROM THE MADDENING HONKING OF A RAGE-FILLED, CRAZY-SANE JUGGALO.

[aquarium_tipper]

pro2pectiively?
ii don't know iif you can make an adverb from pro2pectiive.
eiither way that ii2 probably the fuckiing wor2t 2tory 2la2h update2 2la2h thiing2 ii 2hould but cannot look out for.
but ii thiink the very wor2t part.
ii2 that'2 the be2t explanatiion ii've ever gotten from you.
regardiing the future.

[forevercapslock]

IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, YOU STOPPED LISPING.

[aquarium_tipper]

you're fuckiing lyiing.
iit make2 2en2e but.


no.
how would ii even.
vanta2 ii 2wear iif ii get the urge two go roboradiia'2 hour of experiimentatiion wiith thii2.

[forevercapslock]

ACTUALLY, YOU DID GET THE SAME HOLLOW SPOOKY KIND OF QUIRK SHE HAD. WITH THE 0'S INSTEAD OF O'S.

[aquarium_tipper]

you know.
ii've pretty much been under the a22umptiion that ii diied after that really 2hiitty 2howdown.
maybe thii2 ii2 iindiirectly why.
ii'm tryiing to haunt your a22 becau2e you fuckiing knocked my teeth out.

[forevercapslock]

IF IT WEREN'T FOR THAT SHITTY SHOWDOWN, I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO DRAG YOU AROUND AT ALL, SO I WOULDN'T HAVE DROPPED YOU DOWN THE STAIRS.
SO LETS JUST AGREE TO BLAME AMPORA FOR EVERYTHING.

[aquarium_tipper]

yeah okay that ii2 2omethiing ii can do.
ii haven't thought about hiim iin a long tiime WOW FUCK.
diid you know.
iit'2 been 2omethiing liike a human year 2iince ii la2t 2aw feferii?
up there on the lii2t of reelly fuckiing weiird two thiink about.

[forevercapslock]

IT'S BEEN ABOUT THAT LONG SINCE I SAW HER, NOT COUNTING THE TIME I'VE BEEN HERE.
BUT OBVIOUSLY THAT DOESN'T MEAN THE SAME THING FOR ME AS IT DOES FOR YOU.

[aquarium_tipper]

ii thiink for a whiile ii wa2 really 2tuck iin that brand new relatiion2hiip pha2e.
ii don't really know now.
2o what the fuck have you been doiing all thii2 tiime??
not the iimportant 2tuff but.
you have 2la2h had two fuck around for a year.
and now you get two do iit agaiin here.
2uck2 man.

[forevercapslock]

AT LEAST HERE I DON'T HAVE TO WATCH TEREZI AND STRIDER FROLIC AROUND IN FRUITY RUMPUS CAN TOWN WITH THE MAYO AND SEVERAL HALF-EATEN BOXES OF CHALK.
THAT'S PRETTY MUCH WHAT I'VE BEEN DOING FOR THE PAST YEAR. AND I'LL PROBABLY CONTINUE TO DO IT FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS.
THAT AND HAVING TO TALK TO EVERY POSSIBLE ITERATION OF EVERYONE I'VE EVER KNOWN AND THEY'RE PRE-SCRATCH VERSIONS AND GOG
I JUST
TYPING THIS MAKES ME ANGRY AT THE RAMPANT TEDIUM THAT CHARACTERIZES EVERY MOMENT OF MY CURRENT (FROM THE POINT OF VIEW OF THE TIME AT WHICH I ARRIVED HERE) EXISTENCE.

[aquarium_tipper]

two be faiir iif you 2wiitch out tz'2 name for john'2 you could make a pretty 2oliid argument that the 2ame 2hiit happen2 here.
ju2t 2ayiin'.
2o have you yet two name your2elf a2 offiiciial fuckiing amba22ador of the meteor??
get your2elf a liittle nametag all.
hello my name ii2
and then you run iintwo an ii22ue when you meet the amba22adiziing kk from dreambubble number two hundred and ten?
crab battle.

[forevercapslock]

I HAVE HAD TOO GOGDAMN MANY CRAB BATTLES.
DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MY DANCESTOR
WHICH IS THE TERRIBLE WORD SOMEONE CAME UP WITH FOR US AND THE PRE-SCRATCH VERSION OF OUR ANCESTORS THAT I CREATED IN THE ECTOBIOLOGY LAB, AS THOUGH WE AND THEY ARE SOMEHOW THE SAME THING AND FULFILL THE SAME ROLE IN OUR RESPECTIVE UNIVERSES
MY ANCESTOR WAS TROLL JEGUS, WHO LED SOME KIND OF UPRISING AGAINST THE HEMOSPECTRUM-BASED CASTE SYSTEM AND THEN WAS EXECUTED, RESULTING IN SOME KIND OF WIDESPREAD SECRET CULT, WHICH I GUESS IS PRETTY COOL, EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM WITH THE HEMOSPECTRUM OR OUR SOCIETY'S STRUCTURE.
BUT THE PRE-SCRATCH VERSION OF TROLL JEGUS IS *THE*
**MOST**
*****************ANNOYING MOTHERFUCKER*****************
HE MAKES THIS WALL OF TEXT I'M CONSTRUCTING HERE LOOK LIKE A MINOR SPEEDBUMP.
NO, HE MAKES MY WALLS OF TEXT LOOK LIKE HOLES IN THE FLOOR. HIS RANTS AND MONOLOGUES MAKE MINE GO INTO A NEGATIVE WORD COUNT IN COMPARISON.
HE JUST KEEPS TALKING AND TALKING AND TALKING AND TALKING AND WHEN YOU GO INTO A KIND OF HORRIFIED, STUNNED TRANCE, UNABLE TO COMPREHEND A SINGLE FUCKING WORD IN BETWEEN ALL THE TRIGGER WARNINGS, ONLY VAGUELY AWARE THAT HE'S TRYING SO HARD TO BE FAIR AND SOCIALLY JUST THAT HE'S ONLY BARELY MASKING JUST HOW MUCH OF A BULGE-SUCKING DOUCHE-BUBBLE HE IS.
AND WHEN YOU FINALLY MANAGE TO SLINK AWAY, A BATTERED SHADOW OF YOUR FORMER SELF, WEAK FROM THE OVERWHELMING *NOTHING* YOU HAVE JUST SPENT HOURS BEING ASSAILED BY, AND YOU THINK YOU'RE SAFE
FUCKING *SAFE* AND OUT OF HIS EARSHOT
*THERE HE IS*
*WAITING*
WAITING FOR YOU TO SLIP UP AND SAY ONE THING HE THINKS IS CLASSIST OR WHATEVER "-IST" TERM HE MOST RECENTLY CAME UP WITH
ANYTHING THAT TRIGGERS HIM
YOU SAY IT
AND HE *KNOWS*
HE KNOWS AND THEN HE'S *THERE*
AND IT STARTS AGAIN
THE NEVER-ENDING CYCLE OF MIND NUMBING BULLSHIT THAT MAKES ME AND *MY* BULLSHIT LOOK LIKE A DEAF, MUTE PUPA.

[aquarium_tipper]

uhh.

[forevercapslock]

OKAY I REALIZE THAT I SAID "DON'T GET ME STARTED" AND THEN RANTED FOR ALMOST EVER.
JUST
IGNORE THAT OKAY?
FUCK.

[aquarium_tipper]

riight.
ii'm 2o goiing two briing thii2 memory up agaiin.
eventually.
moviing on.
have you met my dance2tor??
miituna cuz he'2 here.
ii liike hiim.

[forevercapslock]

YEAH I MET HIM.
HE'S KIND OF LIKE A YAPPY BARK BEAST, BUT I DON'T REALLY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH HIM.
HE JUST DOES HIS THING AND HE LETS PEOPLE DO THEIR THING.

[aquarium_tipper]

what.
what the fuck ever.
that dude ii2 2o fuckiing awe2ome.
you 2hould be jealou2 twofold and wriite up another god damned blockade of vanta2 de2tiiny text.
ju2t two attempt and expre22 the feeliing that my guy kiick2 all 2ort2 of a22.
and your2 ii2 2ociialy unacceptable.

[forevercapslock]

YOURS IS BRAINDAMAGED AND RANDOMLY SPEWS EXPLETIVES FOR NO APPARENT REASON.

[aquarium_tipper]

excu2e you?
no he ii2n't.
and or doe2 not.
ii'm goiing two pretend you are not 2pewiing hiideou2 liie2 about hiim.

[forevercapslock]

HE IS. I'M NOT SAYING HE'S NOT A WORTHWHILE GUY OR THAT HE ISN'T EXTREME OR WHATEVER, BUT HE REALLY SERIOUSLY IS.

[aquarium_tipper]

what ii2 your deal.
ii thought ii told you not two blatantly mentiion any mental defect2 ii have.
that extend2 two hiim two obviiou2ly.