[005; audio; open]

[perceptum]

[ There's no warning as the audio starts, and it seems very likely that River isn't actually addressing the network at large at all. It cuts in mid sentence, to the rustling sound of movement and near incoherent rambling from River. ]

-but it wasn't meant to go like this. What went wrong? Something went wrong, was it her calculations? The numbers twisted and broke and now so much is lost and how are they supposed to find out why? Pushed too hard and too fast, why did he let her try? Why did I try?

[ She stops talking very abruptly, exhales slowly, and then for the first time actually sounds like she's talking to the network, like it isn't just an accidental pick up of a private conversation featuring one. ]

She's sorry. She didn't- it wasn't meant to happen. So, so sorry.

[ Without any indication of who she's apologising to, she cuts the feed. ]

Comments

audio; private

[perceptum]

Okay means too much, she doesn't like it.

[ Are you listening carefully Blake? Because there's a few tell tale signs about where she's headed - a twig snaps under her foot, the leaves rustle ever so slightly with the wind - but they're subtle, easy to miss. ]

You can't help. Even she can't help and it was all her fault. Maybe no one can help, maybe she's ruined his life.

audio; private

[oversight]

[Oh, he's listening. And he has a hunch, but he doesn't want to act on it until he gets some solid(ish) answers. Why? Well, because he doesn't want to immediately run to River's aid if there's someone else that's hurt. Even if maybe no one can help.]

Just need you to take a breath, 'kay? Stop, take a breath, tell me whose life you think you've ruined, maybe how and we'll go from there... Take care of it, though — promise we will.

audio; private

[perceptum]

Sam.

[ She actually does what he says; stops walking, takes in a slow shaky breath and exhales again, and there's a moment of lag before she starts walking again. ]

He asked about mind, about the memories we lose when we leave. We were just looking for the last time he came to Wonderland, that's all. He's been and forgot, now he's here again but of course he doesn't remember his first trip no one remembers their other trips. [ Her voice grows more tense and strained as she talks, but she presses on. ] Just wanted one look, just to see if Wonderland had made its mark. One small look, but she saw too much. It went wrong, she can't shut it off, it won't stop and now-

[ No, okay, back to shaky breathing because otherwise she might well start hyperventilating out here, and that wouldn't be good for anyone. The last of the story is muttered, quiet and a little angry. ] He doesn't remember them. Don't know how but she took that away. The people from his world, he can't remember any of them.

audio; private

[oversight]

What?

[It comes out a little sharper than Blake intends, but he's genuinely surprised. Maybe because it's Sam, maybe because it's River, but probably mostly because it sounds like a bad idea and yet it still happened.

What were they thinking?

Blake gapes for a second, quiet on the line, but soon enough he clears his throat and steels himself. There's no changing it now, just fixing it (if they can).]

Runnin' ain't gonna help, River. Just... stop, okay? Lemme come get you. Or call your brother'n have him come.

audio; private

[perceptum]

Don't want anyone to come get her, no one. Stay away, it's safer.

[ She has stopped though, as far into the woods as she dares to go right now. Instead of returning she just sits down at the base of a tree and rests her device in her lap. It takes a moment for her to respond again with anything other than small, stressed noises as she rubs her hands over her head and her fingers through her hair. She does speak again though, voice tense and far too strained as she tries to keep her breathing steady. ]

Just looking, that was all it was supposed to be. Just looking. She does it every day without meaning to, why did it break when she tried? Know- I know everything now. Too much, so much even he doesn't know and he can't. So much time unaccounted for.

audio; private

[oversight]

[Jesus, he isn't sure what to do. On one hand, he believes that River knows what she's doing and feeling and if she says it's safer to stay away, it's safer. On the other hand, this is River and he's desperate to help, so he doesn't intend to stay away — not yet, at least.]

Tell me what you mean, River. Can you do that? You know everything he knows now? That what you're sayin'?

[Can someone even help with that?]