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[Yes, the Once-ler had that dream too. No, he's not talking about it. It was just a dream, just a stupid, dumb, terrifying dream with a monster and the moon going out like a broken lightbulb and obviously none of it was real. Or at least, he doesn't want any of it to be real.

So, he's stress-knitting.

He's taken up one of the tea rooms for the day so that he has a little more space to work (plus it gets him out of his room, and that's probably a good thing). He's already got a colorful pile of completed things tossed on one of the chairs - scarfs, mittens, absolutely no thneeds. The Once-ler himself is sitting on the floor in front of one of the armchairs with his knees up, using the chair as a backrest as he knits. His piglet Boris is keeping him company, and he can be seen running around in a dark green pig-sized sweater.]

So, uh. Since I'm knitting anyway and winter's coming up...does anyone want anything?

[And wow, he sure is knitting. Even while he talks, even while wearing his trademark green gloves, his needles move incredibly fast. He shrugs though, like offering to make people stuff for free isn't an enormous step forward for him.]

I mean, it's just something to do, and it's not like I have anything else to do with them.

[That's all he really wanted to say, because he's definitely not acknowledging that Jabberwocky dream. He leans forward a bit and uses the end of one of his knitting needles to jab at his network device until it shuts off. If anyone would rather meet up with him in person, he's in one of the tea rooms on the tenth floor with a small mountain of yarn.]

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[It's probably best if they don't get into the 'what part about that is hard to get' conversation concerning any of this, is it.]

Yeah, well-- ask anyone from Storybrooke about their lives and if they really happened. Of course they did-- but to every kid who's ever read a fairy tale, it's just fiction. The person who wrote those stories and the people who passed them down, they didn't see what any of the characters went through firsthand, at least not that I know of. Kind of the same thing. For you, it's real, but for other people? Not so much.

[Headache-inducing, right?]

It's supposed to be inspirational, I think. Teach kids about preserving the environment.

Right. So they can learn from my horrific screw-ups and not grow up to be self-centered corporate jerkwads. Got it.

[He rolls his eyes. He's not exactly someone anyone's kids should be looking up to anyway, but it's still not the best story even with him as the villain. "Don't be greedy or you'll cut down all the trees and nature will be ruined forever and ever" doesn't make for a great kids' book in any world.

One part finally sinks in though, and his eyes widen.]

Wait, anyone from Storybrooke? So...Regina's life is a kids' story too?

[Maybe that's a better question to ask Regina herself, but he knows Regina was the mayor of Storybrooke and she even invited him back to that town personally, since he was probably the only person from that event who actually liked his life there. She's someone he considers a good friend, and she's someone else he's pretty sure shouldn't be at the center of any children's literature for a whole assortment of reasons.]

Sort of?

[Yes and no.]

Part of her life is included in a fairy tale that almost everyone knows, but-- it's not entirely accurate. It focuses on some pretty specific events.

[They aren't exactly flattering ones, either, so it's not her place to repeat it without running it by Regina first. They're friends now, after all.]

The stories don't get it all right, but there's definite influence there.

[No, he can't imagine they would be accurate, not when one of the first things he learned about Regina was her title as The Evil Queen. It leaves a ton of leeway for exaggeration and bad interpretation.

For a second he wonders if his own story is like that, but then he shakes it off. He's pretty sure whoever wrote it couldn't make him sound worse than he already is if they tried.]

I'll have to ask her about it sometime.

[Heck if he knows how that will ever come up though. "Oh hey by the way, I heard your life's a book! What a coincidence! So's mine!"]

Uh. Thanks for filling me in? I can't say I was expecting an existential crisis today but...I guess it's better to know?

[He's rather flippant about the whole thing, because it's a heck of a lot easier than actually talking about it.]

[Flippant or not, she sighs.]

Look, I wasn't looking to give you any kind of crisis, I just-- I can't believe you didn't know.

[And truth be told, she can't believe she didn't know. How had that not come up until now?]

I won't keep you, but just remember you're in decent company, okay? Lots of people here have stories written about them.

And how would that not give someone a crisis exactly? Do people just assume they're from books where you're from?

[Seriously, who would take the news that someone else made up their story well? But he shakes his head and puts up a hand.]

Nevermind. I'll get over it eventually, I'm sure. Maybe someday the psychological damage will even go away!

[He's kidding. Mostly. He is at least 99% kidding. He nods though and adds one thing (a bit more sincerely) before he shuts off the feed and lets her go.]

I'll try to keep it in mind. ...Thanks.

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