entranceway | Δ [1st Cipher] SVOOL WZIPMVHH NB LOW UIRVMW

[Static crackles and pops over the feed.

It is a combination of a radio tuner whining listlessly between stations with decent service, the familiar whirring grumble of the dial-up tone ad infinitum, the hoarse screech of a car trying to start on a lonely highway in the middle of the night, where it has broken down for seemingly no reason at all.

Images flicker: an illustration of Lincoln's assassination, a room draped with red curtains, the Teletubbies, President Nixon, video footage of a piglet slowly decaying into loam. And then- A V O I C E.]

I GӨƬƬΛ ƧΛY. ƬΉΣƧΣ DIGƧ ΛЯΣП'Ƭ ΉΛᄂF-BΛD. I MΣΛП, IƬ'Ƨ ПӨ IПƬΣЯGΛᄂΛᄃƬIᄃ ƬIMΣ PΛLΛᄃΣ ΛПD IƬ'Ƨ ПӨƬ ƬЯЦMP ƬӨЩΣЯ, BЦƬ I GΣƬ ƬΉΣ ΛPPΣΛL.

[On occasion, between the odd frequencies scrambling the frame with black and white noise, a single eye will appear.]

VΛMPIЯΣƧ. ΛПGΣᄂƧ. ᄃΛППIBΛᄂƧ. GӨDƧ. ΛΉΛΉΛΉΛΉΛ ӨΉ BӨY, IƧ ƬΉIƧ GӨППΛ BΣ FЦП. I'ᄂᄂ BΣ ЩΛƬᄃΉIПG YӨЦ, ЩӨПDΣЯᄂΛПD.

I ' ᄂᄂ B Σ Щ Λ Ƭ ᄃ Ή I П G Y Ө Ц.

[The transmission cuts, leaving a fuzzy screen and a garbled message:]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Nick has free time, boredom, and cybernetic enhancements to his brain, so he spends some time idly picking through the video frame-by-frame, seeing if he can pull something meaningful out of the random, garbled images. It's nothing that couldn't be done with decent editing software... isn't it?]

Four out of ten for the creepypasta, edgelord. PS, any ignition switch can use a voice changer.

[Maybe if Nick got his human brain out of his robot ass, he'd recognize the beauty, majesty, and talent behind the mastermind leaving this morning's early missive.]

ЩӨЩ. MΛYBΣ YӨЦ ᄃΛП ƬΣᄂᄂ MΣ ЩΉΣЯΣ I ᄃӨЦᄂD GΣƬ ӨПΣ. I ΛᄂЩΛYƧ ЩΛПƬΣD ƬӨ ƧӨЦПD ᄂIKΣ DΛЯƬΉ VΛDΣЯ BЦƬ IПƧƬΣΛD ƬΉΣ ᄃӨƧMӨƧ GΛVΣ MΣ ƬΉΣƧΣ DЦᄂᄃΣƬ ƬӨПΣƧ.

[Maybe if Bill could pull the bowtie out of his triangular asscrack he wouldn't be such a smart aleck.]

If those are "dulcet tones" I'm an F-16. You tell your mom you love her in that voice, or is she already deaf?

ƬΉΛƬ'Ƨ ᄃЦƬΣ ᄃӨMIПG FЯӨM Λ ΉΣᄂIᄃӨPƬΣЯ. ЩΉΛƬ ΛЯΣ YӨЦ, ƧӨMΣ KIПD ӨF ЯӨBӨƬ PЦPPΣƬ?

[Bill invented the term "Smart Alec" in the 1840s after a pimp named Alec was coerced into rifling through the pockets of unconscious patrons. Son. Don't start.]

ΉΛΉΛ. I'M JӨKIПG! I KПӨЩ YӨЦ'ЯΣ JЦƧƬ Λ ΉЦMΛП ᄃӨПƧᄃIӨЦƧПΣƧƧ ƬЯΛPPΣD IП Λ MΣᄃΉΛПIᄃΛᄂ ƧΉΣᄂᄂ ЩIƧΉIПG ΉΣ ЩΛƧ ЯΣΛᄂᄂY ӨПΣ ЩIƬΉ ƬΉΣ MΛᄃΉIПΣ.

I ЯΣƧPΣᄃƬ ƬΉΣ ΣFFӨЯƬ BΣᄃΛЦƧΣ ΉЦMΛПƧ ΛЯΣ BΛGƧ ӨF MΣΛƬ DΣƧIGПΣD BY Λ BᄂIПD ΛПD ЦПᄃΛЯIПG ᄃΉΛӨƧ BЦƬ ƬΉΛƬ DӨΣƧП'Ƭ MΛKΣ IƬ ΛПY ᄂΣƧƧ PΛƬΉΣƬIᄃ.

[Nick freezes, badly shaken. Too close, too personal. How the hell had this troll known any of that? Nobody could have guessed that. He feels sick to the stomach he doesn't have. He's a machine, he doesn't want to be human anymore and he isn't.]

[He doesn't trust his voice, and besides, he wants to swear, so he responds via text, after some delay.]

youre a taintchafing cocksucker& u dont know SHIT about me

[Because Bill can sometimes be a benevolent entity, he allows the text option. Spoiler alert: it wasn't a lucky guess.]

COOL YOUR JETS, DESPERADO

NO AMOUNT OF STATUS UPDATES ARE GONNA MAKE YOU ANY MORE TERMINATOR

YOU'VE GOT NINETY-NINE PROBLEMS AND BEING UNABLE TO FULFILL YOUR WILDEST DREAM IS ONE OF THEM BUT THAT'S LIFE SO GET USED TO DISAPPOINTMENT

[Okay, be cool. Nick can still be cool about this. Belatedly, he wipes any trace of that original video off his hard drives and starts checking himself over for viruses, although he suspects it won't make much of a difference. It's an excuse to bury himself in the digital half of his mind and get away from his messy organic emotions.]

[This is perfectly reasonable and healthy and Nick is coping just fine.]

ok w/e cuntwipe the biggest 'disappointment' in my life was waking up without my schwantz everything since has kicked ass

got anything 2 say besides big talk & cheap gore or r we done here

[Be cool, Nick. Like the other side of a pillow on a hot night. Oh wait, you don't know what that feels like anymore, do you?]

YES.

01000100 01001111 01001110 00100111 01010100 00100000 01010100 01010010 01010101 01010011 01010100 00100000 01010000 01010010 01001111 01001010 01000101 01000011 01010100 00100000 01010011 01001011 01001001 01001110 00100000 01001000 01001111 01010010 01010011 01000101

[The feed flickers out.]

[Fuck.

Nick doesn't even try to respond. Instead, he shuts off communications entirely, silencing his personal internet and radio connections, and sits motionless on the roof. At least metal limbs won't shake. Nobody has to know. Maybe there's a sofer here who can check his mezuzah.

It'll be a good long while before he calms down enough to turn wifi back on.]

Δ [1st Cipher] SVOOL WZIPMVHH NB LOW UIRVMW

voice

voice

voice

voice

text; LANGUAGE, nick

text;

text;

text;

no subject