Δ [1st Cipher] SVOOL WZIPMVHH NB LOW UIRVMW

[improvident]

[Static crackles and pops over the feed.

It is a combination of a radio tuner whining listlessly between stations with decent service, the familiar whirring grumble of the dial-up tone ad infinitum, the hoarse screech of a car trying to start on a lonely highway in the middle of the night, where it has broken down for seemingly no reason at all.

Images flicker: an illustration of Lincoln's assassination, a room draped with red curtains, the Teletubbies, President Nixon, video footage of a piglet slowly decaying into loam. And then- A V O I C E.]

I GӨƬƬΛ ƧΛY. ƬΉΣƧΣ DIGƧ ΛЯΣП'Ƭ ΉΛᄂF-BΛD. I MΣΛП, IƬ'Ƨ ПӨ IПƬΣЯGΛᄂΛᄃƬIᄃ ƬIMΣ PΛLΛᄃΣ ΛПD IƬ'Ƨ ПӨƬ ƬЯЦMP ƬӨЩΣЯ, BЦƬ I GΣƬ ƬΉΣ ΛPPΣΛL.

[On occasion, between the odd frequencies scrambling the frame with black and white noise, a single eye will appear.]

VΛMPIЯΣƧ. ΛПGΣᄂƧ. ᄃΛППIBΛᄂƧ. GӨDƧ. ΛΉΛΉΛΉΛΉΛ ӨΉ BӨY, IƧ ƬΉIƧ GӨППΛ BΣ FЦП. I'ᄂᄂ BΣ ЩΛƬᄃΉIПG YӨЦ, ЩӨПDΣЯᄂΛПD.

I ' ᄂᄂ B Σ Щ Λ Ƭ ᄃ Ή I П G Y Ө Ц.

[The transmission cuts, leaving a fuzzy screen and a garbled message:]

Comments

voice

[krmvgivv]

[Dipper lets out an unmanly yelp. He knows that horrible synthesized voice. Then he grabs a notebook and pen and scrawls down the message immediately to work out later. Only then does he actually reply, managing to school his voice into something more brave sounding. He hopes.]

You. How did you get here? Did somebody summon you?

voice

[improvident]

[Horrible? Synthesized? He'll have you know that this is a flawless impression of David Lynch on speed!]

I KПӨЩ MY ЩΛY ΛЯӨЦПD ƬΉΣ ᄃӨƧMӨƧ, IF YӨЦ KПӨЩ ЩΉΛƬ I MΣΛП.

[Is it a euphemism? The world may never know.]

ПIᄃΣ FΛᄂƧΣƬƬӨ. ΣVΣЯ ƬΉIПK ӨF JӨIПIПG ƬΉΣ ӨPΣЯΛ?

voice

[krmvgivv]

[He was really, really hoping he'd never have to see this guy again. Ominous messages aside, he'd seemed more or less gone when they defeated him in Stan's brain.]

I'm thinking of keeping you out of everyone else's head! [He's flipping to the Bill pages in the journal cause those won't give Bill a great visual of him or anything. Shhh. He's just brushing up on his Bill knowledge.]

hello my love

[forworse]

[ Look. This VΛMPIЯΣ looks so unimpressed with everything he's just been put through. ]

Okay, but really, how much of that was necessary?

WAGGLES...SINGLE EYEBROW...OVER A SINGLE EYE

[improvident]

[That's rude, so rude. What if Bill couldn't communicate in any other form but light and sound? Having the disability of LACKING A BODY tends to make normal conversation hard.

You heartless bastard.]

YӨЦ ƧЦЯΣ ΛЯΣ IПƧΣПƧIƬIVΣ FӨЯ Λ GЦY ЩIƬΉ ΣMӨƬIӨПΛᄂ IƧƧЦΣƧ.

stop

[forworse]

[ Welp. You're calling him rude. ]

Comes with the territory. If I was sensitive to everyone else's problems, then how could I stand to make mine such a big deal?

[ He has to wonder if this is a new arrival or one of Wonderhell's events. ]

Buy me dinner first before telling me I've got emotional issues.

Voice

[singloversing]

[Hotdog that was disturbing as heck.

Wirt's not sure how long he stares in horror at the screen trying to get that piglet image out of his head, but he knows it's a long while. Eventually he blinks, shakes his head, and sets out to reply. He keeps it voice-only though, since he's not sure he wants whatever sent out this horrible message to see what he looks like. What a shame that won't work. To be honest, he doesn't even want to talk, but he doesn't trust that a text message won't just come back garbled.]

Wh-What do you mean you'll be watching us? ...Who are you?

[He's not doing a great job at sounding like he isn't completely terrified.]

Voice

[improvident]

[What an adorable voice from an adorable pointy source! It sounds just like an acute friend he once knew.

PSYCH. Bill doesn't do friends.]

ЩΉӨΛ. ƧӨMΣӨПΣ ΛᄂΣЯƬ ƬΉΣ MΣDIΛ, Λ ᄂΛЩП ӨЯПΛMΣПƬ IƧ ƬΛᄂKIПG.

I KID. ƬΉΣ ПΛMΣ'Ƨ BIᄂᄂ ᄃIPΉΣЯ.

Voice

[singloversing]

Wha--?

[He lowers his network device and looks around. Wirt is alone in his room, sitting on his bed and very much alone, or so he assumed. He glances nervously, trying to pinpoint some place this Bill guy could be spying from. In a rare moment of bravery he even peeks under his bed, but...nothing.]

...H-How do you know what I look like? There's no one else here...

[He feels like he's in a bad horror movie, all of a sudden.]

video;

[nevar]

[It's probably due to the fact that he's on-edge recently from personal matters, but why Jefferson truly feels the need to respond to this madness is beyond him]

Oh yeah? And who is it that's watching?

INSISTENT USE OF [VOICE]

[improvident]

ƬΉΣ FЯIΣПDᄂY ПΣIGΉBӨЯΉӨӨD ЩΛƬᄃΉ. ПIᄃΣ DЦDƧ, BY ƬΉΣ ЩΛY.

[The use of jacquard is, frankly, glorious. Such contrasting patterns! Such attention to sartorial detail!]

response in VOICE;

[nevar]

Thanks. One has to stay looking sharp in the midst of... all this.

[Good ol' Wonderland. Providing him something weirder than the Wicked Witch to worry about for a few minutes.]

What neighborhood are you from?

video

[brainmeme]

Uhh, are you allowed to get all PG-13 on the network? [Well someone just did, so apparently you are.] No one wants to see this stuff.

VOICE or bust

[improvident]

YӨЦ ƬΛKΣ ƬΉΛƬ BΛᄃK. ƬΉΣ ƬΣᄂΣƬЦBBIΣƧ ΛЯΣ ΛП IПƬΣЯПΛƬIӨПΛᄂ ƬЯΣΛƧЦЯΣ.

[Because that's what the purple rock was referring to, right?]

stubbornly VIDEO!!!!!

[brainmeme]

I don't even know what a Teletubbies is. Why don't you show yourself?

voice;

[undealt]

[what

is even happening.]

I'll certainly give you credit for originality.

voice;

[improvident]

[Now here's a fellow that Bill can appreciate! One who understands the importance of the Gold Standard!]

ƬΣᄂᄂ MΣ ƧӨMΣƬΉIПG I DӨП'Ƭ KПӨЩ.

PΣDDᄂIПG ΛПY BЦᄂᄂIӨП ƬӨDΛY?

voice;

[undealt]

Whatever do you mean?

[That old habit of playing stupid when he knows exactly what someone is talking about slips out unchecked. To be fair, he might know what this being means, but he doesn't know why he knows, and doesn't want to admit it.]

VOICE - oh if only I played a smart English-speaking character...

[holdthephones]

[WOW he'll be seeing that piglet in his nightmares, thanks buddy. he grimaces at the screen for a...long moment afterward. he can ignore this weirdness. he can put his phone away. he doesn't have to antagonize the psycho behind that ear-grating voice.

goddammit. once Neku finally replies, he sounds dry and 100% done already]

Uh . . . dude. I think you failed at English there. Completely.

VOICE

[improvident]

ƧΉӨЩƧ ΉӨЩ MЦᄃΉ YӨЦ KПӨЩ. MΛYBΣ I ЩΛƧП'Ƭ ƧPΣΛKIПG ΣПGᄂIƧΉ.

[Technically it is English, if you know how to decode it. A disappointing number of people seem confused, perplexed, but they can't all be as Poindexter as Pine Tree is.]

VOICE

[holdthephones]

Yeah, you were speaking gibberish. [now he's just being contrary]

What's the point of all this, anyway?

voice

[flybyn1ght85]

[Nick has free time, boredom, and cybernetic enhancements to his brain, so he spends some time idly picking through the video frame-by-frame, seeing if he can pull something meaningful out of the random, garbled images. It's nothing that couldn't be done with decent editing software... isn't it?]

Four out of ten for the creepypasta, edgelord. PS, any ignition switch can use a voice changer.

voice

[improvident]

[Maybe if Nick got his human brain out of his robot ass, he'd recognize the beauty, majesty, and talent behind the mastermind leaving this morning's early missive.]

ЩӨЩ. MΛYBΣ YӨЦ ᄃΛП ƬΣᄂᄂ MΣ ЩΉΣЯΣ I ᄃӨЦᄂD GΣƬ ӨПΣ. I ΛᄂЩΛYƧ ЩΛПƬΣD ƬӨ ƧӨЦПD ᄂIKΣ DΛЯƬΉ VΛDΣЯ BЦƬ IПƧƬΣΛD ƬΉΣ ᄃӨƧMӨƧ GΛVΣ MΣ ƬΉΣƧΣ DЦᄂᄃΣƬ ƬӨПΣƧ.

[voice forever]

[goodwoofjames]

...Are you in the toilet?

[Bit of an echo there, mate.]

[good choice, kid]

[improvident]

ПӨ, BЦƬ I'M ƧЦЯΣ YӨЦ'VΣ ΉΛD YӨЦЯ FIᄂᄂ ӨF ƬӨIᄂΣƬ ЩΛƬΣЯ.

[Don't dogs drink out of the porcelain bowl?

ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS HERE]