Δ [1st Cipher] SVOOL WZIPMVHH NB LOW UIRVMW

[improvident]

[Static crackles and pops over the feed.

It is a combination of a radio tuner whining listlessly between stations with decent service, the familiar whirring grumble of the dial-up tone ad infinitum, the hoarse screech of a car trying to start on a lonely highway in the middle of the night, where it has broken down for seemingly no reason at all.

Images flicker: an illustration of Lincoln's assassination, a room draped with red curtains, the Teletubbies, President Nixon, video footage of a piglet slowly decaying into loam. And then- A V O I C E.]

I GӨƬƬΛ ƧΛY. ƬΉΣƧΣ DIGƧ ΛЯΣП'Ƭ ΉΛᄂF-BΛD. I MΣΛП, IƬ'Ƨ ПӨ IПƬΣЯGΛᄂΛᄃƬIᄃ ƬIMΣ PΛLΛᄃΣ ΛПD IƬ'Ƨ ПӨƬ ƬЯЦMP ƬӨЩΣЯ, BЦƬ I GΣƬ ƬΉΣ ΛPPΣΛL.

[On occasion, between the odd frequencies scrambling the frame with black and white noise, a single eye will appear.]

VΛMPIЯΣƧ. ΛПGΣᄂƧ. ᄃΛППIBΛᄂƧ. GӨDƧ. ΛΉΛΉΛΉΛΉΛ ӨΉ BӨY, IƧ ƬΉIƧ GӨППΛ BΣ FЦП. I'ᄂᄂ BΣ ЩΛƬᄃΉIПG YӨЦ, ЩӨПDΣЯᄂΛПD.

I ' ᄂᄂ B Σ Щ Λ Ƭ ᄃ Ή I П G Y Ө Ц.

[The transmission cuts, leaving a fuzzy screen and a garbled message:]

Comments

voice

[krmvgivv]

[This is actively more uncomfortable than when Bill is threatening him and turning into a giant red horror triangle. Dipper does not want gifts from Bill. He doesn't want anything from Bill.]

That's... good to know?

voice

[improvident]

[What's that saying? The best things in life are free?

(Nothing is free, not really, but Pine Tree will learn that eventually.)]

ƬΉIƧ IƧ GΣПΣЯΛᄂᄂY ƬΉΣ PΛЯƬ ЩΉΣЯΣ ƬΉΣ GЯΛƬΣFЦᄂ PΛЯƬY ƧΛYƧ "ƬΉΛПK YӨЦ".

voice

[krmvgivv]

I don't think "grateful's" the best word for how I'm feeling right now. I'm still looking for the catch.

voice

[improvident]

YΣΣƧΉ. ΛПD I ƬΉӨЦGΉƬ I ΉΛD ƬЯЦƧƬ IƧƧЦΣƧ. ΉΛVΣ I ΣVΣЯ ᄂIΣD ƬӨ YӨЦ?

voice

[krmvgivv]

Probably. [Nothing would surprise him less than finding out that anything Bill had told him is a lie.]

voice

[improvident]

ЩΣᄂP. GЦΣƧƧ I ᄃΛП ӨПᄂY ᄃΉΛПGΣ YӨЦЯ MIПD BY BΣIПG ƬΉΣ GӨӨD ƧΛMΛЯIƬΛП I ΛM.

[for the right price]

voice

[krmvgivv]

[Dipper scoffs.] Not really the words that come to mind when I think about you, but sure, I'll believe that when I see it.

voice

[improvident]

ƧΉΣΣƧΉ, KID, ᄂΣΛЯП ƬӨ ΉΛVΣ Λ ᄂIƬƬᄂΣ FΛIƬΉ.

DӨП'Ƭ FӨЯGΣƬ ƬΉΛƬ I'M ΛᄂЩΛYƧ ЩΛƬᄃΉIПG YӨЦ!

[Bill cuts the feed.]