Δ [1st Cipher] SVOOL WZIPMVHH NB LOW UIRVMW

[improvident]

[Static crackles and pops over the feed.

It is a combination of a radio tuner whining listlessly between stations with decent service, the familiar whirring grumble of the dial-up tone ad infinitum, the hoarse screech of a car trying to start on a lonely highway in the middle of the night, where it has broken down for seemingly no reason at all.

Images flicker: an illustration of Lincoln's assassination, a room draped with red curtains, the Teletubbies, President Nixon, video footage of a piglet slowly decaying into loam. And then- A V O I C E.]

I GӨƬƬΛ ƧΛY. ƬΉΣƧΣ DIGƧ ΛЯΣП'Ƭ ΉΛᄂF-BΛD. I MΣΛП, IƬ'Ƨ ПӨ IПƬΣЯGΛᄂΛᄃƬIᄃ ƬIMΣ PΛLΛᄃΣ ΛПD IƬ'Ƨ ПӨƬ ƬЯЦMP ƬӨЩΣЯ, BЦƬ I GΣƬ ƬΉΣ ΛPPΣΛL.

[On occasion, between the odd frequencies scrambling the frame with black and white noise, a single eye will appear.]

VΛMPIЯΣƧ. ΛПGΣᄂƧ. ᄃΛППIBΛᄂƧ. GӨDƧ. ΛΉΛΉΛΉΛΉΛ ӨΉ BӨY, IƧ ƬΉIƧ GӨППΛ BΣ FЦП. I'ᄂᄂ BΣ ЩΛƬᄃΉIПG YӨЦ, ЩӨПDΣЯᄂΛПD.

I ' ᄂᄂ B Σ Щ Λ Ƭ ᄃ Ή I П G Y Ө Ц.

[The transmission cuts, leaving a fuzzy screen and a garbled message:]

Comments

[brainmeme]

What? No one's that old.

[improvident]

ƧΛID ᄂIKΣ ƬΉΣ ƧQЦΛᄂᄂIПG IПFΛПƬ YӨЦ ΛЯΣ.

I DӨП'Ƭ ΉΛVΣ ƬIMΣ FӨЯ BΛBIΣƧ.

[Which is saying something, because he has a lot of time.]

[brainmeme]

Wh-- Ugh! I'm not a baby! I'm thousands of years old and I'm totally mature! [She kicks over a pile of junk offscreen, because this is a mature reaction and that's what mature people do.]

[improvident]

[Unimpressed with this display of petulance Bill decides he's had enough of the purple child.]

...ЩΣᄂᄂ. ƬΉIƧ ΉΛƧ BΣΣП FЦП.

BЦƬ I'VΣ GӨƬ BΣƬƬΣЯ ƬΉIПGƧ ƬӨ DӨ ЩIƬΉ MY ƬIMΣ ƬΉΛП ƬΛᄂK ƬӨ ƧӨMΣӨПΣ ЩΉӨ'Ƨ PЯΛᄃƬIᄃΛᄂᄂY ƧƬIᄂᄂ Λ FΣƬЦƧ.

[brainmeme]

[She glares at the screen and shuts her device off before Bill has the chance to end the conversation first.]