entranceway | Video

[When the feed flickers on there's something...not right about it. Everything's dark for a second and the screen shakes a little bit, and there's the muffled sound of someone's voice.]

I--! I think I got it! Now just--

[Something suddenly happens though - the device falls and there's glimpses of a tree and flashes of blue and red and then the ground and it's dark again. There's some groaning, and then the view flips to show Wirt, off-center, tied to a tree in the middle of the gnomes' territory. Naturally, he looks like he fits right in with that costume on, but he does not look like he's having a good time in the slightest.]

H-Hello? I-Is this...can anyone hear me? This is Wirt and I...I-I'm. These little bearded guys knocked me over and dragged me off into the woods a-and they all want to marry me, I think? They-- They've got me tied up and I could like really, really, really...j-just. Someone help? Help me? Please?

[It's becoming more and more apparent that Wirt doesn't realize he turned the video on too, and that people can see his sad, gnome-related predicament. He's also not good at throwing his voice and is just generally pretty hard to hear.]

Serious, c-can someone come untie me? Help!

[It takes him a couple of minutes, but eventually he manages to end the recording with his foot. Everyone will get a super good look at his mismatched shoes in the meantime.]

[ooc: Dipper and Mabel are going to come to the rescue, but anyone else is welcome to chime in and laugh at his predicament or offer sympathy or whatnot.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ He was really hoping Wirt wouldn't realize that the gnomes might want to eat him. Like in his personal opinion, it's just one of those things that's easier to cope with if you don't have to dwell on it.

Poor guy. He'll remember him fondly. ]

I think-- I think, I think that whether or not gnomes wanna eat people really depends on the dimension you're in, you know? There's at least a little chance they won't! O-oh boy, I don't guess you could just ask them about it.

[Unfortunately, Wirt is an expert at dwelling on anything and everything. His brain just goes for the worst case scenario and obsesses over it, all the time.]

Y-Yeah I-- I really don't want to ask them anything if I can help it? B-Besides, they like, probably wouldn't even tell the truth? Like if they really want me to do this they're not gonna be like "O-Oh, sure! We totally don't eat our brides!"

[So Wirt is doomed no matter what, basically. No matter what they say, they're probably going to eat him. They're just feeding him jam so he can have some kind of weird jam filling or something.]

Edited 2016-02-29 02:48 (UTC)

[ Just give it time to get numb to it. ]

Um. Do you want me to try and ask? I could probably, probably at least try that out.

Uhh...I mean, if you want to? I-I don't want you to like, get captured too or anything. Then we'd both be stuck here tied to trees.

[Wirt doesn't want that life for you, Morty. It's a terrible, uncomfortable life.]

I-I'll be real, Wirt, I've seen worse. It's still really creepy and I'd rather not but, you know, I'd-- I'm still willing to give it a shot if you want. My next best plan is like. Jeez, I dunno, punching them? Getting a net?

[Wirt hesitates.]

R-Right. Sorry, you're...used to all this. I mean not THIS this, but...like this kind of stuff in general. Ish. Right. You know more about it than I do, probably.

I-it's cool. I guess, you'd be the guy who knows more about Wonderland event stuff, between us two, you know? I'm, I'm just a hard guy to weird out, or at least I'm hard to weird out with gnomes so far.

I-I don't know about that. I'm-- I'm just stuck here like everyone else, and it's different every time so...it's not like I'm more used to it than anyone else here.

[He's pretty sure he's not any more experienced with any given event than Morty is.]

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