entranceway | [video] an un-bear-able time

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[video] an un-bear-able time

[It's everyone's favorite loser skeleton. He's looking pretty tired.]

so that event was kinda fun, yeah? spent the whole time hanging out with a bear. can't say i've ever done that before, heh. he's--they're?--a pretty chill guy, or guys. good taste in music.

but it's pretty crazy. wonderland makes all these thinking, talking monsters, and then at the end of the event, poof. they're gone.

[Best not to think about it.]

that reminds me...

looks like my brother's gone home. [Gone home, back to being a pile of dust in the snow. Some other Sans will find him, and so on ad nauseum. But at least now Chara can't kill him. Again.] you mighta seen him around. tall skeleton, way cooler than me. all his stuff's gone and his room's back to the default. only one thing that means around here.

[He shrugs as if it doesn't really matter. And really, does it?]

[He's about to sign off on that note, but then he pauses. There's something else he should say. Something that, if he's honest with himself, he'd be remiss not to mention. Even though it's essentially pointless and won't change whatever is going to happen.]

by the way. there's two humans here now who came from my world. frisk and chara. you might see 'em around--they're pretty independent kids, but if people could keep an eye on them both, i'd really appreciate it. frisk's a good kid. chara's...kind of a hellion. heh.

[No one would believe the truth. Right?]

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[It's not so much irritation as resignation. He's not sure why he asked in the first place. It's not like Chara was going to give a straight answer. Sans himself never gives straight answers, so he knows that mindset.]

frisk believes in you. you must find that pretty hilarious.

I may never stop laughing.

Sans... you don't believe that, do you? They say that, because they think that's what they're supposed to. Like it's their lot in life. They keep meeting people that hurt them, and they keep showing mercy, like it's no big deal that everyone tried to off them. But if it turns out that I had goodness in me, if it turns out that it isn't all my fault...

Hey. Your brother. Who killed him, Sans? A human child in a striped shirt, sure. But who?

The good kid? Or the hellion you want to warn everyone about?

kid, it takes a lot of effort to believe anything. i don't have that kind of energy or resolve. whatever happens, happens.

[He believes in Papyrus. He believes in at least trying to stop the anomaly, even though it's virtually possible, maybe even entirely impossible. Sometimes he believes in Frisk. Maybe Frisk really can save Chara, but probably not.]

it's a game to you, right? if it turns out there's good in you, you lose. maybe you think it's frisk who loses--and hey, maybe you're right. but you lose too. because it means this whole "demon" thing is just some kind of weird act. it means it's your choice just as much as it was frisk's. it means you're not this big bad antagonist. you're just... [He shrugs.] an npc. like most people are.

and papyrus? heh, kid. don't you get it? i don't know. it doesn't even matter. because the point is, it's both of you. it's both of you holding the knife. maybe frisk's grip is tighter, maybe yours is. it doesn't matter. you're both responsible. frisk seems to understand that.

difference is, there's only one of you going around talking about how you're gonna treat this world as well as you treated mine.

Cute. That's very cute. You're trying so hard.

[Like he's got Chara all figured out, neatly pinned down. Like everything there is to know about Chara is just whatever can be inferred from Frisk.

Does he know why they fell? Did Frisk go and blab the truth about the first fallen child's mysterious illness? What the first death felt like? The second? The confusion of waking up again, wondering why mother had moved into Home, seeing her die while a panicked and unfamiliar voice cried out because they didn't mean to, they weren't trying to hit that hard, they just thought they had to--]

What exactly is it that you're hoping for, Sans? That I'll quiver and crumble at the thought of irrelevance? I'm dead. I'm gone. My name will not be remembered. I'm less than an NPC. I don't even exist.

And if it turns out there's good in me? Then what, Sans? I'll say sorry? Send out thoughtful cards, lay down wreaths of flowers, and that will make up for it all? Just like when we laid our weapon down and you gave us a warm, friendly "c'mere, pal."

You're awfully quick to say we both have dust on our hands, but not that we were both the ones who spared you all. No, funnily enough, I must not have even existed in that timeline. After all, I'm not exactly the greatest person! I'm a hellion! So no. I'm not convinced. You can't expect me to want to try when I've already seen the sort of mercy you think I deserve. When I've seen that no matter how dustless or how cruel we are, it's still far too late for me to say sorry.

I never fall for the same trick twice.

[It's honestly so frustrating not really being able to remember. Having to just guess based on how Chara acts toward him, on vague dreams and memories, on his own words spouted back at him triggering something in his soul.]

[He gave the kid one last chance, didn't he? Only it wasn't really a chance so much. Because if the kid was really, truly willing to stop it all, to just stop when they'd come so far and killed so many...if they finally saw what they'd done and were sorry about it? Then...]

[if we're really friends...you won't come back.]

i'm not hoping for much of anything from you.

you keep saying that. "not the greatest person."

[That's not one of his. So who said that? What's the significance? It seems to make Chara angry.]

so maybe you're there sparing us too. maybe that's what's really going on in my timeline.

[Yet Frisk said that the stronger Chara was, the worse things got.]

[He sighs quietly.]

as for mercy...

[A flash. His arms spread, the kid throwing down their weapon, stepping into the offered hug. One last series of bones and the kid falling dead in his arms.]

you were supposed to quit. just quit, start over, forget it ever happened. go back and do it right. i mean. the alternative is the two of us...three of us, standing around for all eternity in a dead timeline. what's the point of that? you were supposed to just quit, but you didn't. you came right back.

[He thinks he can remember it. Disappointment. Resignation. i guess that means we never really were friends, huh? It was just that final confirmation that everything that had happened and everything he was doing was all pointless.]

[Not exactly the greatest person. They'd been parroting it back to the wrong person. The judge in so many timelines, but not the one who'd weighed Chara's heart for the very last time. Careless. Careless! They'd gotten so angry, so bitter, and they had fished too hard into the well of memories they could twist and sharpen into weapons.

But that wasn't right, was it? Soulless creatures didn't feel anything. Demons don't care about things like that. They'd cut everything down. Strangers. Innocents. Their parents. Their best friend. ERASE this pointless world, take away any hope of Frisk's precious perfectly happy ending that kept the both of them repeating over and over, wasting so much time and effort on stupid vain hope.]

Turns out I'm very good at coming back when I'm not supposed to.

[They stamp down the storm in their chest. Shift the camera down a little -- no eyes, just smile. Just the locket that had been hanging around Frisk's neck when they first came here.]

You must have been so exhausted. So hopeless. You must still be. Only knowing enough to tell your fate was in the hands of dissatisfied children. Only knowing that what you wanted would never be enough for them to stop. Even the end goal, even the happy ending... the surface didn't appeal in the least anymore. It's too cruel. An absolutely crushing way to live.

You're not hoping for much of anything from anyone anymore. Papyrus vanishes. The kid who saves you all is willing to kill so many of you in the next reset, and you don't understand why. But, Sans... surely you were different, once. Eager. Full of life. Sure you could make a difference. Convinced you could believe in people, change things for the better. More willing to make promises.

Let me ask you, then. What would it take for you to start hoping again? What can make you feel ready to try, ready to do a little better?

[He thinks he might have hit a nerve there. That's interesting. The emotionless, unstoppable demon, driven to something like anger.]

[He's quiet while Chara speaks, face his usual blank smile while Chara tries to pin down his whole life.]

[He chuckles a little. It's all a hundred percent true.]

this is kinda funny, isn't it? both of us acting like we know each other so well. we haven't learned a thing.

[Idiots.]

you wanna know something else that's funny? it's a pretty great joke. see, you're probably thinking something like, "if i can make him hope for something, then i can take it away and crush him for good." thing is, you can't. so i don't mind telling you. what would it take? heh. just knowing it's over. knowing it's over for real.

[One way or another.]

fun fact, kid, good as my timeline is, i don't know where it ends. in a few minutes, right after we get out? a week? a year? ten years? a hundred years? it's not like i remember. maybe we get a hundred good years up there and then the reset comes. doesn't matter how long it is. you can't understand how that feels. knowing that no matter how good things seem, how long it lasts, it's still all going to be reset.

funny, right? so, you know. if you think you can convince me that it's over for real, go right ahead. i'd deserve whatever you chose to do after that, just for being so stupid.

It seems you misunderstand, Sans.

[Frisk is the one who would find a timeline worth keeping. Who would eventually resolve to stop doing it over, either because they were satisfied or because Chara had well and truly won. In every ending, Asriel would continue a solitary, soulless existence, Chara would be a bad person, Asgore would have six SOULs on his hands and Toriel would have a lifetime of losing children. Rather than trying to build a hope up and dash it, Chara couldn't even begin to pretend to care.

The only ending they wanted now was to ERASE. Escape. Utter oblivion. Lying about it would be easy enough, but they see no point in that.]

It's clear. Nothing will make you hope. You've been beaten down too many times. You refuse to even try. The RESETs have consequences that cannot be wiped away, and your despair is one of them.

So let's just say... I'll be ready to change who I am when you're ready to stake your hopes on the world again. For us, the answer is the same.

[Why bother? What reason in the world could possibly be good enough to trump the accumulated weight of all those timelines? Nothing will change. Nothing will have lasting meaning. Daring to hope... ha. They both deserve what they get. Just for being so stupid.

Not like Chara could understand how that feels, though. Nobody in the world could understand a life plagued with deja vu, almost-memories, vague echoes. Just enough to brush your fingertips against the truth of this world. Just enough for your hopes to be as broken and irreparable as a machine hidden in a back room. Poor ol' Sansy. What a lonely way to live. Not his brother, not the keen Dr. Alphys, not Toriel's distant near-recollection, not even Frisk's enduring memory! Nobody could understand, could make THAT stop aching!]

heh.

[They're pretty pathetic, aren't they?]

[It's kind of weird to have something in common with Chara.]

then again, there's frisk. they seem to change things without even really trying. even impossible things.

[Whatever happens, happens. Maybe Frisk will save them. Sans just doesn't hold out hope for that. Or anything. Anyway, it's not like they'll be here long enough to find out. Like any Reset, eventually they'll go home, they'll forget everyone, everything, and it'll be back to normal. Any progress made here won't carry over back in the real world. Chara will go back to being some kind of weird spirit hanging onto Frisk, and Sans will go back to being stuck in an endless loop.]

[But, hey, that's no reason not to enjoy the actually good moments here.]

in the meantime, though...

[What do they do now? How long before they start killing each other?]

if you and frisk have some kind of truce, maybe we should do the same. cause i don't wanna have to fight you yet.

[They say nothing about Frisk. Too complicated. Too many blurred lines. Too many instances of a body at war with itself, two polar opposites vying to take control. Too many instances of a strange sort of teamwork, of a voice whispering stats and advice and jokes about doggers made of pome-granite. It seems strange to think that this world offers the kind of reset that will take their memories away, too.

So they don't think about it. Hold it out at arm's length, and focus on Sans' suggestion. The camera swings up again, frames their entire face. Unobscured. Looking very unimpressed.]

I refuse to go even a single word farther until you get rid of that spambot.

[He can't help snorting at that.]

what, you want a different kind of spam? sure. how about memes?

You're not very good at this "give Chara reasons to not come after you" thing, are you?

you seem like the "rare jerry" kind of kid.

That's it. You blew it. Truces are cancelled forever.

[He raises his hands.] heh, alright, alright, kid. no more spambots.

Then. I suppose...

I can admit you are no longer in my way.

I have nothing to gain by hunting you down. For the time being. If you change that, then I think you will find that I break promises even easier than you do.

and i won't have to show you a bad time.

[Yet. Sans isn't an idiot. They'll fight eventually.]

but try to leave the people here alone. yeah?

That's a big ask, Sans. They're all very, very human.

actually, they're not. some humans, some...not.

frankly, killing people here doesn't do much good for you. just makes it easier for all of them to believe me when i tell them what you're about. you wouldn't want that.

Like you told all the other monsters in the Underground about the anomaly, right?

I'm sort of interested, Sans. Exactly what would you tell them? "Hypothetically, this child might have been present in another who killed a bunch of monsters, but in another timeline that they went and undid. I think. Since I cannot exactly remember, on account of being so lazy."

Can't wait to see the proof you produce for those claims. Or are you just hoping everyone can innately sense who is or is not a bad person?

in this timeline? i didn't tell them anything.

[And if he remembers what he's said in other timelines, well, Chara doesn't get to hear about it.]

thing is, you're doing a pretty good job of providing the evidence so far.

* Despite my best efforts, I continue to be myself.

What a shame.

I saw no point putting on an act when I finally had control. Why would I put on an act now? Even just listening to conversations instead of plowing past is doing you a favour.

hey, i'm not complaining. makes my life easier.

Mine too, funnily enough. There's something to be said for the direct approach.

you won't be able to get the drop on any of them if they've figured out what you're after.