1 🐻 TEXT.

[accelerate]

[ have you seen a golden streak throughout wonderland? that's barry — the flash — scoping out the place. making sure it's up to snuff and reasonably safe (ha ha, another earth being safe? oh, barry) and searching for (1) the cheshire cat (2) the caterpillar with the hookah and (3) the queen of hearts, he's found himself so disappointed not to find (4) the mad hatter. it's like he's losing this scavenger hunt no one else is playing. ]

[ he makes sure his username is BEARY 🐻 for #reasons no one will ever guess. keeping his tone cheery and upbeat, barry's close to fooling himself that he doesn't feel so empty on the inside and infinitely defeated. ]

Little Barry fell
d
o
w
n
the hole
bumped his head
and idk about my soul tbh jw if I've gone mad here??

Okay, sorry, that wasn't a real question. Siri's not even answering me so I'm guessing it's just not even a good one to ask? What kind of Wonderland doesn't even have Jitters?

Assuming I've gone mad and I'm not going to lose my head, I've decided to come to my wise fish with a specific porpoise. Fish don't go anywhere without one.

I want to know when tea-time is (seriously, guys, I'm really, really, REALLY hungry and I could use some snacks, like high on the sugar, maybe cupcakes with icing, ice-cream in the cone, chocolate ...) and if I'm invited because I kiiiiiiind of waited in the tea-room for like an hour and a half at 6PM — ON THE DOT btw — and no one turned up? Like, come on, I'm a great party guest … even though I'm over a mile high.

What do I have to do to be in the cool kid's club????

Comments

[accelerate]

Ew. Glad I was late for that one.

Do you have ANY favorite events? Is this one of those six impossible things I'm believing in before breakfast?

[rosswood]

no
i don't think anyone here does

[accelerate]

Seriously?

There hasn't been one event you've liked?

That sucks.

With all the stuff that happens back home, sure, there's the parts you don't like — they're the big parts — but there's always something you end up liking. Even if it's small.

[ going to earth-2 had been something of a lesson for barry. he'd learned he didn't like a life where he and joe weren't friends, but he did like how he felt being married to iris, watching her live her dream of being a cop, and living somewhat of a normal life as a human without powers. but he almost missed being the flash. ]

[ if the events are anything like travelling to other earths, he thinks he's got this in the bag. ]

[rosswood]

it's better than where i was
that's about all it has going for it

this place blows what can i say

[accelerate]

Wonderland's worse than home?

Even with the free stuff and the unlimited Internet?

[rosswood]

nah wonderland's better than where i was
but that's literally all it has in its favor

[accelerate]

I hope it gets better for you.

I know, that sounds kind of hollow, especially from someone who's new and going on about a cool kids club. But. Things will change if you want them to. Maybe take that blunt object and not hit yourself with it.

[ this is so ironic coming from barry allen, the man who was running with the intent to enter the speed force and change his life literally forever. his blunt object is his speed, and he's been using it to hit himself many times over. ]

Besides. I'm going to get an invite to tea-time. You can come. Free food, dude.

[rosswood]

i'll take a raincheck
save it for when things aren't this chaotic maybe

[Personally, anyway. He's still fixing the relationships he's shattered since he got here.]

[accelerate]

How long have you been here?

[rosswood]

about 6 months

[accelerate]

Pretty sure that's a lot longer than Alice was in Wonderland the first time.

Looking for a way out? I know, dumb question, but I have to ask.

[rosswood]

nah
plenty of people around here are though you could probably ask around
this place blows but it's safer than home was
if we ever break out of this place i'm hitching a ride with someone else

[accelerate]

Got your sights set on any particular place?

[ alternate worlds: it's not a hard concept for barry to grasp. it's not a difficult concept at all. has he wanted to break into the breach and travel to another world? definitely. ]

[ he understands that need to escape more than anything right now. ]

[rosswood]

i'm not picky
anyplace without a zombie apocalypse
those seem to be common

[accelerate]

We had ONE zombie this one time …

[ it's not helping his case, is it? he's from a world that's strange. he wonders if any plainly and boringly normal worlds exist out there. ]

But no apocalypse. More like a meta-human apocalypse, though. But I'm not too sure if you'd call it an apocalypse? Since it was stopped before it started.

You should definitely go for one with good music, though. Music apocalypses are the BEST.

[rosswood]

[Man, this guy really favors his emojis, doesn't he? Eh. Who's Alex to judge.

Actually, no, Alex judges the hell out of other people. But he's also liked the cut of this guy's gib so far. Not that he'd ever admit it.]

in general anything with the word "apocalypse" after it doesn't sound like a good time

[accelerate]

[ emojis make the world a better place. less apocalypses! except for the emoji apocalypse ... ]

So, are you aiming for a place like "Pleasantville"?

Even though I think they're gunning for a smile apocalypse ... How many times can you smile and say everything's okay? Or a perfect apocalypse ...

[rosswood]

i'd rather not take any apocalypses???
there have to be some worlds out there that are completely boring and stupid and nice
honestly i'll take anything

[accelerate]

But would that be an apocalypse of boredom?

[rosswood]

not if it means i get to fucking live.

[oh my god man what is with it with you and emojis]

[accelerate]

[ embrace them. be one with the emoji. ]

Hey, just checking to see what WOULDN'T kill you. Hope there's an xbox wherever you go. You're going to need it.

Good luck, though. Hopefully you'll be able to piggyback on someone and get taken to a whole new world that isn't infested with zombies. I'd recommend Central City, but we have meta-humans and Donald Trump.

Not IN the city. But he's around.

[rosswood]

i'd say it's better than alabama but even alabama didn't have trump
i'll pass
find somewhere nice and quiet
thinking maybe the suburbs

[accelerate]

JW do you know Wisteria Lane? The 'Burbs?

Suburbia: Not as boring as it seems, JS.

[rosswood]

ugh

[Guy's got a point. Regrettably.]

guess your right
just my luck if i end up in some stepford hell

[accelerate]

LBR, Wisteria Lane would be kind of cool? Those houses are nice. The 'Burbs is okay if you move in after Tom Hanks and Princess Leia. Buuuuut you have to think about your luck. Would you be next to Teri Hatcher or Eva Longoria? One is better than the other, dude.