lime green drama queen (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
slapfight) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entranceway2016-08-09 10:31 pm
slapfight) wrote in entranceway2016-08-09 10:31 pm
Entry tags:
- dragon age: anders,
- jjba: trish una,
- life is strange: max caulfield,
- once upon a time: regina mills,
- once upon a time: zelena,
- over the garden wall: greg,
- steven universe: amethyst,
- steven universe: peridot,
- supernatural: dean winchester,
- the originals: freya mikaelson,
- the vampire diaries: camille o'connell,
- undertale: alphys,
- undertale: frisk,
- undertale: sans,
- voltron: pidge gunderson,
- x-men: raven darkholme
Voice } i think it's time you learned a little better, the nature of this silly little mess...
[this was in no way a good event for Peridot. oh, it had started out well enough, resistances, rebellion, standing up for the little guy, but it had all been wrong, and there for a brief moment, she was something she wasn't supposed to be. not in a metaphorical sense either. in a very real, very horrifying sense.
and then it was over. and she was back to being a gem, as if it had never happened, and was she supposed to forget that? forget that form, that body when she could remember it clearly. this is probably not bothering anyone else, but it's bothering her, and she isn't sure how to bring it up or discuss it or anything.
so she goes to her own stand-by... being bitter.]
Log Date... [she pauses, suddenly realizing she has no idea what the date even is anymore, and then goes on.] Undated Log zero-dash-zero-dash-one.
This is a public transmission from Peridot. Full designation "Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG," a gem formerly of Homeworld and currently of Earth. Allied with the Crystal Gems. [a snort escapes her- the sound pained] See that's the important word there- Gem. That's what I am. I can deny and change my intended purpose until my form dissipates, but I can't stop being a gem, am I right?
[another noise, this one more pained than the last.] As the last few days will attest, I am not right. At all. It seems whatever machinations Wonderland has in place cannot only take our memories, toy with our minds and sense of reality, and keep us locked on this miserable planet that's a poor copy of Earth, but it can also change our entire make-up on a whim. And who's to say it has to change us back? Are there people who've been stuck like this? [her voice rises, hysterical in pitch] Is this why there's a lizard that talks?? I've never seen a lizard that can speak on Earth! They just crawl around and do things with their tongues! I know, because I followed one around for most of an Earth cycle once out of sheer boredom! Maybe he was once a human, and Wonderland decided, "Why don't I just make him a lizard? It'll be great!"
[she stops mid-rant, unsure of where she was even going with this. she's fine. it's okay. she just... needed to vent about it. publicly. now the healing can begin?
right?]
Talking about what makes you feel bad is supposed to make it go away, right? Why isn't it working?
[maybe because that isn't at all talking about it, Peri.]
and then it was over. and she was back to being a gem, as if it had never happened, and was she supposed to forget that? forget that form, that body when she could remember it clearly. this is probably not bothering anyone else, but it's bothering her, and she isn't sure how to bring it up or discuss it or anything.
so she goes to her own stand-by... being bitter.]
Log Date... [she pauses, suddenly realizing she has no idea what the date even is anymore, and then goes on.] Undated Log zero-dash-zero-dash-one.
This is a public transmission from Peridot. Full designation "Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG," a gem formerly of Homeworld and currently of Earth. Allied with the Crystal Gems. [a snort escapes her- the sound pained] See that's the important word there- Gem. That's what I am. I can deny and change my intended purpose until my form dissipates, but I can't stop being a gem, am I right?
[another noise, this one more pained than the last.] As the last few days will attest, I am not right. At all. It seems whatever machinations Wonderland has in place cannot only take our memories, toy with our minds and sense of reality, and keep us locked on this miserable planet that's a poor copy of Earth, but it can also change our entire make-up on a whim. And who's to say it has to change us back? Are there people who've been stuck like this? [her voice rises, hysterical in pitch] Is this why there's a lizard that talks?? I've never seen a lizard that can speak on Earth! They just crawl around and do things with their tongues! I know, because I followed one around for most of an Earth cycle once out of sheer boredom! Maybe he was once a human, and Wonderland decided, "Why don't I just make him a lizard? It'll be great!"
[she stops mid-rant, unsure of where she was even going with this. she's fine. it's okay. she just... needed to vent about it. publicly. now the healing can begin?
right?]
Talking about what makes you feel bad is supposed to make it go away, right? Why isn't it working?
[maybe because that isn't at all talking about it, Peri.]
[video]
at least farts are objectively hilarious.
[video]
[look sans, she trusts your sense of humor and all, but she lived in a bathroom for a long time. bodily functions are terrifying.]
[video]
[video]
[WAIT UNTIL YOU'RE ROOMIES WITH LAPIS.]
[video]
[He ducks out of sight and comes back with his arms full of whoopee cushions.]
alright, dot. since you're just entering the comedy scene, i feel the need to educate you on the best tool in a comedian's entire arsenal. the whoopee cushion.
[He holds one up.]
the idea is you blow it up kind of like a balloon, and then put it somewhere that someone will probably either sit on it or grab it tightly. like on a chair. or you can hide the little ones in your hand.
[He holds up another one that's already been filled.]
so then when they sit on it or go to shake your hand...
[He squeezes. And the most glorious fart sound fills the air.]
and that's what a fart sounds like.
[video]
It takes her a few seconds to process why this is funny- it's just noise. She spends most of her existence making weird noises. And then, of course, the sheer fact that she's trying to parse this out logically brings her to a fit of snickers and the more she snickers the more she realizes okay maybe it is an inherently funny noise, and the element of SURPRISE involved, because clearly people have an embarrassing reaction to the involuntary sounds their bodies can make.
she covers her mouth with her hands, still nyeh-heh-heh-ing it up over here.] Oh my stars... That is funny. It's exceedingly simple, but gives maximum results.
[video]
right? it's pretty much the best thing in the world.