Video; I beg your pardon, I never promised you a rose garden

[harpless]

[That was no small comet that hit the checkerboard hills, that was an angel who was actually aiming for a car that was speeding down Highway 94. Talk about missing their target completely. In any case, should you check out the anomaly, whatever caused it is gone.

Around this time the network devices go a little haywire, glass starts to break. When a voice finally comes through, it’s not pleasant at all. But just as it becomes unbearable, it stops.]

My apologies. s...this... better?

[There’s a long pause as if the feed cut out.]

…Taken a wrong turn at the Grand Canyon. This does not appear to be Minnesota.

Meg?

…Meg?

[And finally a face. Castiel tilts his head at the device, aware that it had to be used for some kind of communication, but whatever else it was capable was lost to him. Had he been properly warned about the candy, he wouldn't have politely consumed a proffered piece. He currently resembles what an angel should look like according to pop culture. Toga, harp, large black wings, and a sparkly halo to top it all off.]

Comments

video;

[ofletters]

Cas. [ Sam admits a shaky smile. ] Hey. Uh - Meg's not here, but if you tell me where you are, I can come talk in person.

[ ... Hang on, the outfit - Ah, never mind. Not now. ]

You okay?

[harpless]

Sam. That's disappointing.

I think it's best if I come to you under the circumstances.

[He knows, Sam. He knows. He's going to ignore the costume right now.]

No. I attempted to introduce Beean to the flowers, they were very rude.

You cannot, in fact, learn a lot of things from the flowers. They are singing out of season and had no manners.

[ofletters]

... Alright. [ Can he find Sam?

He's about to ask when he hears the word - bee - and stiffens. ]

Cas... What's the last thing you remember?

[harpless]

...I was surrounded by large unhappy dogs.

Meg explained that they were unhappy because the rabbit was fake.

Sam. They think in ovals, kind of like you and Dean.

In a loop. Saving the world.

Chasing rabbits.

[He hums in thought, placing a finger to his lips.]

I think Meg may have given me the wrong directions to the vehicle, but I found you. So they couldn't have been that wrong.

[ofletters]

Large - What?

[ Hellhounds? Sam frowns deeply, but then shakes his head. ]

Come... over here, and we'll talk about it. Alright? I'm here, and... Dean's here, and you'll be fine.

[intelligently]

Why were you going to the Grand Canyon?

[harpless]

Have you been? It's truly a masterpiece.

[intelligently]

No. I haven't had chance. What makes it a masterpiece?

[harpless]

Before He created humans, the Grand Canyon was a marvel to behold.

I can count my existence in its layers.

... it boasts a healthy population of carpenter bees. Who are also essential to the ecosystem, but often thought of as pests.

[intelligently]

I was expecting it to be because of the scenery. Bees are actually pretty different.

[video]

[catinthemask]

[Hi Castiel, there's a man in a cat mask on the other end.]

Ah ah ah, it's more like a trip down the rabbit hole. Welcome to Wonderland, dear friend. Sadly I do not reconize the name you are calling out but I may be able to help you with any other questions you may have.

[harpless]

I don't remember following an oryctolagus cuniculus into a hole.

[At least he's a polite man in a cat mask. Cas can appreciate that.]

Thank you. Is it customary to wear cat masks here?

[If so, he wants one.]

[catinthemask]

[Cas is also one of the few people who haven't given him a weird look over it! Very nice.]

Nor did I! Although it would be tripping in my case as I was walking.

[Decided to go to Zone 2 before the world ended again.]

The mask is more something I wear. But I know the person who could make you one for a price, if you are interested.

[Which...is himself, in another mask. Really.]

[harpless]

I may have flown into it.

Dean was driving over the speed limit as he often does. [It's not easy flying into a moving car.] I've warned him of the dangers of this on many occasions.

This would be acceptable.

[Though he's not sure if this is socially acceptable by Winchester standards.]

[catinthemask]

I can see how that could lead to a very bloody and probably very sudden death! I hope your friend will take care to drive in a safe manner once you return home.

[But Castiel talking to a guy who breaks the fourth wall of his own game with the grace of a rhino in a China tea shop. Socially acceptably be dammed.]

Excellent! I happen to have him here, so if you wish to speak with my friend just say the word.

[And be prepared for a really lame joke.]

[Video]

[lightgunhustler]

Oh my God.

[Jo's response is almost immediate once she sees the video, sitting upright on the bed in her room as she steadies her own device in front of her.]

Castiel--

[It's been a long, long time since she's seen him, and her heart leaps into her throat at the welcome sight of a familiar face.

Wait a second.]

What are you wearing?

[harpless]

Hello Jo.

[It probably wasn't polite to point out to her that she wasn't actually alive in his time, but he's very happy to see her all the same.

He even manages a smile before glancing down at the costume he was wearing.]

It appears to be a tunic of sorts.

[lightgunhustler]

[At least he wouldn't be telling her anything she isn't used to hearing. She's always behind everyone else in the timeline; life had gone on for them after hers had come to an abrupt stop.]

Guess Wonderland wanted to welcome you in style.

[She grimaces.]

Are you okay?

[harpless]

Does this happen often?

[He seems fine with the whole getup, mostly because he figures it's better to be dressed than under-dressed.

He appears distressed for brief a moment at the question. He feels fine, but...]

I'm... I'm honing my communication skills. I've been ... uh asleep? Meg took care of me, she isn't so bad. Forgive me if I say something wrong. It is good to see you again, Jo.

[lightgunhustler]

Not this, exactly-- there's some unusual stuff going on at the moment, but people showing up on a whim? Yeah, that's a pretty regular thing around here.

[Of course, they can also leave on a whim. Despite the fact that it happens frequently, nothing about who Wonderland chooses to take or send off or when is ever predictable.

She sighs, offering him a small, tired smile.]

It's good to see you, too. Been a long time on my end. I'm guessing it's been even longer on yours.

[mulletrock]

Jesus Christ. What the hell happened to you?

[This is a fresh out of 2009 Dean wondering why the angel on his shoulder seems to be crackers. He'll save the requests for Meg for later. There's been way too much going on lately, and even after the spark notes from Sam he'd rather hear it from Cas first hand.]

[harpless]

Hello, Dean. I watch the bees now.

[...and avoid questions that bring up things that he isn't ready to talk about.]

[mulletrock]

That's great and all, but this isn't a goddamn nature documentary.

[Despite how harsh the words are there's a lot more underlying concern there than any actual venom. Looks like common sense flew the coop and he's never been very great at helping people lick their wounds.]

[harpless]

Was that not the answer you were looking for? I don't

I don't have answers, Dean.

Not anymore. I woke up, I just am.

[He hopes he hasn't upset him, nothing a sandwich can't cure later!]

I don't fight, but I can offer perspective? A documentary, if you will.

[mulletrock]

Wait- What?

[Oh god, his head hurts. What did he just say? This is way too new age for a not yet (totally) sober Dean who was happy to see him up until this new age level of crazy.]