entranceway | e x p e r i m e n t #05 (accidental video)

e x p e r i m e n t #05 (accidental video)

[When the broadcast starts, it goes from silence to the immediate noise of two people screaming, punctuated by the sound of laser gunshots and mechanical whirring. It seems the device is on a side-table, giving a flat view of Ford and Alphys… perched on another table. Alphys is curled up, hands over her head, looking incredibly distressed, while Ford seems to be shooting at something off-camera.]

Oh m-my god, oh my god, we’re going to d-die here, I’m so s-sorry, I didn’t know they were all going to start...

Don’t worry! I happen to have excellent aim.

[All of a sudden, something takes a flying leap up onto the table, and Alphys yells as Ford shoots it down. The ensuing shot causes the device to fall over, revealing the floor is absolutely covered in knife wielding box tentacles, some with multiple arms, some with multiple knives, all running over each other and stabbing the floor, themselves, and the table. Alphys is still yelling. Ford is still shooting. It looks like an absolute catastrophe.]

Maybe we shouldn’t have prototyped them with the basic ability to learn--

Well it w-would have been fine if it was just, y-you know, one of them! They weren’t all supposed to turn on at the same time!

[Suddenly, Alphys turns her head and seems to notice the device, turning herself around and reaching out to grab it, bringing it in close to her and Ford.]

Uh, t-this is totally under control! No need to panic! I d-don’t, uhm, know how long this has been broadcasting, but, it’s f-fine! … And m-maybe don’t come to Ford’s room for, uhm, a little bit, for uh. Reasons.

Is that thing on? Uh, I mean-- Yes! Everything is absolutely, 100% under control. There is no need to worry about anythi-- [Ford cuts himself off and hisses.] Watch out, Alphys! I think it just tasted my blood!!

Oh g-god please don’t let that do anything new.

[And the device blinks off, cutting out the mechanical whirring sounds with it.]

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[... So, uh. Here's a face you probably weren't expecting to have suddenly tuning in to this absolute shitshow, but after poking at the device we just found upon our arrival here a moment ago...]

Lessee here... ah, now the device should be turnin' on--sweet sarsaparilla!

[Is that a floor consisting of knife-wielding tentacles. And a lizard person??

... You know what, we've seen enough, time to turn this thing off immediately.]

[Alphys does not actually recognize him right off the bat, because she's too busy panicking about tentacles and Knives.]

I'm s-sorry! We've got this handled, I promise, none of them are, uh, g-gonna get out of here!

[Another reply. That's not surprising in the least, except...]

... Fiddleford?!

[Who else would ever say sarsaparilla with absolutely no irony?]

[He stops shooting altogether and tinkers with his phone.]

Come on, answer your phone!

[Be prepared to wait for a few minutes, Ford, because we're pretty sure that answering phone messages in an alien dimension when you have no idea what's happening on the other end is somewhere on the list of things best avoided in life, honestly. However, given everything else about our current situation, it's not like we know what else to do here.

So, when he does take a chance at responding, Ford will find that it's definitely the same nervous southern tone you might remember from thirty years ago. However, it seems he's keeping it strictly to voice, for now. The less he has to look at knife-swinging tentacles, the better.]

Y... yes, hello?

[Oh thank GOD.

Ford is back to shooting the horde of knifebots, but he's got his phone up to his ear in order to talk to Fiddleford.]

Fiddleford! It's-- It's me, it's Stanford! I can't believe you're back.

[This probably raises many, many questions.]

[He had thought there was something oddly familiar about the man in the video, but actually focusing on the voice now... there's no denying that he sounds just like the Stanford we know, despite the confusing words being thrown at us here.]

"Back"? What are...

[Um. Is that more shooting in the background... it is, isn't it.]

are... you going'ta be alright there, Stanford?

[Is this what's going to cause Fiddleford's first panic attack here, having the only person we're familiar with in this dimension getting knifed upon our arrival, 'cause we would prefer to avoid that, thanks.]

Edited 2016-10-18 03:17 (UTC)

I sure am! Trust me, this is, uh, not the worst mess I've been in during the last thirty years.

Are you alright? [Also a very important question.]

Well, I'm not in a situation where I'm about'ta get stabbed by several dozen tentacle-like appendages, if that's what you're askin'.

[... Okay, surely he's alright enough if he's making those kinds of remarks. Or maybe just the sheer audacity of what he's seen so far makes him grateful that he's not in the room with you right now.]

Otherwise, I haven't the faintest clue what's goin' on, or where I am right now.

[Ford lets out a laugh. It's either that or a long sigh and honestly, none of this is Fiddleford's fault.]

If it helps you feel better, you're safe at the moment. If you see any unsettling or weird creatures, it's just one of the people who are trapped here too. The person I'm with is Dr. Alphys, a monster from a place called the Underground. She's an engineer. I think you'd like her!

--Anyway, you're in a place called Wonderland. [He'll repeat this as many times as he needs to for his friend, but it certainly hurts to be doing this yet again.

What choice does he have?]

I'll explain more when I've taken care of this mess. If you see an old man who looks like me, but with chicken legs and he wears a fez, that's my brother, Stanley. If you see a girl with braces and a boy with a hat, that's my niece and nephew, Dipper and Mabel. Oh! And Dan's daughter is here too!

We'll get you up to speed as soon as possible.

[... That is a lot of information to throw at us all at once, Stanford, but luckily for you, you've got an army of knifebots as an excuse for why you can't just explain any of that immediately.]

I, ah... yes, that'd be mighty appreciated, once you and your... friend? [Is he right about referring to Alphys as a friend here, because last we checked, you didn't have any friends other than us--I MEAN] When you're both able to get outta that mess you're in.

[...]

Speakin' of which, do I even want to know how this happened?

[Regarding how we got here, or how Stanford ended up on a table shooting knifebots? Take your pick with what you think he's referring to here.]

[He'll answer both! As best he can, anyway.] Alphys is my friend! We got together in my new lab and tried tinkering robot prototypes and somehow, blades were attached, and the remote activation triggered their RFIDs-- all their RFIDs.

As for Wonderland, well... All I can say for certain is that we're in another dimension due to extremely powerful magic. I have a theory I'll cover with you later.

We really should get on the same page. I'm sure you have a lot of questions. [That probably goes without saying, but... eh.]

... Somehow, I feel like I should'a expected that's what happened.

[Of course Stanford has something to do with why knife-bots are going wild, of course. ~~Couldn't possibly be Alphys's fault because engineers are never wrong about anything, am I right.~~

That statement however doesn't quite line up with what he thinks about why he ended up in Wonderland, but Stanford is free to think it applies to both here.]

Is there somewhere that it'd be safe to meet? I'd try to look for ya, but...

[Well, he has no idea where anything is here yet, and apparently somebody has made the third floor unsafe to be on right now.]

Hey! She started with the blades. Then it escalated from there. [Ford will never, ever outgrow his boyish and immature habit of jumping to his own defense.

Today, at this moment in time, that habit is also serving as a coping mechanism. He's trying to keep his composure in front of Alphys, after losing it at Toriel. Now this--another discussion with his best friend, ejected like an errant timeline offshoot, right back into Ford's life.

He's trying to be friendly, trying to be gracious and calm and informative.]

Anywhere inside is safe when there isn't an event. You're certainly welcome to stop by my room next door--third floor, room 33! The lab is sealed off from my actual room, but the only thing you'll have to worry about is Lee and Archimedes, and they're perfectly friendly!

--That's my owl and cat, respectively. If you get hungry, you can fetch literally almost anything out of the closet. The closets here are magical.

[Only Stanley and the kids have access to his room and even that is questionable with the locks he keeps fastened to the door to bolt it tight. While Ford certainly has reasons to question Fiddleford's trustworthiness, he thinks maybe now isn't the time to openly question his friend's motives.

There will be time for concern ~~and paranoia~~ later. Fiddleford surely has a lot of questions, and Ford has questions of his own. It's time to be a decent friend and not an asshole.]

[You can't see it since the video's turned off, but Fiddleford had to resist the urge to roll his eyes at Ford. But at the same time... that habit of Ford's is something we're used to, isn't it? Maybe it's not a welcome one, but it's something familiar in this strange place we've been tossed out into. Instead, he sighs and acquiesces to Stanford's words, for now.]

Alright. I'll start headin' that way now.

[There's a bit of an awkward pause, before he suddenly speaks up again.]

Rampagin' machines aside, I'm grateful'ta have a familiar face here. [Even if we are annoyed with him for Understandable Reasons, Ford's still our best friend. The only friend we have in this unfamiliar dimension now, in fact.] So, ah... try not to get yourself and Miss Alphys killed? Otherwise it's gonna be another thing for me to have'ta worry about here.

[... He's probably still gonna grief you a little about this when he sees you, but he appreciates an intact best friend more than a skewered one, you know?]

Dr. Alphys! [It's a gentle correction.] And don't worry so much about that.

--Oh and, listen: If Lee tries to peck your head, it just means he likes you. Tell him to stop and he'll leave you alone.

As long as he doesn't breathe fire, then I suppose getting pecked is a risk I'll have to take.

[Though despite the quip, he assumes that Lee is a normal owl, because Ford would have said something otherwise if that were not the case, right?]

Of course he doesn't breathe fire! He's just an owl. I have this metal plate in my head and he likes the sound my skull makes when he taps his beak against it.

I believe it's a sign of affection since he does it to other people.

[........The answer to that question is about... 50/50. Fiddleford got lucky this time.]

[Oh, well that's... wait--]

Uh, alright... I hope you don't mind my askin' for an explanation regardin' why you have a metal plate in your head now, 'cause that sure wasn't a thing last time I saw you.

[seriously what the fuck ford]

I don't mind at all. I documented many of my adventures as I travelled through the multiverse, and I have two of my journals here in Wonderland.

Just make yourself at home, I'll get to you as soon as I can.

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e x p e r i m e n t #05 (accidental video)

video......

video, im so sorry jesus

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