entranceway | [video ]Just a normal dude being normal doot doot

[Okay, so, Wonderland. Got it. Cassie loved that book, especially the creepy stuff. His little girl, right there!

[Nothing too creepy yet, but, hey: he dropped acid in college: he's so ready.

[ No one knows who he is, and there are precisely ZERO Baskin-Robbins here (you bet your ass he checked) so his secret is safe. So this is his big chance, time to make a fresh start. Right. He's got this. Eye of the tiger. Be the change. He's sure there's a cliche for it.

[The point is, maybe this is a good thing. No, it is a good thing. He's got this. ]

So. Uh. Hi. [He managed a cheezy smile and car salesman's hand wave.]

I'm Scott....[Aaaand his mind goes blank. How do people do this? And why is the first thing that comes to mind 'and I'm totally not an ex-con'?

[It's not that hard, Scott. Just, you know, sound normal. Whatever you do, don't sound suspicious or like you're trying to hide anything. Because what do you have to hide, right? hahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhh.]

...and I'm completely normal. [NAILED. IT.]

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D-do I sound like a robot?

[He's not so much arguing as curious. What the hell, man. This is clearly San Quentin's fault.]

I'm a person! An actual person! Like, all the time.

Where the hell are you from, though? {Because if that's normal to you, dude, you are the weird one, here.]

Why yes, yes you do.

[Seth smirks, then says in a totally robotic voice.]

I am completely normal

[He arches a brow.]

From Texas, mostly. Moved around between there and Mexico for a while. So completely normal places, but I would never tell anyone that I'm normal. I know better. Only the totally abnormal need to assure you that they're normal.

So, not a robot... what are you then? And for fuck's sake, please do not be a zombie or a vampire. I've had enough of that for a week.

I'm...pretty sure I'm not a robot. Being I have a kid and all.

[Incontrovertible proof.]

Or a zombie. Pretty sure I'd know that, too.

Man, Texas must be weirder than I thought.

You have to know I'm going to challenge asking if that kid's here, right? I mean there are kids here but...

[He's trying hard not to smirk. In part because he's been drinking, but in part beecause this is just too amusing.]

And the zombies and vampires are here. That's not home. [Not entirely.]

So where do you fall?

...you think they brought her here?

[Oh, there is going to have to be some serious asskicking. Done by him, of course.]

Oh, great.

Question: does the garlic thing work? [Because he'd rather gross vampires out than shove a stake through their hearts, which would totally gross HIM out.]

Eh, they could have. We have kids here. Whole families of them. Twins even. Won't take long before you meet at least one of them. They're... inquisitive.

[And he likes these kids. Not all, but them.]

Not on the ones I know personally. Might ask Kol. I know vervain works on some of them.

[Said as he pulls back the sleeve of his jacket, holding it up and showing the bracelet he wears.]

Personal experience says stakes work, though never tried it here, and wouldn't suggest it unless you have to. What's worse than being forced to kill off a vampire? Having them come back from the dead and now they're pissed. At you.

If Cassie were here, pretty sure she'd've let me know.

[Which is good news? Bad news? He can't decide.]

Shit, so much for making an excuse for a steady diet of garlic pasta.

Aaaaand yeah. Noted. I try to get as few people pissed at me for killing them as possible. Preferably zero.

Fair enough. Just realize, they could end up here. It happens with families. Sometimes.

[He doesn't entirely sound bitter. Not entirely.]

The closets will give you anything you want. So go for it.

Don't hold your breath on that. Never know what will happen in the events. I've managed not to die so far, but I'm not the norm.

Is that good or bad? I mean. In the whole.

[Because he'd love 100% Cassie Time but...yeah, maybe not if what some people are telling him is true.]

Any tips on how you manage that? The whole 'not dying' thing? Because I'm kind of fond of being not dead.

Guess depends on if you want your kid running through the events. They don't spare the kids.

[Which, for him, would be enough to not want them here. Though he wants his brother here, so who knows.]

A lot of chances and a lot more luck. Also some holing up in corners when I can. Not afraid of hiding when I have to. You're the type to rush in to save others, you'll find yourself coming back. Five though and you're working for...

[He pauses, considering that.] Huh, that's a curious question. Used to be you were a puppet of the queen on the mirror side but supposedly we're friendly now, so who knows.

Right. So. No, then.

[He's not gonna win Father of the Year award anytime soon, but he is protective of Cassie. ]

A queen? Really? I haven't read the book in like ages but I don't think that sounds like a good thing.

Nothing about this place is very good, but I'll be the first to tell you I would trade this world for mine if they stayed like they were when I got here.

So far no one has cried out for someone to be beheaded, but I'm waiting.

[He's only seen the cartoon.]

I could like NOT wait for that. Like, let's never have that happen.

[Right. All that 'off with their heads' stuff. He remembers. EXTRA happy Cassie's not here. ]

Yeah, it doesn't work like that. If anyone here experienced things like that in their world, then you're likely going to deal with it here as well.

[video ]Just a normal dude being normal doot doot

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