entranceway | [video ]Just a normal dude being normal doot doot

[Okay, so, Wonderland. Got it. Cassie loved that book, especially the creepy stuff. His little girl, right there!

[Nothing too creepy yet, but, hey: he dropped acid in college: he's so ready.

[ No one knows who he is, and there are precisely ZERO Baskin-Robbins here (you bet your ass he checked) so his secret is safe. So this is his big chance, time to make a fresh start. Right. He's got this. Eye of the tiger. Be the change. He's sure there's a cliche for it.

[The point is, maybe this is a good thing. No, it is a good thing. He's got this. ]

So. Uh. Hi. [He managed a cheezy smile and car salesman's hand wave.]

I'm Scott....[Aaaand his mind goes blank. How do people do this? And why is the first thing that comes to mind 'and I'm totally not an ex-con'?

[It's not that hard, Scott. Just, you know, sound normal. Whatever you do, don't sound suspicious or like you're trying to hide anything. Because what do you have to hide, right? hahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhh.]

...and I'm completely normal. [NAILED. IT.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Said literally no one normal ever.

[Because if it's not bad enough to be judged by a bunch of folks who at least look human, he can get judged by the little pastel unicorn. That's the sort of day he's going to get. ]

Anyway- if you haven't already gathered normal is pretty subjective here.

[ Uh. What is that. ]

...I'm sorry but are you a talking unicorn? [He has to ask. Because if not, he's really gonna have questions.]

No. I'm a figment of your imagination.

[He rolls his eyes with a soft, annoyed huff. ]

Of course I'm a talking unicorn. And you're a talking human-shaped-thing that's apparently normal. Glad we cleared that up.

First, that wasn't one of the choices, because I know I don't have that great an imagination.

Second, I'm not a human-shaped thing; I'm a human being. [HUFF.] Who just also happens to be human shaped.

How would you feel if I called you a unicorn-shaped thing?

[NOT very good, right?]

Technically you didn't give me any choices.

[Sunburst, it's this kind of pedantry that makes it hard for others to relate to you. ]

Given the mansion is full of vampires, zombies and assorted others who happen to look human, but get insulted when you call them as such, I find it's always better to not assume.

[He glances down at himself, then back at the screen. ]

But I am a unicorn-shaped thing. On account of me being a unicorn.

Well, it was rhetorical.

Or something. [Hey he wasn't an English major or something. Give him some slack.]

Okay, fine. I'm a human shaped thing who is also human.

[Awkward pause, because how do you conversation?]

So, your English is pretty good, gotta say.

Was it? Was it really?

[Still, he doesn't seem overly offended, letting out a soft, amused snort. ]

We all have a universal translator...or perhaps a universal language here. Not quite sure how it works, it's definitely some very clever magic. Perhaps it does change everything to English, but it's certainly not the language I speak back home.

I...think so? [ Wow, a talking horse is giving him an existential crisis and now a language one. This place can't get much weirder. ]

That's some crazy tech. You know who invented it?

[He's about to make it worse. ]

It's not technology, it's magic. This place is lousy with it. I don't know who created such a spell- perhaps it's just natural to this place. I imagine it originates from the Core, either way though.

['Scuse him while he laughs. ]

There's no such thing as magic. Just science we're not smart enough to understand yet.

[Wow, Scott, R U D E.]

Perhaps in your world, but there are plenty of other worlds represented here. And in some of them magic is very much real.

I mean, you're literally talking to a unicorn right now. [He gestures at his horn with a forehoof.] Come on.

[He's just a science guy.

With not great manners. ]

Look, it's the same with those 'other worlds'. Magic isn't real. It's just science in flashy underpants.

[Sunburst lets out an annoyed snort, ears flicking back. Wow. THIS GUY. ]

That's- that's

[He waves his hooves in the air to try and explain how THAT this is. ]

I've studied magic my whole life! It's not science. They're two separate things!

[This is an awesome guy, what are you thinking? ]

They're the same stuff. [Says the guy who is anti magic and has never actually seen any.] Look, if it follows rules, it's science.

[Clearly, the most awesome guy. ]

That's a ridiculous way of thinking. Lots of things have rules that aren't science for one thing, and for another, if you don't have magic in your world, how can you decide how it works?. It's rude.

[video ]Just a normal dude being normal doot doot

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