-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling entranceWay [EW] --

[forevercapslock]

OKAY, I KNOW THIS IS COMPLETELY POINTLESS. THIS TYPING UP SHIT FOR PEOPLE TO SEE THING, I MEAN. MEMOS NEVER WORKED OUT FOR ME BEFORE, EXCEPT TO MAKE ME ARGUE WITH MYSELF ACROSS SPANS OF TEN OR FIFTEEN MINUTES IN SOME SORT OF TEMPORAL CIRCLE-JERK THAT ONLY EVER MADE ME LOOK LIKE A HUGE BULGE-SCRATCHING TOOL WHO HAS NO ONE BUT OTHER ITERATIONS OF HIMSELF TO TALK TO.
BUT I GUESS THAT'S BASICALLY WHAT I AM ANYWAY? SINCE NO ONE IS ACTUALLY READING THIS, IT'S FAIR TO SAY THAT DESPITE THE TEMPORAL LIMITATIONS OF THIS NEANDERTHAL CHAT CLIENT, I'M REALLY JUST TYPING THIS FOR MY OWN BENEFIT SO THAT I DON'T SIT HERE STARING AT A BLANK SCREEN, SCREAMING AND SCREAMING AND FUCKING SCREAMING SOME MORE UNTIL SOMETHING RUPTURES.
ANYWAY, THERE IS ACTUALLY A POINT TO THIS POINTLESS MEMO AND I'M FINALLY GETTING TO THAT. IF YOU ACTUALLY READ ALL OF THIS, HERE IT IS: THE POINT.
I AM GOING TO COME TO YOUR RESPITEBLOCK IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT
I AM GOING TO STAND NEXT TO YOUR HUMAN BED WHILE YOU SLEEP
AND I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE FUCKING FACE, EGBERT.










WHY AM I SURPRISED THAT THERE IS NO FUTURE ME CHIMING IN HERE TO TELL ME TO SHUT MY SEED FLAPS? HOW AM I GOING TO KNOW WHEN TO STOP SHOVING MY FOOT DOWN MY OWN WINDTUBE WITHOUT FUTURE ME TO TEXT-WALL ME INTO CONFUSED RAGE UNTIL I BECOME HIM AND COMPLETE THE LOOP BY SCREAMING AT PAST ME?
FUCK, I ACTUALLY MISS FUTURE ME.
YOU'VE DONE IT, UNIVERSE.
YOU'VE WON.

Comments

[forevercapslock]

FUCK OFF.

[aquarium_tipper]

holy fuck what ii2 your deal?
iit'2 not even liike thii2 ii2 the fiir2t tiime you've diied.
the dream2elve2 iidiiot.

[forevercapslock]

YES, THANKS, I REMEMBER MY DREAMSELF DYING.
AND YES, I KNOW THAT IF WE'RE TALLYING DEATHS, YOU'RE WINNING. YOU'VE DIED MORE THAN I HAVE, DOOM DOOM BLUH DOOM, I HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE A LITTLE FREAKED OUT BY IT.
SO IF YOU'RE SO FUCKING UNWILLING TO ALLOW ME A LITTLE SPACE TO FLIP MY SHIT OVER EGBERT BASHING MY HEAD IN WITH A HAMMER, TRY BACK LATER.
ALL OF MY TELLER WINDOWS ARE BUSY AND I CAN NOT HANDLE YOUR SASS RIGHT NOW.

[aquarium_tipper]

ii cannot fuckiing BELIIEVE that you thiink 2o liittle of me liike iim thii2 iimature, iin2ecure liittle 2ludge 2wiimmer who would briing up the "offiiciial" death count.
you know, iin a moment where iit2 clearly iinappropriiate two the 2iituatiion.
two try and fuckiing dii2crediit you or whatever iit ii2 you thiink ii do wiith my goddamn abundance of tiime.
a2 oppo2ed two takiing the moral hiighground and, ii dont know, helpiing you.
becau2e that ii2 what ii was aiimiing for, iidiiot.

[forevercapslock]

YOUR AIM IS SHITTY. YOU CAN'T INVALIDATE MY DISCOMFORT WITH MY VIOLENT DEATH IN ONE SENTENCE AND THEN TELL ME YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP ME IN THE NEXT ONE.

[aquarium_tipper]

oh what the fuck ever my aiim iis perfect and on target and the fuckiing latest updated ver2iion.
ii mean diid you even read the part where ii riight out 2tated that ii am not tryiing two dii2crediit you?
iit2 riight there iin liine2 thiirty three two thiirty four.
you don't even have two do anythiing ab2urdly prepo2terou2 liike readiing iin between the liine2.

[forevercapslock]

FINE. OKAY. I KNOW YOU SAID THAT.
I STILL DON'T GET HOW ANYTHING YOU SAID PREVIOUS TO LINE 33 (AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHY THE FUCK YOU BOTHERED TO COUNT THE NUMBER OF LINES WE'VE TYPED, I WOULD STILL HAVE KNOWN WHAT YOU WERE REFERRING TO WITHOUT THE NUMERICAL CITATION) WAS IN ANY WAY HELPFUL.
SO LET ME JUST ASK: WHAT IS IT YOU'RE TRYING TO HELP *WITH*?

[aquarium_tipper]

you are not 2eeiing the numeriical ciitatiion a2 an exten2iion of my 2uper amaziing helpfullne22 but that ii2 okay ii gue22 and a thiing that ii wiill overlook.
twoday.
you don't do the doom thiing 2o ii'm not doiing iit.
bam.
lookiit me beiing a con2iiderate friiend riight there.
liike ii'm the guy tryiing to make thii2 more ca2ual.
and you're 2iir kniight gotta brood fa2t.

[forevercapslock]

OKAY. SO I NEED TO CUT THIS SHIT OUT.
PART OF THE POINT OF THE WHOLE MEMO WAS CATHARSIS.
SO I GUESS I'M OVER IT.

[aquarium_tipper]

you don't have two be.
but whatever you want.
good for you iif you found your crabby liittle zen.
2o.
2iince we're no longer tryiing two act liike a cliique of bratty 2choolgiirlbea2t2.
had you already 2orted everythiing wiith egbert or diid you 2eriiou2ly publiicly call hiim out and threaten two punch hiim whiile he 2leep2.

[forevercapslock]

I DID PUBLICLY THREATEN TO PUNCH HIM IN HIS SLEEP, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO ACTUALLY DO THAT.
I MEAN, I KNOW IT WAS AN EVENT SO IT WASN'T REALLY HIS FAULT.
SO WHILE I'M STILL AT LEAST IRRITATED, IF NOT FREAKED OUT, ABOUT THE WHOLE THING, I'M NOT IRRITATED AT *HIM*.
MOSTLY.

[aquarium_tipper]

eheheheh okay.
ii wanted wanted two make 2ure you were keepiing your level of 2ociial douchery iin check.
place niice or w/e.
actually ii don't thiink thii2 ii2 the fiir2t tiime you have threatened two 2neak through the niight and punch a dude.
but that wa2 way fuck back when.
2o good goiing.

[forevercapslock]

I GUESS THAT WILL JUST BE PROOF THAT I'M THE SAME ME THAT WAS HERE BEFORE.

ALSO, DID YOU DOUBLE THE WORD "WANTED" ON PURPOSE OR WAS THAT AN AUTOMATIC PART OF YOUR CRAZY COMPULSION TO HAVE TWO OF THINGS?

[aquarium_tipper]

uhh.
ye2.
of cour2e iit wa2.

[forevercapslock]

OF COURSE.

[aquarium_tipper]

don't 2a22 me.
that 2econd wanted ii2 clearly a modiifiier two the fiir2t one.
what a bro iit i2.
we are not talkiing about me anyway.
we are talkiing about you.

[forevercapslock]

WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT ME?

[aquarium_tipper]

becau2e thii2 ii2 your memo.
you even 2tated that 2hiit.
liike twiice or 2omethiing.

[forevercapslock]

FINE. I JUST THOUGHT WE WERE DONE WITH THAT TOPIC, SINCE I'M TRYING TO BE OVER IT.
ALTHOUGH I GUESS I'M NOT, REALLY. I'M JUST CALMER NOW.

[aquarium_tipper]

2o diid he catch you off guard or what.
ii2 that an awkward que2tiion two a2k?

[forevercapslock]

NO.
I MEAN "NO" TO THE SECOND QUESTION.
THE ANSWER TO THE FIRST QUESTION IS "MOSTLY".
"MOSTLY" AS IN I WASN'T EXPECTING IT, BUT I WAS TURNING AROUND TO LOOK AT HIM THE FIRST TIME HE HIT ME, SO I SAW IT COME FOR SOME SMALL FRACTION OF A SECOND BEFORE I LOST A BUNCH OF TEETH AND STARTED TWITCHING LIKE I WAS NEUROLOGICALLY CHALLENGED.
WHICH I GUESS IS COSMIC RETRIBUTION FOR DROPPING YOU DOWN THE STAIRS THAT ONE TIME.

[aquarium_tipper]

ii2 that 2uppo2ed two be 2ome 2ort of euphemii2m.

[forevercapslock]

NO, I ACTUALLY DROPPED YOU DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS AND YOU LOST A BUNCH OF TEETH.
WHICH HASN'T HAPPENED TO THE ITERATION OF YOU THAT YOU CURRENTLY ARE YET, BUT FOR WHICH I GUESS I SHOULD APOLOGIZE...FUTURE-ACTIVELY?
SHIT, THERE ISN'T AN ANTONYM FOR RETROACTIVE.
WHATEVER, I'M SORRY THAT SOMEDAY FOR YOU AND SOME TIME AGO FOR ME, I DROPPED YOU DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS WHILE DRAGGING YOU AWAY FROM THE MADDENING HONKING OF A RAGE-FILLED, CRAZY-SANE JUGGALO.

[aquarium_tipper]

pro2pectiively?
ii don't know iif you can make an adverb from pro2pectiive.
eiither way that ii2 probably the fuckiing wor2t 2tory 2la2h update2 2la2h thiing2 ii 2hould but cannot look out for.
but ii thiink the very wor2t part.
ii2 that'2 the be2t explanatiion ii've ever gotten from you.
regardiing the future.

[forevercapslock]

IF IT'S ANY CONSOLATION, YOU STOPPED LISPING.