-- twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling entranceWay[EW] -- (??)

[aquarium_tipper]

[Ah yes, Wonderland gives us an unintentional video today as Sollux enters the kitchen. He's got a very serious gaming marathon going on which has led to the inevitable -- A HUNGER THAT NO CLOSET FOOD CAN SATISFY. This kid needs nerd food. He walks over to the oven and looks down at it.]

Okay I need a fuck ton of bagel biteth.

[The oven pops out a serving of the things. Sollux is not amused.]

No, I thaid gimmie a tonne.

[Of course there's no actually way of knowing if he says 'ton' as opposed to 'tonne', but we'll have to give it the benefit of the doubt. As you know, the mansion does, as it proceeds to generously present the troll with a tidal wave metric ton of pizza flavored bagels. That's like 45,545 of the things, son.]




JEGUTH. [And then the camera politely shuts off.]

Comments

[aquarium_tipper]

that ii2 a viiciiou2ly 2iick de2criiptiion.
iit really ii2.
but get your fuckiing priioriitiie2 iin order.
ii don't thiink he ii2 2olely out two conquer your 2trange human body.
even iif iit ii2 a paiil quadrant.
ii wouldn't fuckiing know per2onally but that ii2 not the poiint.

[hamburellakind]

what do you do with a black romance person if it isn't uh
that?

[aquarium_tipper]

uhh.
ii am goiing two blatantly plageriize from your earliier de2criiptiion.
iit'2 really liike riival2 but you al2o kii22.
2o.
you fiigure iit out.

[hamburellakind]

we fight over video games and then make out angrily?

[aquarium_tipper]

ii.
ye2 2ure.
2ure iif that ii2 what your liittle black 2pade de2iires.

[hamburellakind]

do you guys literally have a spade?

[aquarium_tipper]

no john that ii2 obviiou2ly ju2t an expre22iion.
we have blood pu2her2 liike everythiing el2e.
wherea2 2pade2 are not a piiece of the troll anatomy puzzle.

[hamburellakind]

i figured i'd ask!
people talk about their "gut feelings" and shit all the time with humans and i mean obviously the gut isn't actually saying anything but it's meant to refer to something real!
kind of.
also it'd be weird if you had something spades-shaped in you.
...not that hearts are heart-shaped.
i don't know why i am talking about this.

[aquarium_tipper]

you ju2t fiinii2hed talkiing about po22iibly per2uiing an aliien relatiion2hiip wiith karkat vanta2.
and 2pade 2haped organ2 are the thiing2 you can't beliieve you are talkiing about?
REELLY??
that would be dumb anyway.
becau2e we would need diiamond2 and club2 two.

[hamburellakind]

my mind can only be so open, dude.
clubs could be like triple ovaries or something...
or balls.
omg sollux do you have three balls.
science needs to know.

[aquarium_tipper]

ii have no iidea what that mean2.
but knowiing you ii wiill 2ay:
and here ii could not beliieve you could become anymore of a dii2gu2tiing motherfuck.
jegu2.
a22umiing ii were 2omehow a mutant wiith extra piiece2.
ii would have two of whatever iidiiot.

[hamburellakind]

can quirks work like that?
because then that means karkat is like
full of capital letters or some shit.
and terezi has 413 of everything.

[aquarium_tipper]

ii have two fuckiing 2et2 of horn2.
and.
that ii2 my argument.
kk'2 horn2 are kiind of liike blocky capiital letter2.
booyah.

[YOURE NOT READY TO HANDLE THE TRUTH, JOHN. NO ONE IS.]

[hamburellakind]

explain terezi.

[aquarium_tipper]

iif you turn the 4 ontwo iit2 2iide.
iit ii2 poiinty liike her horn2.
and 2he ii2 thiirteen human earth year2 old.
have 2ome fuckiing iimagiinatiion.

[hamburellakind]

she isn't gonna be 13 forever hehehe.
CHECKMATE, sir.

[aquarium_tipper]

oh 2HIIT you are riight.
what a 2econd rate hackjob of a p2ychiic ii am.
what a 2lop 2pewiing wriinklefuck ii have been.
the mother grub weep2 iin 2hame.
ii2 your viictory 2uffiiciiant yet?

[hamburellakind]

yeah i'm pretty good.
you may go about your pile-building business or whatever.
if you still have a bunch left over, bring them to my room.

[aquarium_tipper]

eheheheh wow you pretentiiou2 human nookmunch.
yeah okay ii'll do that.
riight out2iide your door.
ii'm goiing two barriicade you iin wiith roughly two thou2and miinii bagel2.
2UCKER.

[hamburellakind]

fffffff.
you BUCKETFUCKER!!!!!
HOW DARE YOU!!!!

[aquarium_tipper]

no one expect2 the alterniian iintrollii2iitiion!!
you've ju2t been...
2ERVED.
but no 2erii2ouly you're goiing two be forced iintwo hiibernatiion by 2heer piizza power alone.
GET READY.

[btw don't get blown away in the epic northern snowstorm Kels 8( idk if it's reaching all the way to you or not, but still]

[hamburellakind]

tell my boyfriend i love him.
i died how i lived.
covered in cheese.




[I'm still here! :3 We got a ton of snow this week but nothing especially bad.]