[VIDEO]

[stoptheviolence]

[The camera unfocuses for a moment before focusing back in on...Brittany. Of course. It’s her camera, so why wouldn’t it be her? But she’s not alone. There’s an adorable miniature pony at her side...with a horn on its head...and the sounds of a chirping squirrel can be heard coming from somewhere just off-screen.]

[Brittany, of course, sees nothing wrong with any of this, and is happily spinning in her chair, wearing her pajamas, despite the fact that her hair is has been expertly styled, and her makeup is impeccable. Beside her, the usual decorations of a youthful teen girl could be seen. Bright colors. Stuffed animals. And a particular picture seen hanging on the wall right over her bed.]

‘sup, Wonderland. I’m Brittany. And this is my new show, the Wonderland edition of Fondue for Two.

...well, four, if you count Lady Winny and Sir Squeakums over there.

[More chirping, as if the squirrel were responding to her. The unicorn remained silent. Content with just sitting there and looking fabulous. As she should. Santana, on the other hand, is sitting nearby but away from the furry creatures, looking...like she is doing this out of love. Being the first semi-guest was not on her to-do list, especially after her experience with the show back home. Again: for love.]

We’re here to bring you the latest and greatest of Wonderland’s cheezy news. [As she says this, she leans forward and reaches down to pick up...something speared onto a large toothpick and covered in Fondue goodness. She makes a show of eating it. Because cheezy fondue. Get it?] And, I guess, whatever else we feel like talking about at the moment.

So if you’ve got the goods, feel free to call in. After all, sharing is caring.

[And then, just before she lets it go to the phones...or Network, or whatever, Santana decides to speak up:]

Do it or Imma break some kneecaps.

Comments

[video]

[thepointisdolphins]

[The timing could not be worse.] ...You must be joking.

[video]

[stoptheviolence]

[Is that a challenge?]

Not yet, but I could try telling a joke, if that's what you want to hear.

[itsahotone]

[Santana's just gonna give him a lovely smirk, then say to Brittany:]

Ask him about his boyfriend; he loves talking about that.

[video]

[thepointisdolphins]

Cute. Utterly hilarious.

[thepointisdolphins]

[GET OUT.] I fail to see what about this is actually entertaining.

[video]

[stoptheviolence]

Thanks, but I didn't even tell the joke yet!

Umm, let's see... Knock Knock?

[video]

[thepointisdolphins]

...Are you being deliberately obtuse?

[video]

[stoptheviolence]

[And there goes the moment.]

Excuse you.

I'll have you know that I exercise, like every day. Saying I'm fat is so uncalled for.

video;

[eatsyourscience]

...Cheezy news? [Souji doesn't understand.]

video;

[stoptheviolence]

Best kind of news there is.

video;

[eatsyourscience]

What's an example?

video;

[stoptheviolence]

Well...back home, I talked a bit about what clubs and stuff people belonged to. And I interviewed Lord Tubbington on his opinions regarding The Aristocats. Since, you know, I'm sure none of them were ever actually consulted when it was made.

video;

[eatsyourscience]

[So pretty much anything, then.]

Okay. Hm... There were a lot of cats around where I lived in my world. I named one of them Señor Purrito.

video;

[stoptheviolence]

[Basically, yeah.]

That's a pretty cute name. Was he a singer?

video;

[eatsyourscience]

The cat?

video;

[stoptheviolence]

Uh, yeah. That's who you were talking about, right?

[itsahotone]

Everything.

[As long as it tortures other people, that is.]

[video]

[thepointisdolphins]

[Wat.]

Americans. Obtuse means--dense. [Not much better, Crowley.] Slow. Stupid.

[thepointisdolphins]

So you wouldn't mind having your dirty laundry out flapping in the breeze as well, then? [Cause he might do some digging.]

[video]

[stoptheviolence]

[Oh you did not just say the S word]

...I am not stupid.

[video]

[thepointisdolphins]

Then it's deliberate, is it?

[video]

[stoptheviolence]

What, you being a total jerk? I'm starting to think so.

[video]

[thepointisdolphins]

No, you being deliberately dense.

[video]

[stoptheviolence]

I'm not being deliberately anything.

What's your problem?

[video]

[thepointisdolphins]

Right now my problem seems to be teenagers. [Which is really sad if you think about it. He heaves an exasperated sigh and cuts the feed.]