entranceway | Video/Action

Current Mood: panicked

Entry tags:

Video/Action

[Wirt has never addressed the network directly, or on purpose. He's never felt the need to, and he's not much of a public broadcast kind of guy. The whole public speaking thing usually leaves him weak in the knees, but this is different. It's an emergency.]

H-Has-- Has anyone seen my brother, Greg?

[Wirt quickly turns the camera away from himself and shows the room behind him. The view is shaky, due to his unsteady hands, but it gets the point across - it's back to the default, like Greg was never there at all. Even his frog is nowhere to be found.]

I-I-I...sure he runs off on his own a lot, but-- but! But I would have heard from him by now, o-or there would be some sign of him somewhere, right? It's like he just...disappeared, out of nowhere! Spirited away somewhere!

[He's panicking. He's absolutely panicking and he's still kind of half-expecting Greg to just pop out somewhere and be like "Oh hey Wirt! I wound a WAY better room!" or something. Wirt knots his fingers in his hair, which knocks his hat slightly out of place. He can't help thinking of every horrible possibility. Didn't someone say there was a serial killer on the loose, or a cannibal or something? Or what if he's hurt somewhere, or worse? Does that make all your things disappear? Wirt hasn't been in Wonderland long enough to know.]

He...H-He's about this tall. [Wirt gestures accordingly, bending down a little.] He's six years old, a-and he's-- teakettle! He's been wearing a teakettle on his head! And there's...there's this frog he's been carrying around everywhere - I think his name's James right now? Greg might've changed it by now b-but you can't really miss them. Has anyone seen them? Anyone? Please, if someone knows where he is...!

[They're not going to know. Greg's gone. Greg's gone and this is useless. Wirt looks down, not sure what else to ask, or what else to do. But, there's only one thing he can do.]

I...I have to go. But please, if anyone sees him, let me know? Um, thank you. ...I appreciate it.

[He shoves the device in his pocket, but forgets to shut it off. The last few seconds on his broadcast are just the sound of Wirt running as fast as he can down the hall. There's only one place he hasn't looked yet, so maybe...maybe he's in the woods, where they first arrived.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Wirt knew it was coming, but that doesn't make it any less disappointing. With just the words "I'm sorry" all the hope is extinguished from his face. Of course she hasn't seen him. No one's seen him. no one's seen him because he isn't here to be seen anymore.]

...Yeah. Y-Yeah, I. I must've gotten turned around at some point. I can still see the mansion from here.

[He really isn't great at navigating nature, and honestly he's lucky he didn't get lost deeper in the woods. Again. Though, part of him still wonders if he could get back to the Unknown just by walking far enough...but, he's sure Beatrice probably tried it before he and Greg even got to Wonderland.

Distantly he knows that Cami's probably asking because she's coming to find him, and that he should probably meet her halfway, but he also doesn't really want to get up just yet. So, he doesn't.]

Edited 2015-03-12 00:25 (UTC)

Okay. [Good. Even if Wirt sees it as a mistake, if he can see the mansion then maybe Cami will be able to see him. She wants to find him as quickly as possible, so he won’t be alone any longer than he has been.] Just—just stay there, okay? I’ll be there soon.

[Because Wirt is of course right in his assumption that Cami is on her way, practically running as she makes her way outside. This goes far beyond the unspoken position she’s taken as his therapist. He’s a sweet kid, a friend, and Cami silently curses Wonderland for doing this to him. Of course people come and go; Cami herself hasn’t seen Hayley in days, believes the wolf to have been sent home as well. But this had been his sibling, his baby brother, and there aren’t words to describe the agony of that.

She doesn’t say much more over the phone, only a comment when she passes through the mansion’s front door, then another when she nears the woods. Her focus instead is on picking out the boy among the trees, hoping he hasn’t left the spot he’d answered her call from. No matter how quickly she goes it takes too long, and by the time she finds him crouched down, she’s absolutely breathless.]

Wirt… [But that makes it easier, in its own way. Without hesitation, Cami drops down to her knees, reaching out to pull Wirt into a tight hug.]

[He can't shake the feeling that this is his all fault. He didn't watch Greg closely enough. He didn't pay enough attention to him. Maybe if he had, he would have seen Greg wander off and caught him. Maybe he would have been able to follow him.

Maybe he wouldn't be sitting under a stupid tree alone right now.

The worst part is that it isn't all guilt. There's anger, as though Greg actively made the choice to go and as though he went without him. It's stupid and he knows but it still darkens his thoughts anyway. He feels left behind, abandoned by a six-year-old. Ultimately it just makes him feel worse though - who knows what Greg went back to.

He barely registers that Cami's arrived until she's right next to him, until her arms are around his shoulders. Wirt doesn't hug back, but the gesture is welcome just the same. He leans against her a little bit, unsure of what else he should do.]

...Cami.

[His voice wavers more than he expects it to. He can feel water in his eyes, but he shuts them before anything can happen. What else can he say though? Wirt has no idea what he should do, or what he wants or needs from her - or from anyone, for that matter.]

I-I...I've looked everywhere. I...I don't think Greg's here anymore.

[If nothing else, Cami can at least offer him someone who understands that there is nothing he should be doing in this moment. The emotions are too much, deep and overwhelming, and the best anyone can hope for is to not drown as they pull them too far down to let them breathe. So he doesn’t have to hug her, although she won’t be letting go of him once she feels the slight way his weight shift. And he doesn’t have to let those tears fall, but Cami will still be there if he can’t hold them back.]

I know. I think he’s been sent back to your world. [She rubs his hand across his back, the motion soft and meant to be soothing. She doesn’t say anything more than that, to acknowledge the truth that Wirt himself has to, in hopes that the mess now welling within him might find a way out in the silence. All she can do for him is provide an outlet, someone to scream at or cry on, someone to be there even when the world feels suddenly far too vast and empty.]

[Wirt's been told that many times now. It was the majority of the advice he received when he made that post, because apparently it's conventional Wonderland wisdom that when someone's belongings disappear it's because they're gone. They've gone home.

But that's exactly the problem. Wirt tenses in her arms.]

...R-Right. He's...but he's not at home! He's back in the woods! Back in the Unknown...

[He's not going back to a warm house and parents and a bed to sleep in. He's going back to a forest that only seems to get colder the further they walk into it. He's going to sneak onto a ferry that they thought would lead them to someone who could help them find their way home...someone that Wirt has since learned is just looking for servants. Did they ever sit Greg down and tell him that? And even if they had, they supposedly don't remember Wonderland when they leave, so it wouldn't have mattered at all.]

It's dangerous there! We kept getting told about this Beast, a-and...and Greg's on his way to Adelaide! Everyone keeps saying that he's back with me, but...I don't know that! If I never actually leave Wonderland, then there won't be anyone there when he gets back. It's be like I just...blinked out of existence, or something!

[And Greg will be forced to face all of the terrors of the Unknown alone. He won't even have Beatrice, since she's still in Wonderland too. He's stuck in the Unknown and Wirt's in Wonderland and the whole thing is a horrible mess. He doesn't know what to do or if there's anything he even can do, aside from babble at Cami and let her hug him.]

[She feels that stiffness work its way through his body, relaxing her grip just a little in case Wirt wants to pull away. But he doesn’t, instead still leaning on Cami, rambling on in fear and it’s easily the most he’s ever said to her at once without stuttering. Throughout it all she listens, because even though she knows her response within the first few words, Wirt needs to get this out. This isn’t going to be a new fear for him; no, Wirt would have carried it throughout his time in Wonderland, with and without Greg. So much of what they’ve been told seems to be conjecture, promises from people who are just as trapped and just as helpless. Why would it seem good enough to rely on now, in the midst of his helplessness?

Even if he believed it, Wirt would still be powerless to change anything, to make things right—and that’s one of the most difficult things for anyone to accept.]

Except it won’t be, I promise. [She waits until she’s sure he’s ready for her to answer, at the same time lifting that hand from his back to gently stroke his hair. It’s something she does without really thinking about it, something she used to do for Sean when they’d been younger and he skinned his knee or had a nightmare. And in so many ways, it feels right to offer that comfort to Wirt now.]

There are a bunch of people from my world here, and out of all of them? I’m the one from furthest in our future. [She doubts it will be enough, but maybe it might still help, just a little.] Which means that if they had ever been gone, I would have known about it. But I don’t—no one knows. So what everyone has said, Wirt, it’s true. Greg isn’t alone. He still has you right there with him. I know it doesn’t feel like it’s possible, but it is.

[Wirt doesn't know what's truly worse, not being able to do anything no matter what or having options but not the courage to move forward and take them. This time though, there really isn't anything he can do, but all he can think is that there must have been something he missed when Greg was still in Wonderland, something he could have done if he'd only been paying attention.

The hug feels good though, as does the hand in his hair. It's soothing, and it makes him miss his mom. Does she know they're gone yet? Will only one of her sons make it back to her?]

...Really?

[It's the first anecdote he's heard that's made any kind of sense. If Cami didn't notice any of her friends going missing, then maybe it is true. A thought hits him though and he gasps, and pulls back a bit.]

Beatrice! She's...I-I totally forgot, but she was ahead of me and Greg! It wasn't by much, maybe like a day or so, but she remembered all this stuff that we hadn't been through yet.

[He just sort of brushed it off and forgot about it because it hadn't made any sense at the time. Now that he's been in Wonderland a little longer though...well, he's embarrassed he forgot in the first place, but the significance of it is much clearer.]

If she didn't remember us disappearing, then Greg really did go back to exactly that point!

[In all honesty, she’s expecting to have to push the point; Wirt’s struggled to believe the positive aspects she’s tried to show him each time they’ve talked, and Cami suspects his despair would have him do the same now. Yet for once, hope wins out, leaving her surprised as he pulls away to connect what Cami’s now told him to Beatrice’s experience.

And if it’s just this one time that he believes her without reservation? Cami will take it.]

Yeah, exactly. [She gives Wirt a faint smile, glad he can take comfort in this if nothing else.] He’s not on his own. You haven’t left him.

[It may be the only comfort she can offer him in all this, but maybe that reassurance will anchor him through the other half of the pain. Greg hasn’t been separated from Wirt, but Wirt has just lost his little brother. The relief that comes from knowing the first part can only do so much to lessen the hurt of the second, but it’s still something to hold to.]

Yeah...yeah, that has to be the case. She would have said something if I'd disappeared, I think.

[Especially if she was only a day ahead of them. She and Greg would have still been trying to find him, or at least he thinks they would. He has to, because while he's not generally an optimistic person he can't think of a good reason Beatrice wouldn't have mentioned it when they reunited in Wonderland. That's proof enough for Wirt.

...But, that still means Greg isn't in Wonderland anymore, and that Wirt is alone. It sinks in a little too quickly, and most of the relief is turns cold. He's...not sure how to feel.]

I...I can't believe he's actually gone though.

[He sounds resigned though, like someone who can believe it a little too well.]

I think so too. [The person she’d spoken to cared far too much to keep something like that secret, at least in Cami’s perspective. She offers Wirt a faint smile, not at all happy but still glad that he has that something for however long it lasts. Yet that panic had protected him in a way, kept the harsher truth out of his mind, and when Wirt breathes it out a moment later Cami nods in understanding.]

I know. [Even as perpetually prepared for the worst as she thinks Wirt must be, it’s impossible for her to think he could be ready for Greg to just not be there. It’s too much like death, and while that tells Cami exactly what Wirt’s dealing with, she wishes more than anything he wouldn’t have to.] It’s impossibly hard to lose your brother. You don’t know what to feel at first. Anger or sadness, or even nothing at all: none of it seems like the right thing, like what you should be feeling.

[She pauses then, to wipe her face and take a breath. Though they don’t fall, the tears in her eyes aren’t solely for Wirt’s sake.]

But it’s okay. Whatever you feel, it’s okay.

[Cami is completely right about all of it. It's a weird mix of emotions. There's misplaced anger at Greg for wandering away, but mostly anger at himself for not noticing, for not doing a better job at the whole older brother thing. He's sad, of course. There's this sense of mourning, as he mentally prepares for the worst - the possibility that he might be stuck forever and that he might never see Greg again. But the weirdest is the nothing, the numbness that comes from knowing this is something that can't be changed. No matter what he does, no matter how he feels, he can't change the fact that Greg isn't here and that Greg might not ever come back. He might never go home. That nothingness protects him from everything else, but he feels most guilty about that. You're not supposed to feel nothing when your brother vanishes, but he can't seem to summon up the energy for anything else.

Nothing feels right or like what he's supposed to be doing, so to hear Cami say so, to have her tell him it's okay and normal...it helps. It really does. It's okay.]

I should have been paying closer attention. Like, maybe if we'd been together we would've left at the same time? I-I don't know if it works like that, but...

[Then he looks up and really notices Cami for the first time, with her eyes full of tears. It finally clicks that maybe she isn't familiar just because of her profession, and that maybe this isn't just about him. So, he turns it back on her.]

...um. Are-- are you okay? You don't really seem like it.

I don’t think it is. I think it’s just part of the way Wonderland works: people show up at random, and they leave the same way. [And while the truth won’t offer any sort of comfort, maybe with it Wirt can find a way to work through that sense of responsibility that none of them can live up to. Of course he won’t be able to latch onto it immediately, nor does Cami expect him to. But hearing it plants the seed, and in time the idea just might manage to take root.

Helped, no doubt, by the fact that Wirt is clever. She favors him with a sad smile, for a moment tempted to brush off his question and focus on his pain instead. But would that really be the better route? The one thing that had settled into her when Sean died, that bone-deep feeling she couldn’t shake, had been her own loneliness. Nothing can take the place of a brother gone, but maybe having a friend who has walked that path might offer more than a therapist offering comfort.]

I had a brother, back home; we were twins. [She glances down, forcing a steadiness into her voice she doesn’t truly feel, but needs to maintain all the same.] When I lost him, I started thinking a lot of the same things you are. That I should have been there, that I should have seen something—that I could have stopped it somehow. It took me a long time to understand that it was just beyond me to be able to save him.

[It had taken the same thing happening to her uncle, in fact, and Cami’s utter failure to be able to stop it.]

[Wirt catches the past tense, all of the "had"s and "were"s, and knows immediately that what happened to her brother is much more serious than what happened to Greg. If everyone is right, Greg will be there when he leaves Wonderland. It sounds like that's not the case for Cami and her brother.]

...I'm sorry.

[It's quiet, but genuine. He does feel a little bad for freaking out so much about Greg in front of her, but it's not why he apologizes. He can't even imagine what losing a twin would be like.]

That must have been hard though. I mean...y-you can't just flip a switch and suddenly stop blaming yourself for stuff, right? Life just doesn't work like that. I mean, people think it does - that if they tell you it's not your fault enough that it just clicks eventually. But they don't get that you can kind of...you can know there was nothing you could have done without really...believing it. Like, you look at it logically from every angle and still go "well, I couldn't have done anything to change it, but it definitely feels like it's all my fault and I should probably just crawl in a hole forever now".

[He knows all about that feeling, even if he's never had someone close to him die before.]

I guess what I'm saying is...I-I dunno. Things like that are kind of beyond anyone, but...I'm glad you got to that point, eventually.

[She nods in gratitude at his sympathy, although of course there’s no reason for Wirt to feel guilty. She hasn’t told him to compare loses or somehow invalidate his; Cami only wants him to know that there is at least one person out there who does understand, who has felt that pain and who he can come to when he needs help facing his. If there is one good thing to come out of all of this, it would be that—

And as Wirt continues on? It seems as if it has.

She listens with a small smile as he speaks, more about himself than her, and certainly more about himself than he would have ever dared to the first time they met. She reaches out to take his hands when he’s finished, a gentle squeeze shared between them as she meets his gaze.]

It isn’t easy, but with enough time and effort, it is possible. For anyone. [For you, but Cami suspects that’s something Wirt needs to decide on his own rather than being told; he needs to believe it, rather than just know it.] And in the meantime, we’ve still got each other.

[He's surprised when she takes his hands, but he doesn't pull away either. It's a kind gesture from a kind person, but...he knows what the end of that sentence should be, and it's a lot easier said than done. He smiles politely, but he can't seem to hold that gaze. He doesn't meet her eyes.]

...Yeah. Yeah, we do.

[Though it feels more like Cami's got him and he's just drifting along, unable to really be a sufficient support for anyone. It doesn't feel balanced, so it's hard not to feel like she's just saying it to be nice, or to make him feel better. He does appreciate it though, and after an awkward moment of being unsure how to express that, he squeezes her hands back. ]

Um. ...Thank you. I-I'm. [No. Say it clearly.] I'm sorry if I made you worry, or anything.

[It hadn't been his intention. He just kind of...got swept up in searching and freaking out.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Video/Action

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject