entranceway | video } the city is a nightmare a horrible dream

[Dipper always looks a little on the paranoid and overtired side, but he looks especially bad today. Amazing how much harder it is to sleep when the very reason you have trouble sleeping in the first place is actually here and likely to torment your nightmares if you dare close your eyes. Not that staying awake forever is an option. Dipper just wishes it was. He starts the feed, then sits, back, looking grim.]

Hey. Dipper and Ford Pines here. You might have noticed the super weird triangle thing that came up recently? Well, that's not a what. That's a who. [A beat.] And… also a what, actually.

[Ford doesn’t look much better either. His brow is furrowed and his expression, grave.] That super weird triangle thing is a dream demon known as ‘Bill Cipher’. He is incredibly powerful and incredibly dangerous. Now I’m sure some of you will take this as a challenge-- How bad can he be? Right? [He shrugs airily, but abruptly points at the camera.]

Wrong. Bill is most powerful in the mindscape; a mental realm between dimensions. He can read your mind and inhabit your dreams and he is chaos incarnate. He may be charming, but above all else he is a liar and a monster.

[Dipper raises a finger.] Also? Don't make a deal with him. He will lie to you and cheat you out of your end and then he'll possess you and do terrible things to and with your body. [Terrible, terrible things. Dipper rubs his arm.]

But good news? He can't possess you if you don't deal with him, and without a corporeal form he's pretty limited in what damage he can do. Still got the omniscience and nightmares to contend with, but who hasn't had to deal with a few nightmares? [It's fine. He's fine.]

[Ford puts a comforting hand on Dipper’s shoulder.] If you happened to follow his instructions and you drew a triangle with an eye, I suggest you destroy that paper immediately--preferably by burning it. If you can help it, do NOT engage! I cannot stress that enough. Do not be a fool just because you think you can handle yourself. It’s not worth the risk.

[Dipper nods firmly.] If he contacts you? Let us know. If he… takes an interest in you or something, definitely let us know. We're experts on dealing with him. We can help. We can also answer any questions you might have. To the extent that there are answers, anyway. There are still definitely more questions.

[He gives a serious nod, glances up at Ford, then looks into the camera.]

That's it for now, Wonderland. Stay safe, and come to us with any questions.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You are absolutely right, but he can also invade and manipulate your dreams, and there are a lot of people who would be willing to make a deal with him if they thought they could get away with it.

...

Do gems sleep?

[A shrug.]

Eh. If we want. Peridot doesn't, I do. I could stop if I really had to. Would make having my sweet bed less awesome, though.

That's amazing! Hmmm. Well, stay away from mysterious things with one eye while you dream, and you should be fine.

Allllrighty. No cyclopses, got it. Cyclopes? Cyclopi? Whatever. ... [She snaps a finger.] Hey, but humans have to sleep way more often, don't they? Can't the science people invent some way to stop people from sleeping? That'd really stick it to this guy.

We already have! It's called coffee. I add a few doses of a concentrated mixture into coffee to give it an extra kick. That stuff keeps me awake for days.

Wait, what? Coffee does that? I thought it just made your tongue feel funny for a day or two. Huh.

Oh, well, [he looks a little too proud of himself] coffee does help keep you awake, but it's the added kick of my own invention that's especially beneficial.

If you drink too much, your tongue does feel funny though. I always liked that. The jitters? Not so much.