entranceway | video } the city is a nightmare a horrible dream

[Dipper always looks a little on the paranoid and overtired side, but he looks especially bad today. Amazing how much harder it is to sleep when the very reason you have trouble sleeping in the first place is actually here and likely to torment your nightmares if you dare close your eyes. Not that staying awake forever is an option. Dipper just wishes it was. He starts the feed, then sits, back, looking grim.]

Hey. Dipper and Ford Pines here. You might have noticed the super weird triangle thing that came up recently? Well, that's not a what. That's a who. [A beat.] And… also a what, actually.

[Ford doesn’t look much better either. His brow is furrowed and his expression, grave.] That super weird triangle thing is a dream demon known as ‘Bill Cipher’. He is incredibly powerful and incredibly dangerous. Now I’m sure some of you will take this as a challenge-- How bad can he be? Right? [He shrugs airily, but abruptly points at the camera.]

Wrong. Bill is most powerful in the mindscape; a mental realm between dimensions. He can read your mind and inhabit your dreams and he is chaos incarnate. He may be charming, but above all else he is a liar and a monster.

[Dipper raises a finger.] Also? Don't make a deal with him. He will lie to you and cheat you out of your end and then he'll possess you and do terrible things to and with your body. [Terrible, terrible things. Dipper rubs his arm.]

But good news? He can't possess you if you don't deal with him, and without a corporeal form he's pretty limited in what damage he can do. Still got the omniscience and nightmares to contend with, but who hasn't had to deal with a few nightmares? [It's fine. He's fine.]

[Ford puts a comforting hand on Dipper’s shoulder.] If you happened to follow his instructions and you drew a triangle with an eye, I suggest you destroy that paper immediately--preferably by burning it. If you can help it, do NOT engage! I cannot stress that enough. Do not be a fool just because you think you can handle yourself. It’s not worth the risk.

[Dipper nods firmly.] If he contacts you? Let us know. If he… takes an interest in you or something, definitely let us know. We're experts on dealing with him. We can help. We can also answer any questions you might have. To the extent that there are answers, anyway. There are still definitely more questions.

[He gives a serious nod, glances up at Ford, then looks into the camera.]

That's it for now, Wonderland. Stay safe, and come to us with any questions.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

And what about everyone else? Even if it works, even if this does get us home, what about the people who can't go home? Do you seriously not care at all what happens to them?

[Of course he doesn't. He's Stan.]

[Honestly? If it's them or his family, he's going to pick his family every time. Every time.

But, that's going to make him sound like a monster, so that's not the argument he's going to go with.]

It's a transdimentional...whatever-the-technical-term-is. If they can't go home-home, then they can use it to find somewhere else to go! It's apparently a huge multiverse out there, so why let this place mess with you and eat your memories when you could find somethin' better? It'll be an upgrade for them!

For some people this is home! And this portal drove McGucket insane! In what bizarro situation is there any way this ends well?

The one where we're all stuck in a bizarro dimension that eats our memories like candy. That one.

Besides, so it drove one guy insane. That ain't a reason to not save anyone. Plus, your Grunkle Ford was in there for thirty years and he turned out fine! ...For the most part.

[Honestly, given that he almost took a crossbow to the face when he turned up on Ford's porch, Stan would argue that Ford came out of that portal with significantly better mental health than before he went in it.]

video } the city is a nightmare a horrible dream

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