e x p e r i m e n t #05 (accidental video)

[mviw]

[When the broadcast starts, it goes from silence to the immediate noise of two people screaming, punctuated by the sound of laser gunshots and mechanical whirring. It seems the device is on a side-table, giving a flat view of Ford and Alphys… perched on another table. Alphys is curled up, hands over her head, looking incredibly distressed, while Ford seems to be shooting at something off-camera.]

Oh m-my god, oh my god, we’re going to d-die here, I’m so s-sorry, I didn’t know they were all going to start...

Don’t worry! I happen to have excellent aim.

[All of a sudden, something takes a flying leap up onto the table, and Alphys yells as Ford shoots it down. The ensuing shot causes the device to fall over, revealing the floor is absolutely covered in knife wielding box tentacles, some with multiple arms, some with multiple knives, all running over each other and stabbing the floor, themselves, and the table. Alphys is still yelling. Ford is still shooting. It looks like an absolute catastrophe.]

Maybe we shouldn’t have prototyped them with the basic ability to learn--

Well it w-would have been fine if it was just, y-you know, one of them! They weren’t all supposed to turn on at the same time!

[Suddenly, Alphys turns her head and seems to notice the device, turning herself around and reaching out to grab it, bringing it in close to her and Ford.]

Uh, t-this is totally under control! No need to panic! I d-don’t, uhm, know how long this has been broadcasting, but, it’s f-fine! … And m-maybe don’t come to Ford’s room for, uhm, a little bit, for uh. Reasons.

Is that thing on? Uh, I mean-- Yes! Everything is absolutely, 100% under control. There is no need to worry about anythi-- [Ford cuts himself off and hisses.] Watch out, Alphys! I think it just tasted my blood!!

Oh g-god please don’t let that do anything new.

[And the device blinks off, cutting out the mechanical whirring sounds with it.]

Comments

[mviw]

Oh my GOD.

[sciencelizard]

[Alphys is yelling over Ford's shoulder for this one.]

Is this really the time for, uhm, these s-sorts of discussions, when we could literally die??

[RICK STOP INSTIGATING HIM IT WAS A GOOD DATE]

[mviw]

--Oh, God-- Sorry, Alphys!

[and at the communicator:]

Mind your own business, Rick! Go pester Stanley about his love life.

[charlastan]

Leave me outta this, you nerds!

[mviw]

You're not embarrassed are you?

[charlastan]

Yeah, embarrassed for you maybe.

[mviw]

Only one of us has been on a date here and it's not YOU.

[sciencelizard]

PLEASE STOP DOING THIS WHILE WE ARE BEING ACTIVELY ATTACKED

[charlastan]

[STAN FLAT OUT IGNORES HER.]

I don't NEED to have gone on a date here! You and I both know that I've gone on more dates than you have, period.

[The seventies sure were great.]

[mviw]

If by dates you mean kidnapping, then sure.

--Sorry Alphys!--

Whatever helps you sleep at night, Stanley.

[HE'S NOT GONNA REPLY BUT FEEL FREE TO ANYWAY]

[wriggedywrecked]

What, I ain't judging, I fucked a giraffe one t-time.

[mviw]

[he doesn't respond because ROBOTS, but

sometimes he lies awake at night wondering if rick was telling the truth]

[sciencelizard]

OH MY GOD IS THIS REALLY THE TIME

[wriggedywrecked]

Well shit, now I ship it.

[sciencelizard]

[All that comes through is unintelligible frustrated screaming.]